FEATURING FRIDAY

Glad to be inside after fighting gale force winds with apparently stronger winds to come. It’s the aftermath of the storms they’ve had in USA. all our weather comes from that direction, we just get diluted versions. Although this year in particular lots of water has been picked up from the Atlantic and deposited on us hence all the flooding we have had! Thanks America.

Hero this week is 55 year old James Worsley who died 70 days into his attempt to be the first person to cover the 943 miles across Antartica unaided. There are still adventures left in the world and people prepared to risk their lives attempting them. RIP

Heroine of the week is Johanna Konta, the British tennis player who reached the ladies semi-final in the Australian open this week. She was ranked 151st in April 2015 started the tournament ranked 47th and will end it about 28th. All down to hard work. Good luck in the future. Oh and by the way the BBC decided not to show the tournament live this year. It has been our most successful for nearly 40 years. They decided to show that popular British sport American football instead. The Rose Bowl. Nice one BBC.

Villains of the week. The two 71year old sailors trying to sail across the Atlantic. Since leaving Holland they have been rescued 7 times and have yet to leave England! I think they are being a tad ambitious!

Villainess of the week who tried to claim the lottery prize of £33 million. She produced a ticket she claimed had been in her jeans pocket when she put them thro the washing machine. unfortunately the real winner has now turned. The said claimant is now in hiding!

Hilary Clinton chose Abraham Lincoln as the most successful President ever. Apparently she overlooked husband somehow.

HUMOUR Apparently men who do the dishes get more sex. Does anybody want to buy a dishwasher going cheap?

Birds living in cities start the dawn chorus 5 hours earlier than those in the countryside. Noisy bastards!

Alligators balance twigs on their noses, to lure birds looking for nest building materials. Hope they are birds from the city!

London burnt down in 1077, 1087,1132, 1136,1203,1212,1220 and 1227 as well as 1666. Fire insurance must have been horrendous in those days!

Just 62 people have more than 50% of the world’s population. Absolutely obscene.

Italy has had to cover up nude statues in case they offend the visiting President of Iran.

A lifeboat was called out this week to pull a dead body out of the water. However it was a blow up doll sex aid. Wonder where that ended up?

We sell a huge amount of armaments to Saudi Arabia who use them to bomb civilians in the Yemen. Is that’s what is known as turning a blind eye?

Because of the pricing of rail fares in this country it is cheaper to fly from Newcastle to London (300miles) via Barcelona, Spain than it is to take the train direct. Madness.

Finally there has been controversy this week of some mothers in Darlington taking their kids to school in P.J.s (the mothers not the kids) As long as the kids get to school on time it doesn’t really matter. However you would have thought from a  personal pride point of view and not to embarrass your kids you would have dressed suitably. it’s not as if 9-00 is the crack of dawn!

Poem this week attached.                    A STORY TO TELL

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