FALLING FOR FRIDAY

The falling in todays title is referring to my skydive which I did last Sunday. I have done it now but will not be taking it up as a career. It was worth doing but nothing can prepare you for the jump. This was in tandem I would like to stress. They train you but the feeling when you exit the plane and freefall at 130 mph on a November can not be imagined. So you fall for about 30 secs then the parachute opens (that was a bit of a relief) and you literally dangle miles above the countryside. That bit is enjoyable, it is so quiet and the views were just incredible. And then you land on your bottom in a muddy and freezing field. But hey I have done it. For those who have read me before can I stress I,m 70, it was a present for my birthday. I now have to think of new adventures!

Did you see the suit Harry Styles of one direction wore this week. It was by Gucci and cost over £3000. The material lokked like wall paper or what you would cover a sofa with. As far as I’m concerned he won his bet!

Prince Charles stated this week that drought caused by global warning is a cause of terrorism. He’s away with the fairies, wants to keep his mouth shut!

Apparently university students in the UK pay higher fees than anywhere else in the world. Wonder if that is a deliberate policy so the less well off cant go. As 75% of UK judges went to private schools and 74% went to Oxbridge Universities also 75% of QC’s and 55% of solictors went to the same uni’s it may well be so!

A woman this week tried to kill her husband by putting anti-freeze in his lambrini wine. She got 15 years but he should have got time for drinking that shite!!

Postscript to last week that drinking coffee is good for you, it also helps keep weight off after slimming. But, and there always seems to be a but, it gives you mouth ulcers. Knew it was too good to be true.

The woman terrorist in Brussels this week was NOT a suicide bomber she got her head blown off because she was standing too close to the real suicide bomber. So dont lose your head even though those around you have!

HUMOUR.  Hula hoops are not kosher. I read somewhere that the only crisps that are vegetarian are bacon ones. The original Popeye got his strength from rubbing a magic hen. Not quite the same as eating spinach somehow. Croquet was dropped as a  Olympic sport after 1900 because only one spectator turned up to watch.

So Lord Coe decided to relinquish his role with Nike worth £100,000 a year and his sports marketing company will not tender any IAAF work. He is now of course  President of world athletics. He stated “perception and reality have become horribly mangled” Now I’ve always liked Sebastian Coe. Saw him run when he was only 18 and thought he did brilliantly to win the Olympics for London. However he totally supported the previous President who has now been found to have taken bribes. But he is acting either arrogantly or stupidly and needs all the support he can muster to fight the drug prevalent sport he says he loves.

 

 

A FRIDAY FOR FRANCE

I still can’t get over what happened last friday in Paris. It is almost surreal as is fact has overcome fiction.  129 people mainly young went out for a meal, a drink or to watch a pop group and died. Many more injured. How any human being can look another human being in the eye who is unarmed and helpless and murder them is beyond my comprehension. People kill each other in wars. I know civilians die in conflicts but it is the very fact these people were out to have fun gauls me. I think we need to remember this is nothing to do with Islam or Islamics. They are not human , human beings don’t do things like that. The biggest danger now is that we take revenge against the ordinary French, British, American Muslim ,in fact where ever in the west they are. It is not there fault. The best way to overcome is to carry on our normal lives and remain civilised. Always remember these people who have been killed or injured and their families.  Our countries need to have a united front to overcome this evil. But it is never the politicians who actually do it, it the ordinary man in the street. It has to done by the will of the people.

There have been several things in the press health related.

The first is that it is good to drink up to 5 cups of coffee a day. It helps ward off Parkinsons disease  and Type 2 Diabetes. I drink loads of coffee a day.

The next two are really common sense, If you are sleep deprived you lose your sense of humour and if you have a runny nose you become depressed. But it takes a scientist to discover this.

It was very sad to hear of the death this week of a rugby union giant Jonah Lomu. Only 40 this New Zealander was certainly the most awesome of sights in full flow. An 18st 6ft 5inch man who was a world class sprinter. How do you stop someone like that? The answer. You can’t.

The Oxford Dictionary  made “The yellow smiley face” word of the year. Bravo!!!!!

A scientist is calling for a “bedtime mode” for phones, tablets etc so people can get a good nights sleep. I’ve got a brilliant idea. Why not switch it off?

To return to Islam briefly. I was defriended this week when somone showed a video of “United UK” a video explaining why most of Europe will be Islamic states including Britain in the next 25 years. It was based on the premise that Muslims have 8 children and the current European family having 1.8 kids. There will thus be more muslims than others in 2040. I suggested these projected figures were somewhat  speculative. He gave me abuse and defriended me. The only good thing about him was he had a Labrador!

Humour. 1 in 5 British children think fish fingers are made of chicken. Before fridges were invented, Russians and Finns kept their milk fresh by putting live frogs in it! The first “jerky” was called “charqui” and was made from llama.

Just bear in mind vaccinations don’t work on octopuses.

Two final things. Apparently it’s been too windy this week for wind turbines so they have been switched off.

Lastly a 7-year old blind girl has been banned from taking her white stick to school as it might trip up other kids and teachers. Staff have advised her to get around with the aid of an adult or to walk more carefully using hand rails. Idiots.

I haven’t added a poem this week as format has been changed and I cant figure out how to attach the poem. Hopefully normal service will be resumed next week!

 

 

NO IT’S NOT FRIDAY

I normally just blog on Fridays but can’t wait until next friday to comment on whats happened in Paris.

