NOT MY FAVOURITE FRIDAY

I will first of all make a confession. I really dont feel very well at all. I have a headache sore throat feel as if I have been in a fight as i ache all over.I also feel nauseous and have a pain in the stomach. Get the picture, I feel crap! Now these are symptons of flu but I’m most reluctant to say as Im a man. Yes you@ve guessed it, I,ve got man flu. To rub salt in the wound today the weather is appalling. Wall to wall rain. Now those with dogs, well some dogs, still want to go out for walks. My Bruce being a labrador is delighted when it rains as it gives him an opportunity to lose his yellow colouring and become a chocolate or black lab. So it takes ages to get ready in wellington boots, full waterproofs, go out in torrential rain for an hour and wash and dry said  dog when I return. Just what I need today. Have been out twice already today with another evening walk to come.

Ok thats enough of my grumbles. What has happened this week? Well the first thing that caught my eye was that some police forces will only come out to burglaries now if your house has an even number. Well thats fine by me as i am number 66! Sod all you oddies.

Did you see the two photos Mariah Carey of this week. One is for her new album and she looks stunning, then the other was as she really is. A middle aged overweight woman. Pathetic really.

Eric Clapton has fallen out with his daughter as she said he dressed like Kermit the frog. My daughter has said worse things than that about my dress sense. Its probably because Erics wife ,who happens to be over 30 years younger than him chooses his clothes now.

I see the Queen is building a new pigeon cree (loft) for her racing pigeons. Costing a fortune. I can just see her with them. Then I read the record fee for a racing pigeon is £260,000. Wow.

Have just read about a married couple in USA, he was 7ft. 11ins and she was 2ft 5ins. What? I dont know how they did either!

Did you know the word “Viagra” is a combination of virility and “Niagara” I’ll see the falls in a different light from now on!

Charles Darwins last book was called “The Formation of Vegetable Mould through the Action of Worms” Apparently it wasnt a bestseller

Its illegal in Iceland for parents to threaten children with fictional characters.

And did you know “meh” is the sound that Japanese sheep make. What the hell was wrong allowing them to say “baa”

And finally it only cost £3 for the privilege of voting for the leader of the opposition for the foreseeable future. Step forward Jeremy Corbyn. David Cameron and after hes gone George Osborne can do what they like for the next 10 years. Sad really.                             Poem  today is IF ONLY

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