FLAGRANT FRIDAY

Two things in particular have struck me this week as I wander my mostly solitary beach this week. Solitary as it rained for 48 hours and as you can imagine only the really dedicated and professional dogwalkers were prepared to brave the bad weather. The true is I like it better when it is quiet. One because Bruce behaves better and also it allows me to think. In other words have beach thoughts. It is very therapeutic walking alone on a quiet beach.

Ok so my two main gripes are this American dentist who shot a lion and then claims he did nothing illegal. The lion was lured out of its reserve, shot with a bow and arrow and then pursued for 24 hours as he had only wounded it. That is only the tip of the iceberg, its head was then cut off presumably so it could be mounted and there are also photos of him posing with a dead leopard and rhino. Who in this day and age can think it is fun to kill wild animals. Apparently he is not alone it is big business in Africa. You can pay to hunt Elephants, hippos, leopards, crocodiles but they will also kill giraffes and zebras and ostriches. I didn’t actually realise Zebras and giraffes were threatening to man. Anyway I think the hunters themselves should be hunted and perhaps we should mount their heads on our walls!!!!!!

Second gripe is the member of the House of Lords who was caught snorting coke from prostitutes breasts.  He wont resign from the Lords and would you believe he was head of the standards commitee. He was caught complaining how little they got paid for attending the house and how he was struggling to pay the rent for his flat where he was entertaining his “friends” . There are now 800 Lords and David Cameron wants to appoint up tp another 100 so the Tories will regain their majority. It is apparently the case if you donate enough to Tory party funds you can be knighted. In other words you can buy one. Unfortunately it also with the Labour party and Lib Dems but as there donors are less well off not as much.

The  people above believe you can buty most things and get away with it. Alongsde bankers and Premier League footballers they believe they are above the law.

AT this juncture I need some humour. Did you know the DC Comics character Snowflame got his superpowers from cocaine. And up until 1916 you could buy cocaine and heroine over the counter at Harrods.

The Clilean word for plumber is gasfiter.

Gavisti,the sanskrit word for war literally translates “desire for more cows” Thats my sort of war!

When threatened, a limpet can run away at a speed of 2 inches an hour. So not exactly “run away”

Lastly my hero of the week is Chris Froome, who won the Tour de France bike race this week. Despite being spat on, urine being thrown on him and a cheating Italian rider. He is so good the French think he is on drugs. It might also be because the French have been underperforming for 20 years. After Lance Armstong eventually admitted taking drugs winners are now suspected of doing the same!!

Poem this week is another jolly one AS IN LIFE AS IN DEATH

FRANKLY IT,S FRIDAY.

Here is the latest Seagull news. They have attacked an old lady this week and stole a sausage roll from a small boy. They have have previously killed two dogs and a tortoise. This is only in Cornwall but as the prime minister goes there for his hols something will have to be done. They cant kill them as they are a protected species. I would like to assure everyone that the seagulls on the Northumbrian coast are very friendly. They even fly upside down as to not drop poo on people. Thats reminds when my Grandfather was still alive( he died at 93) he found out that some religions believe you come back as an animal in a later life. So he said he would come back as a sea gull so he could shit on the people who shit on him when he was alive.

Madonna said this week ” I like to compare myself with with other kinds of artists like Picasso. He kept painting until the day he died” I hope Madonna is not singing and still wearing fish net tights at 91. Not a pretty sight.

Apparently the Queen has trouble with supplying matching cutlery for 170 table sittings for state banquets. I’m not surprised I have trouble with 6 settings.

In the papers this week it said women taking the pill are better at reading maps. Is that why so many over 40 women ask for directions? Only joking ladies.

Britains national debt is now £1.6million or £64,000 per household. But the Taxpayers Alliance say that when you take pensions and private finance into account it is really £320,000 per household. Well there is no chance of me paying my share off before I die! It is a bit worrying that those running the country can run up such a debt.

