Today’s title is only meaningful to anyone who knows anything about football. Those who have read any of my previous blogs will know of my less than sensible love of Newcastle United. Well this week end decides whether we play in the Premiership or we are relegated to play among the dead men. As supporters the last ten games have been a nightmare! 9 loses and 1 draw. We expect to lose our last game and we are then totally reliant on Manchester Utd on getting at least a draw against one of our fellow giants Hull City. It pains me to say that we deserve to go down and I have been ashamed to be a supporter this season but after going to matches for 54 years I have to retain my optimism fopr one more game and say “come on the magpies”.

My villain of the week is Mr Mark Nelson from Mountain Ash in South wales who is proud of catching a 9ft. 400lb Porbeagle shark. The only catch is Mr.Nelson, this shark is classed critically endangered by the International Union For Conservation of Nature. Well done!

The Tory government were aiming during the last parliament to reduce net immigration to less than “tens of thousands”. It was 318,000 last year. But apparently it was the coalition partners fault especially Vince Cable. I thought it was Labour’s fault for everything!!!!! Well Mr Cameron is now going to sort it out himself as he can’t trust anyone else.

Bernie Eccleston owes 1£billion tax. Not a problem when you are worth 6£billion. What gets me when charged and found guilty of bribery he is allowed to pay a £60million fine instead of a 10 year prison sentence. One law for the rich and one for the poor should we say?

William Hague is hoping to get £25,000 a time for after dinner speaking. That’s very expensive for a insomnia cure.

Did you know in the 18th century people with facial scars filled them in with lard and painted them over with white lead?

Did you know beard trimming was banned in the bible? Or Lloyds of London once offered reduced premiums for missionary ships because they had divine protection?

Finally they have caught the men who broke into the Hatton Garden vault. A right team of pros they were. A plumber, a builder, a lorry driver etc. They were aged up to 76, one was deaf and one had a limp. How did such a motley crew manage to steal £10 million worth of valuables. They weren’t that good. They got caught!!!!

Poem to day is a reflective one Enjoy.THE THIEF OF TIME


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