FONDLY FRIDAY

Fondly I suppose because I like the feeling every Friday of writing my blog. I write poetry and short stories and there is a constraint in that you need to use the right words, use proper pronunciation and be precise. To me my blog is like a conversation. You say what you feel. If wrong words come out , they come out , you don’t apologise all the time and say you meant something else. When I type it stays the same, I don’t check my spelling or pronunciation. Once the words are on the page they stay there. I have no control of who reads my thoughts. If you like them you come back. If you don’t like I will probably never see you again. I really don’t mind as I’m only writing for myself. Self-indulgent I suppose but thats what blogs are for. Anyway enough of that crap down to business.

This country is endeavouring to tear itself apart over to leave Europe or not. Either side is coming up with facts and figures which are subsequently disputed by the other side. But nobody knows the truth they are just guessing!

This country has never been very good teaching foreign languages. Over 50 ago when I went to school languages were commenced at 11. It is still the same now. We should be teaching them at 5/6 years old before children become self-conscious. There is ans assumption in this country that everyone should be able to speak english.

Being in Europe to me is not just language. it is financial , cultural, travelling thro. open borders., arts and security. We are better together. But there are a large number of people in the UK who think we are better off on our own. To me the question on the referendum paper should be . If you don’t like foreigners especially the ones that want to live here vote no. Thats the real nitty-gritty. A lot of Brits think the rest of the world should be beholding to us because of what we did in the past centuries ago!!!!!!

HUMOUR Napoleon, Mussolini and Hitler were all scared of cats. I’ve just had a thought, what about Putin, Assad of Syria, The ISIS mob and him from North Korea.

In fact what about Donald Trump. Does he like cats.

Dublin is home to Ireland’s National Leprechaun Museum. I didn’t think they were real!

88% of women routinely wear shoes that are too small for their feet.

In 1967, Picoaza,Ecuador elected a brand of foot deodorant as the towns major. Certainly a lot more useful than the Major of North Tyneside!!!!!

Apparently we check our phones 253 times a day. I don’t probably because I lost it in Spain last week-end!

A pastor , 73 has just been arrested this week for spanking naked women to cast out evil spirits. I tried that once but it didn’t work!

In dec 2014 we had 45, 325k on the electoral list and 44,722k in dec 2015 a reduction of 600k and they don’t know why. This government will do anything to reduce immigration figures.

Poetry, hopefully a cheerful little number       JOURNEY

 

 

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FIESTA FRIDAY

Fiesta because I’m off to Valencia this morning at the crack of dawn. Valencia is a beautiful city , have been before. One of the friends I’m going with lived in Spain for a year and had a season ticket with one of the local football teams, Valente. We are going to see them play a team from Madrid , Getafe. Considering Valente are bottom of the league we haven’t got a great deal of hope that they’ll win. But considering my team Newcastle being 3rd bottom in the Premiership I’m used to supporting the losing side. I’ve always claimed losing makes you a better person but that would make me a saint by now.

UK are doing very well in the music field at the moment. we have half of the most popular acts in the world. Adele, Ed Sheeran, One Direction, Cold play and Sam Smith. Adele in particular is a worldwide success. Her single Hullo topped the charts in 30 countries and her album has sold 15 million copies since November.

The north -east of England has the highest unemployment figures in England. So an extra £300 million distributed to English local authorities  is distributed as follows:- 83% to conservative authorities and the rest to others. Quite a lot to outer London conservative authorities. And to the North East , supposed to be part of the Northern powerhouse. Nil pounds. Quelle surprise!

In one of the mainstream English papers this week Piers Morgan interviewed Donald Trump. Thats as near as you ever get to a reflection in a mirror. Both of the them are egotistical, arrogant and believe themselves to be really handsome individuals. Might just give that article a miss.

A new play is opening in Manchester portraying Jesus as transgender who calls his father (God) mummy. Now I’m not religious but is this not going a bit too far. Or is it just me being old- fashioned and out of touch?

Stephen Fry called a lady who won an award at the Baftas this week a “bag-lady” because of the way she was dressed. He was heavily criticized on twitter and replied with an obscenity laced reply justifying his actions. He has now left twitter (for the 3rd time by the way) No big miss! But the trouble is people like him need to be adored by the public so unfortunately he will be back soon.

Humour. In Greece between 1920 and 1983 leprosy was grounds for divorce. That was a bit harsh!

The oldest person in the world dies, on average, every 8 months. They must get sick of being resusitated.

Clams can live for more than 400 years. Not on my beach they don’t.

It is illegal in Vancouver to build a new house with door knobs.

Alan Johnson , a £60k a week Sunderland footballer was sacked for indecent behaviour with a 15 year old. Apparently he forgot his live-in partner had given birth to his baby a couple of weeks before. He should go to prison for arrogance if nothing else.

Poem is attached. Adios amigos.                                                               KNOWLEDGE

 

 

 

FROSTY FRIDAY

This has been a week of beautiful winter weather. Very cold, frosty some mornings but bright sunshine all day and pretty light winds. It has been a pleasure to walk on the beach with the dog. Have you ever noticed how much happier people are when its sunny. They are more cheerful and stop to talk more readily.

