FLIPPING FREEZING FRIDAY

Well here I am again after missing two weeks. I’ve been on holiday on the Island of Skye off the west coast of Scotland. The scenery is totally spectacular and the weather was pretty good. Cold but sunny. Lived in a holiday cottage for a week with panoramic views over the lochs and sea to the mainland. The most amazing thing about the view was it  changed constantly. One minute it was bright and sunny , the next mist descended and the colours of the mountains and water changed. the friend I was with was trying to paint but found it almost impossible. It was just spectacular. My dog Bruce loved the wide open spaces and swam in the sea, loches and freezing streams. couldn’t keep him out of the water.

On arriving home the weather this week has been incredible. Heavy snow, hailstones, frosts and quite warm sunshine at times but a North wind direct from the Arctic. And by the way it would be sunny when I set out for the beach and ten minutes later it was a black sky and a snow storm. It is May day next week!!!!

Sad to hear Prince died last week. They don’t know how he died yet no doubt it will come out soon. Again he wasn’t my favourite  artist but he did make some excellent music for himself and others. Rip Prince.

Something I always thought was the case is that scientists have stated when you are over 50 time seems to pass more quickly. Apparently it is because as we get older we want to pack more into the life we have left, as to to when you are younger you think you have plenty of time to do things.

Humour. In Bolivia llama dropping are used to purify water. Ugh!

People who kiss their dogs have lower blood pressure than those who don’t. They also bark more!

A baby porcupine is called a porculette. Well it would be wouldn’t it.

Lenin owned 9 Rolls- Royces. Now that’s the equality of communism for you!

A homesick sheepdog who had been sold to a new owner in Cumbria made it’s way back to Wales 240 miles away in 12 days. How can it do that. Some women of my experience even with maps, gps and sat-nav’s might struggle to do that! Just a little joke ladies!

Eddie the Eagle became famous as a hopeless ski-jumper. He didn’t really jump he more fell off the end of the platform. He was always last. I’m not questioning his bravery but he is now having a film made about his exploits. He is being rewarded for bing a failure. same as bankers then!

The Law is an ass. A man who was found guilty of sexual offences against a woman was given a 12 n month suspended sentence  and a 3 month curfew. But the curfew  is being lifted for a week so he can attend Glastonbury Music Festival.

You can now buy trainers in various animal skins for £20k. Do they make you run and jump better do you think?

Poem. I have attempted to write a poem about Skye.                A SCOTTISH ISLE

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FORWARD, IT’S FRIDAY

Yes, I’ve managed to get to Friday despite feeling under the weather. Nothing earth-shattering just persistent sore throat, cough, chesty, achey- painy. But so have most of my family and friends. You tell them you’re not feeling that good and they reply- Oh, yes I have that (or had that) It lasts several weeks. Thanks for that!!!!!

On the beach front weather is not really spring like , cold , heavy showers but some sun shine. Pretty standard North-East weather, a bit of everything. But very low tides which allows Bruce and I to walk on the rocks.

This Panama papers scandal is a bit strange really . I think everybody knew that the richer you are the less tax you pay. You can afford to pay for the best financial advice which involves off-shore a/c’s. Politicians , despots, celebrities, companies they are all at it. They argue it is not illegal. It is avoidance not evasion. But the fact is , it is morally wrong! Ordinary workers pay their dues and get on with life. The rich get richer at their expense. but let’s face it that’s the way it always has been and will continue to be so. Those at the top look out for each other at the end of the day. They are hypocrites.

I don’t believe the Palestinians get a fair deal in life. There now seems to be a lobby in this country if you are of that opinion you are anti-semetic. Well I’m not but the western world seems to favour Israel somewhat. It can’t be because they are are so influential in the banking and financial sector surely!

So Vernon Kay is sexting a glamour model again after being caught out by his wife before. He hasn’t met her so he believes he hasn’t done anything wrong. If he hadn’t been caught out he would certainly have met her AND had sex with her. If Tessa Daly thinks anything different she is mad. He is being unfaithful!!!!!

