Well i’ve missed a week as i’ve been on holiday and this post you may notice is saturday not friday. Not that many will notice I guess. I have been in Prague, Bratislava, Budapest and Vienna. Amazingly beautiful mid European cities with wonderful buildings and their own unique cultures. Would recommend Prague and Budapest in particular.

Things have not gone well since I have returned. I came home with an injured foot and when you walk a dog for 21/2 hrs a day it is a bit of a handicap. I was supposed to do a parachute jump tomorrow so I have had to postpone that. Apparently landing on one leg is frowned upon!

As I was also walking my daughters dog  this week and it has been simply stunning weather on the beach there were lots of other dogs. Those of you who have dogs will know they always run and poo in opposite directions. When you are limping heavily this is not good! Anyway the doctor doesnt what is wrong with my foot yet. I could just have jarred it badly on the cobbly streets while I was away, it might be gout or arthritis. Gout apparently would be the best choice as they just give you tablets and it goes away.

Todays Geordie word is tippy-tappy, meaning walk as in “walk doon (down) the lonnen (lane)” There I’ve even taught you a sentence.

A word I haven’t heard for a while is “banjaxed”, an originally Irish word meaning tired, drunk, intoxicated, in fact not functioning properly! So at last the Uk citizen held at Guantalamo Bay is being released without charge! It would have been better to have murdered somone he would have been out years ago!

A doctor this week suggested people should be weighed with their luggage when flying. I’m sure that will offend some people but I don’t think it is such a bad idea.

Well there has been another shooting in the States this week. A student at an Oregon college has killed at least 9 fellow students. He had some mental illness issues but held 13 guns legally. There has been  one mass( at least 4 deaths) killing every day so far this year. Is there not a lesson to be learned?

Humour.  George H W Bush wears socks with his own face on. Is that in case he forgets who he is? In Geogian “mama” means father and “deda” means mother. “Gurkentruppe” is German for losers, literally an army of cucumbers. So by losing the war they are all cucumbers! Men with small testicles tend to be better fathers. Don’t know if it also applies to penis’s though!

An elderly couple this week were fined £160 for dropping cherries stones in the park. I have have always thrown away orange peel, apple cores etc in the country as it was organic and helped the soil. Wrong it is litter!

VW have 11million cars worldwide that have installed software that makes their emission figures give false readings. Whoever gave the go ahead for that should be prosecuted for fraud and punished. But, and it’s a big but, have you ever met anyone who has achieved the figures any manufacture claimed? I thought they were all doctored.

Right that’s it for this week. I also broke my mobile phone this week which is going to cost £120 so poem this week reflects my mood.        BATTLEFIELD


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