Did you know that $1,200,000,000,000 of US money is in circulation but nobody knows where 85% of it is.

Hugh Hefner has someone preselect his potato crisps so he doesnt have to eat broken ones.

Elizabeth1 always slept with another woman in her bed, she owned 3,000 dresses and the worlds first wire coat hanger and she invented gingerbread men. What a woman!!!!

Jeremy Corbyn is a very sincere politician and is thought to be ahead in the Labour party leadership contest.The only trouble is if he becomes leader they will never get into government as he is ultra left wing. Means what he says at least that is what his three wives say. Does anyone remember Michael Foot. Nice bloke too but equally unelectable. Unfortunately the other candidates arent much better.

AS far as the beach goes this week as been good weather and whisper it reasonably quiet. It is now the school holiday and will become tricky as there will be lots of picnics. As Bruce is a Labrador I,m sure you can imagine what it will be like. Actually it will be like walking thro minefields!!!

Todays poem is very sombre I,m afraid. here it is PEACE,PLEASE

A FLIPPANT FRIDAY

I only say flippant because I have just returned from London today and I am tired. If this is incoherent, sorry. For me that is 300 miles from the rat race of london. I’ve been to Wimbledon to watch the tennis and Lords to watch cricket. I love to visit London there is so much going on for sports and the arts but there are just so many people travelling in the city and queues for everything it is a relief to be back on Tyneside. Ok we obviously have heavy traffic at times but it not the same magnitude. Ilove the energy of London and did a lot of work down there before I retired but I couldn’t live there. I would miss the coast especially. Although I might have to be a bit more careful. A seagull attacked and killed a dog in Cornwall this week. MY dog Bruce might be a different proposition as he is 45 kilos which is 100 pounds or 7 stones however.

Some early humour this week. Apparently Thomas Edison who invented the reliable electric light bulb was afraid of the dark. Well that was a good incentive for him wasn’t it?

In Vermont women need written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.

The mouth of The Stature of LIberty is three foot wide. It is a woman isn’t it?

All British tanks since 1945 have been equipped with tea making facilities. What happens if they are attacked when making a nice pot of tea?

Interesting bit of information came to light this week. A man who was a Chelsea football supporter has been charged for forcing a black man off a Paris underground train. And his occupation is ************* a  Director with the World Human Rights Forum. Well thats ok then!!!!

When I was in London I visited Windsor Castle. It is very impressive place and is huge. It is virtually a small village. The largest occupied castle in the World. The valuables displayed were stunning. China dinner sets, pictures, statues, tapestries. Gold and silver objects. Some are just stunning. Apparently there is a room where they keep many other priceleess things they haven’t got room to exhibit. Everything is owned by the Crown. And so is the contents of the other 3 Royal palaces, Sandringham, Balmoral and Buckingham. The collection is breathtaking and priceless. But when there is poverty and not enough money for the National Health Service there is an obscenity about it. I felt the same when I went to Italy and and visited their magnificent Cathedrals again with priceless artifacts, especially the Vatican. Stunningly beautiful but look at the number of Catholics who die of hunger and disease around the world. It just makes you think have we got our priorities right? Food for thought.

Also my poem is food for thought        .COLOUR-BLIND

FUNDAMENTALLY FRIDAY

Its a beautiful day in the world, sunny, warm with a light breeze. The beach was not too busy, and people were chatting to each other as they do when the weather is good. The same people with dogs walk on the beach no matter what the weather but others only appear when it is good weather. Us regulars look down on them and call them fair weather walkers. Tomorrow Im going to Wimbledon for the first time. It is one of those bucket list things to do. Another to be ticked off the list. Obviously im looking forward to it. The weather forecast is excellent so heres hoping.

Well the first Conservative budget for 19 years was entirely predictable. Excellent news for the rich and people who live in the south of England. Poor people everywhere will be worse off but they dont vote Conservative. So much for the Northern Industrial powerhouse.