What religion believes going out with kalashnikovs and grenades and killing innocent random people in bars, restaurants and pop concerts make people believe in their cause? That’s right none. These killers are not religious. They do not believe in Islam. Islam is a peaceful religion. They are animals. It is not a coincidence that the war in Iraq is starting to go against them. They want Europe to react against them and further alienate the dissaffected Muslims. We  must not let the right wing extremists take the opportunity to play on the fear of the ordinary citizens.

The tragedy is that this could have been any European city. We need to stand together more than ever. Unity is our greatest strength. The West needs to get together with Russia , China and the rest of the world in a properly considered way and fight this common enemy.

In the mean time our thoughts go out to the deceased, their friends and family and the whole of France. I’m in shock for them. Vive La France. The British stand beside them.

A FREEZING FRIDAY

Yes it’s colder now. Snow in some places(not here yet) but a freezing wind on the beach today. But when you walk a dog everyday all you do is increase the amount of clothing you wear and proper waterproofs if necessary. I suppose you get used to it. The dogs don’t care what the weather is like. Mine still swims in winter. But labradors did originally come from Canada and were used by fishermen to retrieve their nets. So the North east of England is relatively warm!!

It is claimed in the newspapers this week that a warped sense of humour could be a sign of dementia. Well that’s me gone then!

Who believes a painting like the”Reclining Nude” by Mogdigliani is worth £113 Million. Not me I’m afraid. In fact it’s obscene.

It’s been a good week generally, Drugs in athletics (apparently it was the norm in Russia)and lots of other countries too. Bribery rife in World and European football. Will it all change? There will be be lots of talking and enquiries and committees formed. But at the end of the day when money is involved it will still go one . Maybe at a reduced scale for a time. The punishments are ridiculously lenient so it appears to be worth the risk.

Well Sweden took in more immigrants last week than the Uk will in the next 5 years. Sorry but I’m ashamed.

I’m backing junior doctors who work the sort of hours no one else would. They have a thing that is none as a vocation. Why should they be paid less for working all those hours. Who else would. certainly not MP’s.

George Osborne said this week rogue bankers should be treated like shoplifters and thrown in jail. Well Mr Osborne I would do the same to politicians!

Apparently Jeremy Corbyn didn’t kneel to the Queen this week. That’s him off the Tower then.

Humour. New buildings in New York must have twice as many toilets as mens. “scatomancy” is telling the future by looking at turds! So does that mean they will say “your going to have a shit future”

A third of British office workers have the same thing for lunch every day!

I America and Europe catering is considered a decent profession. In the UK catering workers tolerate customers. They generally don’t know how to pour beer or have any great knowledge of the wines they sell. Waitresses don’t seem to know much about the meals offered on menus. They are TOLD to ask customers if they enjoyed their food and say “have a nice day” without actually meaning it. Sorry I much prefer to eat and drink in other countries even thought they may speak a foreign language. Is catering just like fruit picking below the the average British worker?

Typical British. When travel agents tried to offer alternative winter sunshine holiday now that Egypt is considered too dangerous they were told “we are not bothered where it is as long as there is a McDonalds there!             Geordie word “gowk”  meaning apple core. And English word “lummox”  meaning clumsy stupid person.

Humorous(I hope you think) poem attached LET BATTLE COMMENCE

FEELING FRIDAYISH

Well , here we are again it’s friday, leaves falling off trees rapidly now, foggy days and receding daylight. Not cold yet but winter is lurking around the corner. If you have a dog you will know how difficult it is to find your dogs poo among all the fallen leaves especially in early mornings and evening twilight. Sometimes I have to give up. Talking about dog poo when I walk my dog on the beach we normally walk along the waters edge. Bruce has got into the habit of pooing in the soft sand at the bottom of cliffs. Fine when it is high tide but when low tides he makes me walk up to 1/4 of a mile to reach the poo. He even did one half way up the cliff last week. I always pick up his poo but if you dont and you are caught you receive a fine. But I draw the line at having to mountain-climb to reach poo. By far the majority of dog owners will pick up poo but there some that dont who give the rest of us a bad name. They even go to the length of putting the poo in a bag then leaving the bag on a wall or hanging up a tree, What kind of people do that?????? But i did receive a terrific compliment from a young woman who had her young daughter with her this week. I picked up some poo from the beach some dog owner had left plus some full discarded bags. The lady told her daughter I was the POO FAIRY. Some accolade!

Enough poo for one week. Humour. In 2013 police in the Maldives arrested a coconut on suspicion of vote rigging. Eh!!!!!

For the last 3 months of his life US President James Garfield had to be fed everything through his anus (arse to you) Previous to that he talked through it!

William Buckland was expelled from the shrine of St. Rosalia, patron saint of Palermo, Sicily, for pointing out that her bones were those of a goat.

Positive stories this week. The New Zealand rugby player who gave away his Rugby World Cup winners medal to a young fan who ran onto the pitch. Well done to him and also to the losing Aussie captain who said the best team won and meant it.

There is a lot of starvation in the world, right. So how can we in the UK bury 20 tons of parsnips each week because they are the wrong shape to sell in supermarkets. Madness

Another week for the Queen to receive the latest despot who is accused of appalling civil rights and election rigging. Step forward the President of Kasakistan, wherever that is! But wait they have lots of oil and are going to give us 40 trade deals worth £3 billion. He is also a mate of Prince Andrew.

Why do we want to trade with these oppressive regimes. Why not trade with Europe, oh, sorry I forgot we will be coming out of the EEC soon so we need any friends dubious or not.

Todays Geordie word is “marra” meaning friend or mate and general English word is “hefty” meaning large.

And so it is time to go Au revoir.       Poem attached  THOSE TURNING POINTS IN TIME