A lady was so desperate to have a child when a sperm donor said he would only donate with sexual contact she agreed. So this man had sex and got paid for it. Nice work if you can get it.

What about the 55 year old woman who has had triplets by her 40 year old partner. They paid £25 k for IVF treatment but because of her age there were complications and she neede several weeks treatment on the NHS. I don’t see why the tax payer should suffer. Having a baby at that age is unnatural!!!!

Humour. New research shows that, for luxury brands, the ruder the sales staff the higher the sales.

Termites like the smell of biro ink!

In 2012 the New Zealand government took legal action against a couple calling their child Anal.

In Singapore it is illegal to use a public toilet and not flush it.

The UK spent £12.2 billion last year on overseas aid and even managed to overspend £172 million. Now I believe in helping other countries less well off. But we don’t actually know where the money goes to. We give it to governments and half the time it goes into the politicians pockets. We should be carrying out projects ourselves to help rather just handing over cash!

Poem this week is just a peice of nonsense!                      SURREALITY

 

 

FORESTRY FRIDAY

Today and not before time I may add, I have a surgeon in to operate on the trees in my garden. A small garden but one which had become overgrown. Whilst the only fatality was a rather large conifer, my birch and holly trees have been decimated. Buddleias and lilac and other unknown species (to me anyway) were injured but not totally mutilated. My tree surgeon assures me they will all regenerate so their sacrifice to allow the sun to penetrate the garden will not be in vain. I am delighted and the lawn which didn’t actually have any sunshine for 6 months of the year, now might become like a golf course green(in time)

Ronnie Corbett a delightfully old fashioned comedian died this week. Whilst he had a long and fruitful life (he was 85) he was still funny. His type of humour was timeless. But what I really liked was everyone who knew him said he was a really nice man. I dont really like the word nice but in context it seems to sum him up. Goodbye Ronnie and thanks for the memories.

Margaret Thatcher, a lot of years ago now decided the trade unions in the UK were too strong so to reduce their power she decided to destroy the industries where they were stongest. So she started the decline of shipbuilding and mining . These industries are now almost defunct. Then there was the loss making car industry. Whilst we still are capable of making cars in this country we now don’t own them. This the list of manufacturers and the country who owns them:-

Toyota- Japan.

Honda-Japan

Nissan- Japan

Rolls- Royce/Mini- Germany.

MG-China.

Vauxhall-USA

Land Rover/ Jaguar-India

Bentley-Germany.

Then Margaret Thatcher decided to privatise our utilities so they were floated on the stock market and are now owned by Chinese, French, Canadian, Usa companies. British Rail was floated and is just such a mess I dont actually know who owns it.

So this week a decision this week was made (in India of course ) to sell off and mainly close the steel industry. So David Cameron can then complete the job of getting rid of most the manufacturing base of this country. BRAVO!

 

After that I need some humour!  Did you know pigs orgasms last 30 minutes and lions mate up to 50 times a day. Now if you crossed them you would make some sex machine!

The oldest person in history smoked for 96 years. Wonder what he died of?

78% of Bulgarians never do any exercise. Lazy bastards!

90% of Briton eat pizza at least once a week. Greedy bastards!

71% of Oscar-winners tears have been shed since 1995. Sad bastards!

A “lully-prigger” was an 18th century thief who caught children and stole their clothing. They wouldnt be called lully-priggers now!

George Osborne keeps using the term “Northern Powerhouse” so why dont they build HS3 (Manchester to Leeds) rather than HS2 (London to Manchester) railway lines. Not that it will happen in my life time and will we be making any steel then?

Apparently the NHS increased the numbers of managers since 2014 by 6.5% but nurses by 0.5%. Well there’s a surprise!

Oreo production in the US is to be switched to Mexico. How will they get them over the wall?

Poem attached.                                                             TOMORROWS GONE