FAST FORWARD TO FRIDAY

To those of you who read my rant last week, thanks. For those that said you liked it you deserve a frying pan as big as a medal, sic. For those that didn’t read it, I dont blame you. I do promise I wont rant again (well perhaps for several weeks or I might just have mini rants in future.

On my walk on the beach recently I have been thinking about more mundane things.

For example what has happened to the art of whistling. When I was young people like the postman, window cleaner, paper boy and tradesmen like joiners, electicians all whistled. Why dont they now. It was seen to be the act of someone was happy, content with life. I put it on a par with pipe -smokers who always seemed to be very laid back. My Dad smoked a pipe all his life and just seemed so relaxed.

PS I can still whistle all sorts of tunes and also I  whistle for my dog. To be fair he just totally ignores me!

The next thing is while I was contemplating my navel I wondered why the fluff in your belly button is always a bluey grey. I live alone and most of my clothes aren’t those colours.

Also what is the difference between a shed and a hut?

In a moment of greater sense I just thought how much I enjoy drinking coffee. Dont get me wrong I love beer especially real ale and wine in particular red. I dont drink tea at all, I just find it too insipid but I drink strong instant coffee. I have got a perculator but I found if I left it on all day I could not stop drinking the coffee. But now I drink strong instant. The two best times I find are the morning cup after breakfast while reading the morning paper and the cup after dinner in the evening. I think i need one now come to think of it.

My local police force are complaining that they are receiving far too many frivolous calls on the non emergency line. Examples are, man complaining that his girl friend was over feeding their pet hamster and it was as fat as a pig. Another called to say she had been sold an over spiced hamburger and a guy who had tied his finger to his overflowing toilet with a shoe lace. They were also asked to come out and catch a spider, a woman complained she had been overcharged at the supermarket and someone reported an over amorous dog.

Humour Accents in Britain change noticeably every 25 miles.

If you tickle a rat every day, it’ll start laughing as soon as it sees you.

Goats can’t cry.

During world war 2 Lucozade was made from conkers (horse chestnuts)

Ok I’m going to finish with politics. Sorry.

Ten of the Ryder cup golfers support Donald Trump.

A thumbnail sketch of the political scene in the UK

Tories- Teresa May, PM and Philip Hammond, Chancellor have adopted a new policy to be so boring nobody will listen to them.At their recent conference they promised the earth.Easy when there is absolutely no opposition to them!

Labour. Jeremy Corbyn, nice enough bloke with very little personality. Has silly policies but it doesn’t really matter when you are unelectable. Has just made Diane Abbot, an ex-lover shadow foreign secretary. She must be good in bed!

Liberal. Irrelevant now. Great opportunity of saying anything as they will not see power again.

UKIP. Nigel Farage’s party. The British Donald Trump. Dangerous but a bit like shark infested waters. You know they are there so dont go in the water.

Green. Good idea!

Poem attached             a-walk-by-the-sea

 

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