Another week of terrible atrocities, this time in Brussels. You start to ask yourself, is there anywhere safe. I’m of the belief that whatever happens we try to carry out our normal lives. In other words we don’t stop travelling to places like Paris and Brussels. We show solidarity with the people effected. In the Brussels bombings 40 nationalities were either killed or injured. So all these countries should feel revution towards these animals( they are certainly not human) They deliberately place bombs in airports and stations to hurt and kill as many people as possible. These bombs were full of nails and bolts to not just kill but maim as many as possible. Bombs do not discriminate. They kill and injure children, women and all religions including Islam which I presume the bombers were. So they are quite happy to kill their own. I know people who say we should ban immigration into Europe because of this. Idiots! Do they not realise these bombers in Paris or Brussels are French and Belgian nationals!!!! So it is a case of the enemy within. I certainly don’t claim to know what the answer is but do believe it all starts in the Arab countries. The Israel- Palestine problem, the internal feud withi the Islamic faiths of Shi’as and the Sunnis. The whole Arab area is in chaos. The civil war in Syria has resulted in 500,000 dead and several million refugees. The Russians really helped by just bombing anything that moved. But the West are petrified of Putin. He invaded the Crimea and  occupied parts of the Ukraine then gets involved supporting Assad in Syria. And the West sit on their hands. I fact it it is worse than that.The UK supply weapons and planes to Saudi Arabia who use them against rebels in Yemen.Unfortunately they are not bothered who they kill as thousands of civilians were caught in the middle.Saudi Arabia has an appalling record of human rights. Floggings , beheadings are commonplace. Being gay is illegal and women are not even 2nd class citizens.

But what do all these Arabs countries have? Yes that’s right oil. Hypocrisy at it’s best( or worst)

A British Professional footballer this week , Adam Johnson was sent to prison for 6 years for a relationship with a 15 year old girl.He was guilty of the offences he was s charged with but I think he should also have been charged with arrogance. He was earning £60,000 a week and like a lot of footballers thought he was above the law and could buy his way out of it. I hope he rots away in prison! Somone else I hope rots away was Bosnian Serb leader Radovan Karadzic who got 40 years for crimes against humanity. Now he will rot away as he is 70 now! Excellent.

We need some humour.  In 1922 Ernest Hemingway’s wife lost his entire life’s work by leaving it on a train. I bet she got a row when she got home!!!!!!

In 1989 a Russian psychic was run over and killed while attempting to prove he could stop a train using the power of his mind. He never lived it down!!!!!

ladybirds can fly as fast as a horse can run. So the next time I see a ladybird entered in the 3-15 at Kempton Park I will certainly back it.

It has been proved this week that blondes are actually smarter than woman with other other hair colours. But how do you know if they are a real blonde?

Poem attached this week is hopefully humorous.                                             THAT’S LIFE

While I remember Johan Cruyff died this week. He was one of the best footballers I have ever seen. Rest in Peace



Back to my Friday slot the fog on my coast, the North -East of England has peristed most of this week. Other parts of the country have enjoyed good weather but our coast line has reverted to a quite frequent pattern of a black cloud over my stretch of coast resulting in temperatures 10 degrees less than other parts of the Uk. But we are a hardy lot here and we are used to it. I will reiterate that we have the most magnificent beaches and the most ancient castles of any county in the uk. But the beaches are not for lying on (they are occasionally, probably about half a dozen times a year) They are for bracing walks especially with hang-overs or to walk dogs. I admit to falling into both categories. But with large dogs you endure the weather whatever it is like. As someone said “it is not the weather that is the problem it is inappropriate clothing” My dog swims everyday , I don’t, it would kill me I expect but there is a swimming club that does swim every day of the year in Whitley Bay . They must be mad.

I know I go on about Donald Trump a lot but there is a British equivalent, Boris Johnson who is equally contraversial in this country. He has equally silly hair. Boris’s is however wild , white and surprisingly, natural. Boris has ambitions of being our Prime Minister. The only thing I can ask at this point is that would Donald Trump be the first orange president?

The big dog show, Crufts is over for another year. It was won this year by a West Highland White terrier which appeared to be a fairly normal dog.  It’s owner said it ran in the fields and got dirty just like normal dogs. It came from this part of the country and was called Burneze Geordie Girl which probably explained it! Two runners up were a Pekinese dog that looked like a mop and a deformed German Shepherd. These were both dogs by the way!!!!!

Humour.bananas are used are used to make kimonos (how I don’t know!)

Eating 20 million bananas would give you a fatal dose of radioactivity!

Bananas are considered unlucky on fishing boats.

And finally in 2009, a search of Loch Ness for the Loch Ness monster located 100,000 golf balls. Quite strange really as there are no adjacent golf courses!!!!!!!

This world is becoming crazier by the day. A Chinese scientist claims he is months away from being able to transplant a head onto a human body. That’s absolutely frightening.

Have you seen the new passenger liner, Harmony of the Seas. It will hold 6000 passengers, have 3100 crew weight 227,000 tons and be able to do 22 knots. It is higher than the Eiffel Tower. Will it not fall over when it’s windy?

