Back to my Friday slot the fog on my coast, the North -East of England has peristed most of this week. Other parts of the country have enjoyed good weather but our coast line has reverted to a quite frequent pattern of a black cloud over my stretch of coast resulting in temperatures 10 degrees less than other parts of the Uk. But we are a hardy lot here and we are used to it. I will reiterate that we have the most magnificent beaches and the most ancient castles of any county in the uk. But the beaches are not for lying on (they are occasionally, probably about half a dozen times a year) They are for bracing walks especially with hang-overs or to walk dogs. I admit to falling into both categories. But with large dogs you endure the weather whatever it is like. As someone said “it is not the weather that is the problem it is inappropriate clothing” My dog swims everyday , I don’t, it would kill me I expect but there is a swimming club that does swim every day of the year in Whitley Bay . They must be mad.

I know I go on about Donald Trump a lot but there is a British equivalent, Boris Johnson who is equally contraversial in this country. He has equally silly hair. Boris’s is however wild , white and surprisingly, natural. Boris has ambitions of being our Prime Minister. The only thing I can ask at this point is that would Donald Trump be the first orange president?

The big dog show, Crufts is over for another year. It was won this year by a West Highland White terrier which appeared to be a fairly normal dog.  It’s owner said it ran in the fields and got dirty just like normal dogs. It came from this part of the country and was called Burneze Geordie Girl which probably explained it! Two runners up were a Pekinese dog that looked like a mop and a deformed German Shepherd. These were both dogs by the way!!!!!

Humour.bananas are used are used to make kimonos (how I don’t know!)

Eating 20 million bananas would give you a fatal dose of radioactivity!

Bananas are considered unlucky on fishing boats.

And finally in 2009, a search of Loch Ness for the Loch Ness monster located 100,000 golf balls. Quite strange really as there are no adjacent golf courses!!!!!!!

This world is becoming crazier by the day. A Chinese scientist claims he is months away from being able to transplant a head onto a human body. That’s absolutely frightening.

Have you seen the new passenger liner, Harmony of the Seas. It will hold 6000 passengers, have 3100 crew weight 227,000 tons and be able to do 22 knots. It is higher than the Eiffel Tower. Will it not fall over when it’s windy?

Please find poem attached. It’s meant to be humourous.               A UGLY BUG,S BALL


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