FRIDAY IN DISGUISE

Well yes its Thursday but I leave tomorrow on holiday so cant do my normal friday bit. Im going to Prague, Bratislava, Vienna and Budapest. All in 8 days. Sightseeing i suppose but I hate being considered a tourist. I like to visit all the important places but will try to go off the beaten track too. Certainly the best restaurants and bars are the ones used by the natives althought you have to be a bit careful these days where you go. To be fair it it is no different at home. At night you need to keep to the beaten track. Im really quite excited.  Then I come home and do my parachute jump. Its all go at the moment.

Wecome Jeremy Corbyn, the new leader of the Labour Party. I certainly dont agree with all his policies but there is somehow a refreshing outlook to a politician who appears to be honest and straight forward. There is a naivity about him. He will make a change from the politicians of most parties who appear all the same. They never answer questions properly and avoid the truth like the plague. Oh and they make promises they dont keep. I think young people could be attracted to this new approach as they have been turned off totally by the present Rag, Tag and Bobtails. I can also see him giving the SNP a run for their money in Scotland. Only time will tell but he has to be given a chance to see what he can do.

Women wear red clothes when they want to be seductive. So some survey says. But the most popular colours for men and women is black. Least favourite is yellow followed by green. I’ll be looking our for women in red from now on then.

.Did you know Philip is Greek for horse-lover. Grapples are apples that taste like grapes.

As you probably know I have a dog and I have just found out it is legal in 44 US states to eat dogs and the ancient Romans ate puppies!

Astronaut John Young smuggled a corned beef sandwich into space. Wonder if it was meant to be a peace offering to aliens.

Some local authority this week has banned workers from using endearments like “sweetie” , “love”, “darling” or “handsome” because they are patronising and demeaning. Rubbish. Its not the words it is the way they are said, the tone of the voice used. Yet another over reaction in this over sensitive world.

Just like the family who put a 5ft. 7in Wendy house in their garden without planning permission have to remove it. Apparently 2 neighbours complained. It looked really nice so I can only think the neighbours didnt like children or their children were jealous and wanted one like it. It a crazy world we live in.

Finally my Geordie word of the week is “dunch” which means bump into or collide with and not necessarily Geordie word is “lollop” which means to move in a clumsy way.

My poem this week is attached.                                        DREAMS

FIDDLY FRIDAY

Its Friday again somehow. And fiddly because no matter how I do it changing bedding seems to take ages. I normally have a a fitted sheet but somehow I bought one which is flat and needs to be tucked in securely or I find myself wrapped in it in the morning. But the biggest drag is putting the duvet cover on , or the duvet in its cover. I always seem to get it the wrong way round. I’m still not sure that putting a corner of the duvet in my mouth and climbing into the cover is the best way, in fact Ive just had an inspired idea that I will just sleep inside it to night. I change my bedding every 6 months or so whether it is dirty or not. Is that too much?

This country is going to start naming hurricanes in the same way as other parts of the world alphabetical and boy/girl to alternate. I would suspect my name Derek will not be in the running. For some reason the name is only used in books, TV and film when the character is inadequate, pathetic or a loser. Its not my fault I didnt choose it!

The Tour of Britain cycle race visited my old home town, Blyth in Northumberland this week. Very exciting as nothing ever happens there. It was on TV and my sister and I stood at the side of the road as the riders flashed thro. Couldnt see us but Bruce my dog was very visible. Trust him the showoff.

Sorry but back to the refugee problem. Our prime minister has offered to take 20,000 over the next 5 years which happens to be the same number Germany accepted last weekend! Very generous!!!

A 13 year old girl was sent home from school this week with leopard skin print hair. She had been bullied in the past and this was her way of expressing herself said her 34 year unemployed mother of 6. Her human rights have been breached , she has a right to education says mum. Of course she has pity the mother didnt use her education!

Time for humour. Did you know the BIble is the most shoplifted book in the USA. Some of the dinosaur sounds in the movie Jurassic Park were created using recording of tortoises having sex. (nearly said making love)

That emerging industrial giant, China still has 30 million people living in caves!

Human eyebrows renew themselves every 64 days

Barry Manilows no 1 hit “I write the songs” wasn’t written by him. (him and I have the same birthday but I havent had a facelift or have a nose as big as his)

Finally good for the Queen being on the throne for longer than Queen Victoria. 63 years She is fantastic for 89 years old and I hope she lives a lot longer keeping oddball Prince Charles and Camilla off the throne.

Poem attached                                DESERT

FEEBLE FRIDAY

Feeble is referring to the efforts of our government to help immigrants. David Cameron has announced we will accept Syrian refugees directly from camps in Turkey. A case of two little too late. What about the immigrants already in Europe. Are we not prepared to help them. I have not always liked the Germans but their attitude towards this problem has been excellent. They believe they have a MORAL obligation to help and will accept a large number of Syrians. Does the UK not believe we also have this moral obligation? We of the European countries are taking less immigrants percentage wise than anyone else. Our government claims we are giving more to overseas aid than the rest of Europe put together. But half the time we don’t actually know that it is reaching the people that need that aid. It is hijacked by despots and officials and doesn’t get to those that need it most.

Europe needs to come up with some co-ordinated plan to help those refugees already here and to somehow stop more coming in by solving the reasons they want to leave their countries. Whether we like it or not a lot of the problems were caused by the West interferring in their internal affairs. We invaded Iraq and Afghanistan but didn’t have a cohesive plan for what to do after we withdrew. We left a vacuum which ISIS jumped into. Syria is a religious civil war which has resulted in 4 million refugees so far. I dont know the answers but the West has to get together with some kind of plan for the future. The way my own country is acting by the time  we have a vote whether to stay in or leave Europe, Europe will not want to remain anyway. What a mess.

Humour.  Did you know Martian sunsets are blue? Did you know Mozart was terrified of trumpets?

The “Izikhothane” are a South African gang who meet in car parks, cover themselves in custard and burn wads of money. Well whatever turns you on I suppose.

And did you know people will gamble more if they are holding a crocodidle. Of course they would!!!!!!

My Geordie word this week is “plodge”. It means to to wade up to your knees only in water or mud.

Two words I came across this week which are not particularly Geordie but I haven’t heard for a while are “cods-wallop” meaning someone is talking nonsense and “flummoxed” meaning baffled or puzzled.

I see Kermit has a new girl friend called Denise big almond eyes and red hair. She does look like a pig though. He seems to have a thing about pigs. But to be honest I don’t know what they see in him, he’s not exactly good looking. He must be interesting!

I see they are saying seaweed is good for you. Well the gigantic Autumn tides we have had this week are bringing in huge quantities onto my beach. My dog is always trying to eat it but it makes him sick. I have eaten it in Chinese restaurants and enjoyed it but it looking nothing like the stuff on the beach. Think I’ll give it a miss.

Humorous(I hope) poem this week     WHY