It has been a funny week for news this week. Good and bad.

Hero of the week was RSPCA inspector Mike Reid who died trying to save injured birds from rough seas off the Cornish coast. A brave man who thought more of the birds than his own safety. RIP

Idiot of the week was a woman also on the Cornish coast at Newquay who was taking photos of huge waves hitting the quayside. She was hit by one off the said waves and was washed into the sea. She was saved by the RNLI who had to risk their lives. She only had a broken arm. Those of us who live on the coast know the power of the sea. But it obvious these huge waves are dangerous!

A ten foot wide house in East Dulwich, London sold for 800K this week. You could buy a FOURTEEN bedroom country house hotel for the same price in the north of Scotland. I know what I would rather have.

It has taken 100 years but Einstein has been proved right about gravitational waves.Scientists have proved the existance of black holes. But the thing that amazed me the most is that they can now measure the distance to somewhere like the sun to the nearest atom. That is to the nearest fraction of a millimetre . There 25 millimetres to the inch. That is just scary.

Humour. Pee Cola is a popular drink in Ghana and in China, Burger King sells PooPoo Smoothies.

The world’s largest and most complete Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton is called Sue. That’s a coincidence so was my ex-wife!

Britain’s largest pig is called Boris. He contains enough pork to make 6,000 sausages.

Finally on the 28th June 2009 Stephen Hawkins hosted a party for time travellers from the future.Surprisingly nobody turned up!

A NHS trust Chairman this week was sacked for calling a female NHS manager a whore after she rejected his sexual advances.He was suspended on full pay pending an investigation. He was found guilty but had received £165,000. The lady was awarded £832,000 damages. The whole case cost the rate payer (us) £1.5 million . What a joke!

Well I called Donald Trump a joke last week well he clearly isn’t this week. And Hilary Clinton was absolutely thrashed. Are they flash in the pan results or is this the way the votes are going to go. Interesting times.

Some good news this week was that scientists are now saying life expectancy for men is now 84. So there is loads of life left in the old dog!  But my area of England the North-East has the least!

I refuse to say anything about Jeremy Hunt, the Health Minister. Rhyming slang will surfice.

Lastly I will leave you with a Geordie food called “singing hinnies”, a type of fruit griddle cakes.

Poem this week is thought-provoking”                                       BLURRING AT THE EDGES

 

FREQUENTLY FRIDAY

Had news that upset my equilibrium this week. A neighbour died of cancer this week. She was in her late forties. The thing was her husband died 3 years ago of a brain haemorrhage. She had cancer which she seemed to have recovered from but then she got a totally unrelated cancer and died. She left a 9 year little girl. Her mother have been living with her for the last year or so but because of their age can’t look after the little girl. She is being adopted by the mother’s friend who apparently couldn’t have children. When you life is going along ok yo tend top be self centred but this just showed how lucky we at times. Don’t get me wrong I have had several major set backs in life. Divorce, death of my son aged 18 and cancer to name a few. but things were going along ok now. My daughter is happily married and I have a 2 year grandchild who is wonderful. We always have to look to the future because we just don’t know what might happen tomorrow.

Terry Wogan died this week and he appears to have been a thoroughly genuine man. He treated everybody the same from the humble doorman to royalty . He had time for everyone. He had the ability especially on radio to make you think he was only talking to you alone. The best accolade I heard about him was he was “A good bloke”

RIP Terry

Robert de Niro appeared in some excellent movies but apparently he has given up acting in the pursuit of money. The Deer Hunter, Raging Bull and the Godfather were all films he received Oscars for. But he really gave up when he appeared in Meet the Fockers and sequel. His new movie Dirty Grandpa is apparently appalling. So RIP Robert de Niro , actor.

Donald Trump got a bit of shock this week. Apparently he hadn’t bought as many votes as he thought he had. But I’m told Ted Cruz is even more right wing than Trump. The only hope is that Marco Rubio makes up some ground. He I,m told is nearly normal. And it doesn’t look as if Hilary is going to get things totally her own way. Good for Adele stopping Trump using her music at his rallies.

We need some humour . Did you know that “the Great Wall of China” was funded by a state lottery?

The Duke of Wellington’s horse, Copenhagan, died from eating too many sponge cakes, bath buns and chocolate creams. And he didn’t clean his teeth properly!

Pandas defecate( shit to you ) 50 times a day . In between they eat bamboo and sleep.

A woman ordered a 26 piece dinner service from M and S. It came in 29 seperate boxes! I couldn’t figure that out either but apparently some of the smaller boxes were then put in a bigger box.

My dog Bruce is called a yellow labrador, but there is no yellow about him . He is a very light sandy colour. Other labs are slightly lighter or darker but not yellow. There isn’t such a thing as a yellow lab. so why call them that?

He sheds a lot of hair all the year round and I fill vacuum cleaners bags in huge numbers. Fortunately the only carpet in my house is the same colour so you can’t see it too much. Also as we go to the beach most days the house is also full of sand. Does anyone know of a use for dog hair and sand. Perhaps they could be used to build temporary accommodation for refugees.

Poem this week is very deep I’m afraid                              HOW