Greece are still in major financial the ordinary people are suffering. no dodt it will eventually be sorted out. Finance is an easy problem. But people are dying every day in Syria and Iraq in particular and by the way Russia is still occuping parts of Ukraine. And there are smaller ongoing wars in Africa. ISIS is still controlling large parts of the Middle East. But do we really care. 30 British tourists were killed in Tunsia and the government has instructed all existing tourists to come home as they cant garuntee their safety. That is all very well but Tunsia which is one of the more moderate Arab, totally relies on tourism. It means huge unemployment and the ordinary people will of course suffer the most. Poverty is the breeding ground for extremeism so we just create even more problems for ourselves.

The country I feel sorry for more than any other at the moment is Gaza. Their country is virtually a ruin and Israel wont allow building materials in to rebuild the country. The two sides are as bad as each other. Hamas, the ruling party wont recognise the existence of Israel and Israel wont recognise Gaza’s right to exist. Anything happens and it is always the other sides fault. Someone needs to knock their heads together!!!!

Did you know Thomas Edison invented the tattoo pen?

The most common occupation for the wife of a millionaire is teacher. And she needs to work?

A group of pigeons regularly boards the London Underground at Hammersmith and alights at Ladbroke grove. It doesnt mention how they get back. Also the average London pigeon has 1.6 feet.

Did you notice this week doctors claim Aspirin does more harm than good. They keep changing their minds.

Hero and heroine of the week are Leah Washington and Joe Pugh. These two teenagers were badly injured in an accident at Alton Towers leisure park. She lost a leg and he had very bad leg and hand injuries. He has refused pain killers. The accident happened 7 weeks ago and they had a big family photograph taken this week smiling but showing their disfigurements.Very very brave kids.

Poem attached this week is one of my darker ones.     MISTAKES

A FABULOUS FRIDAY

Weather this week continues summery. Temperatures in the twenties, which is hot by our standards. Too hot for dogs with thick coats like Labradors. Fortunately living at the coast my Bruce swims every day to keep cool. Anybody who knows dogs will be aware when they meet each other they firstly touch noses then they sniff each others arses. (to put it crudely) It may be if human beings did the same we might get on better. It would certainly be a great leveller. just an idea!

Hero of the week is a man who died this week aged 106. He saved the life of  nearly 700 Jewish children during the war. He kept quiet about it for over 50 years. He didn’t think he had done anything special he only regretted that he was unable to save a train load of another 250 children who disappeared on the day war was declared.  All this was discovered in 1988 and he became SIr Nicholas Winton. He claimed his part in the rescue was vastly exaggerated. A true hero!

I feel sorry for the ordinary Greeks whose country is going bust . All their banks are currently closed. They were taken into this situation by bankers and politicians. Now new politicians are using them as pawns to make their own statements. This new regime are only interested in making names for themselves. When voted in they promised the people things they were never ever going to be able to deliver. Now they are blaming the rest of Europe for ganging up on them. Hypocrites.

What a world this is. People go on holiday and are gunned down while sunbathing.  Did the gunman (who luckily was killed) believe he would change peoples opinions by this atrocity and forward the cause of ISIS. Islam is a friendly religion so ISIS doesn’t represent them. Lets face it these people are mentally ill so who is actually financing them?

BP has now paid out £34.5 billion in compensation for the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. The company was at fault so had to pay out but it appears virtually everbody who lived in the area of the Gulf has received some compensation for something or other.

Well done the England ladies team for reaching the semi-finals of the womans world cup. They actually showed passion and were genuinely upset when they went out. England men , mangement and players take note please!!!!!

59 out of the 60 oldest living people are women (when my book was published) Wonder what that means. but to balance things up, Rome has 7575 streets named after men and only 580 after women. And the only country in the world named after a woman is St Lucia.

In 2013 police arrested a coconut on suspicion of vote rigging. Please don’t ask me why?

Poetry this week is Haikus. Hope you enjoy  HAIKUS 2