FAIRLY FRIDAY

Spring appears to have been sprung in the last week. Flowers have become rampant and ther is now blossom on the trees. It appears I have survived anotther winter. Well not yet quite we can still get snow and ice in April and May but it doesnt last as long. As usual the South of England  has had pretty warm weather up to 18 degrees whilst we on the bit of England that clings to the North Sea have only had up to 13. Warm for us.  I live in the bit of England between Hadrians wall and Scotland which politicians and a lot of people in London think is Scotland. Unfortunately if Scotland does get independence we will become more of a political wilderness. The Conservatives gave up on us many years age and Labour just take us for granted. Subsequently nobody is interested in us. As a matter of interest we got a lot more out of Europe than we put in so leaving is another disaster for us. But do we care? Of course not because we’re Geordies!

I watched the Red Nose day Comic relief Charity Show last Friday on Tv. It was normally very funny. As usual it raised a huge amount of money, about £70 Million I think. But it was the biggest load of rubbish I have seen for ages. There were loads of technical problems, and the language was appalling considering lots of children would be watching. The worst thing though was that because comedians  think they are funny we must too. They just weren’t !

Did you know that Prince Charles has his shoe laces ironed before he wears a pair of shoes!

It is also rumoured a manservant puts tooth paste on his tooth brush before he uses it. And something about toilet paper and his bottom!

HUMOUR There is a law firm in leeds called Godloves Solicitors.

it is against the law in Barbados for anyone to wear camouflage clothing. I bet they didn’t see that coming.

Orthodox jews can buy kosher sexual lubricants.

Blond footballers are 15% more likely to score in penalty shootouts than dark haired ones.

Charles Darwins last book was called The Formation of Vegetable Mould through the Action of Worms. I suspect it wasn’t a bestseller.

BT (British Telecom) have just been fined £42 million for internet delays. Their Outreach division, which all other internet providers have to use has been too slow to install superfast internet connections. It has also been told to pay out £300 million in compensation. Outreach made over £3 billion profit last year, not surpising for a monopoly!!!!

BT has just bought the rights for all European football for the next 3 years. Their will be no terrestial availability. The reason they have done this is sell more Broadband packages which include football.  But what is the point buying from a company whose Broadband speeds are worse than a lot of Africa and those of the base camp of Everest. The Broadband speeds generally in the UK are disgraceful and will continue to be so until Outreach loses it’s monopoly status.

Poem attached                                             SUMMER DAYS

 

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