For about the first time this year I can say it is a beautiful sunny day! It really is but I have got wet twice today out walking the dog. Just sudden heavy showers but at least it is now warm enough that you dry quickly. But like a true Brit we always complain about our weather and we have had a period of lack of any heavy rain so the fields are showing cracks and the gardens need watering! It has been a difficult week, I lost all my keys and searched high and low in my house without success ( I did find a lot of things I’d mislayed however) So I got a new set cut from my daughters set and within 2 hrs someone had found my original set somewhere down my street. Then I scraped the car to avoid a bus and finally my dog hurt another dog on the beach and I have vets bills to pay. My dog is not aggressive, he just tried to mount this other dog. And because the other dog was old(13) and a lot smaller Bruce hurt him. Bruce has been castrated but it doesnt stop them trying to mount other dogs.Also other dogs try to mount him all the time. It just one of those things on the beach.

People in this country know most of the press is right-wing so it does not come as a surprise that the Daily Mail (which is ulra right-wing) is complaining about the appointment of the new ITV is a woman, is left-wing, has no experience of journalism is an economics graduate from UCL, did a business degree in America, oh and by the way is Jewish and attractive. She sounds perfect to me!

So Muirfield golf course in Edinburgh will not host the golf Open championship any more. They didn’t get the required majority to allow women to join the club so are off the list. Have these guys not got wives I wonder what they think of their husbands views. Pathetic men!

Humour -Every leech has 18 testicles and two ovaries- a load of balls in my opinion!

Fruit flies take their time over difficult decisions, they would make good politicians then

The Dutch Crown jewels are made of fake pearls, fish scales and coloured foil. I wonder if ours have been checked recently?

St. George is the patron saint of England, leprosy and syphilis. EH?

Stella McCartney, daughter of Paul the Beatle is a fashion designer. Her clothes are very expensive. I certainly dont consider myself an expert on fashion but anyone sgree that her clothes are actually hideous. They do nothing for the wearer!

Ukraine won the Eurovision song contest with a happy little ditty about Stalin deporting Crimean Tartars in World War ll (They were later slaughtered) Runners up were Australia(how did they get in?) and Russia. Uk were third last 24th out of 26. It not because we produce worse songs than everybody else because most are bad anyway it is because not many countries actually like the British.

Sorry a little bit of politics, MP’s expenses went up 40% in 5 years. Why would anyone be surprised everyone knows they are a set of greedy bastards!!!!!

Apparently this country will be a nation of driverless cars in 4 years. Good job I’ve got a bus pass (it doesnt include buses does it?)

This week for a change it is some flash fiction. Hope you like it.PUNISHMENT TO FIT THE CRIME







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