Please find poem attached. It’s meant to be humourous.               A UGLY BUG,S BALL



Fraudulently because it is Sunday not Friday. Have been away in the Lake District so I’m just catching up on correspondence. The weather here is spring-like so ok it is still early in the year but the winter may be almost over. We can still have snow or icy mornings but the sun has now sufficient power to warm things up. The thing I find more positive than the improving weather is that we have more daylight. I can now walk my dog on the fields near me both in the morning and evening as it is now light enough. I find I’m more effected by lack of daylight than bad weather in the winter.  Extended darkness is just so depressing.

Interesting happenings this week. A woman killed her husband then kept him under her bed for 18 years. He wasn’t found until she died. How gruesome is that!

An 82 year old woman knocked down and killed a pedestrian on her way for an eye test.

A 29year old Ford Capri was sold for £54,000 this week. It had done less than a 1000 miles in that time.

The average couples bicker in the bedroom 167 times in a year. The main reasons are who has the greater share of the duvet, snoring and being too hot or cold. No mention of headaches or sex then? That’s a surprise.

Well Donald Trump keep marches on, is there no stopping him. He must now be a certainty for the Republican nomination. But can Hilary Clinton stop him reaching the White House. If not I’m just interested to see how him and Putin will get on. Possibly arm wrestling to the death!

So Turkey is now in charge of Europe@s future. 80 million Turks will be able to move freely thro Europe when they are allowed to join the EEC. The regime have just closed the largest newspaper down as they oppose the government. Their application was rejected 10 years ago for lack of freedom of speech. But we now want to pay them to handle the flow of immigrants so all is forgiven. Hypocrites!!!!!!!

Humour. In 2006, the most popular name for cows in Switzerland was Fiona. I know several Fionas and they won’t be pleased!!! A cow with a name will produce 450 more pints of milk a year than one without a name.

The Spanish for “when pigs fly” is “when hens piss”

German mothers-to-be have “roast dinners” not “buns in the oven”.

Sad news that George Martin the music producer for the Beatles and many other pop stars died this week. The Beatles were geniuses in their own right but he actually enhanced their music. He wasn’t even a pop fan, he preferred classical, jazz, swing but he blended all his musical knowledge with their writing abilities and produced music that will be the classical music of the future. He also adapted Elton Johns “Candle in the Wind” for Princess Diana’s funeral which is the world’s best ever selling record.

Also Keith Emerson of Nice and Emerson, Lakes and Palmer died this week. Another great musician.

Poem attached as usual.LOOKING TO THE FUTURE



Hi today is fishy because I have been down to the  quay at North Shields to purchase a large box of fresh haddock. As I have endlessly stated I live on the coast and there is an abundance of fish, crabs, prawns lobster mussels available. Bought directly from the quayside it’s really good value.

Loved some of Mark Rubio jokes about Donald Trump this week. His plane will be known as Hair Force One and he’s guilty of the worst spray tan in America .Who wants to be orange?

There has been a 3 year enquiry re hundreds of deaths at a Staffordshire hospital. it has concluded no one individual is guilty of any misdemeanour. So I can only conclude they were ALL guilty. Of course they weren’t , but it it is fair to say the various managers are guilty because they are paid higher salaries to accept the responsibility of things going wrong. In other words the enquiry was a waste of time! What a surprise and what do the relatives of those who died unnecessarily think?

Apparently the surname Cameron means “crooked mouth”. I rest my case.

The patron saint of England St. George is also the patron saint of leprosy and syphilis. . Thank God I was born in Scotland.

The largest bra size is 48V. That seems quite big to me but possibly because I didn’t realise whales have breasts!!!

Kristin Scott Thomas, the actress said last week she was ashamed of the modern British woman. Who wear fake tan , normally Trump orange, short skirts and low cut tops and fall down drunk even when temperatures are below zero. She must have been to the Bigg Market in Newcastle cos thats what they look like all of the time!

Tragedy of the week. 88year old Olive Stephens was knocked down and killed by her own car when a bin-man tried to help her by moving her car past his bin lorry in a country lane.

Humour – the annual awards ceremony of the UK porn industry is called the SHAFTAs.

Rats get more depressed in summer than in winter.

In 1986 Michael Foot , the Labour opposition leader at the time was appointed as chairman of a disarmament committee The Times had a headline of :- “Foot Heads Arms Body”

When Canada’s Northern Territories were divided in two in 1999 , people voted to keep the old name. The runner up was “Bob”

There are rumours of even greater cuts in the the next budget. No surprise there. The M.P.s are raising their own salaries this year . And no surprise there either. Greedy bastards.

Woman who avoid the sun or wore sunscreen can look 20 years younger than those who are sun worshippers. Or you could move to the North -East of England where the sun doesn’t shine too often!

Good news Oscar Pistorius wasn’t allowed to appeal against his 15 year sentence fo murdering his girl friend.

Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdoch, 84 got married today . Hope they have a long and fruitful marriage and are blessed with lots of kids. Sorry you can’t have kids in your 60’s can you. Forgot.

Poem this week is attached.                                                EQUALITY