I cant believe its a week since my last epistle. I know ive said it before but Im going to say it again . Time seems to go quicker the older you get.

This week the election promises have all been announced. Promises are the wrong word really , suggestions of things we might do if we can get away with it is probably better wordology. But I will return to politics later.

Tesco, our largest supermarket chain this week announced thay are using a model from Merseyside as the face of their new F and F clothing line. Face but not her voice. She has been given a more “suitable”  English accent for England and Scotland and an Irish accent for Ireland. Typical slight for the North!. Im surprised Ant and Dec havent been given sub titles for their show!

I dont usual watch the Eurovision Song Contest but I did this year. Bit I didnt realise Australia was now in Europe! The Uk had their best year for ages and we finished 15th. But the song that won was from Portugal and was sung by a young boy Salvador Sobrai. It was written by his sister. It was a melancholy ballad which he performed  simply by standing on a platform. The rest had orchestras and backing dancers and singers and fantastic special effects in the background. As he said later was it not just about the song.

I though it was totally refreshing.

The weather this week has been a bit of everything but I was reminded how bad it can be on Monday when it was torrential rain. The beach was pretty deserted but one of the professional dog walkers was out and I said to him ” a day like today just reminds us of what it can be like in the middle of winter”. We have had weeks of good beach walking weather recently.

That leads me nicely onto interesting words we dont seem to use anymore.

Trudge-To walk wearily or laboriously. Which was exactly what I did that day in the rain on the beach.

Bedraggled-Wet, limp and dishevelled. Which is the way I was after my walk.

Swill-To flood with water to wash something. It has got other meaning but is rarely used in this context anymore.

Humour- On 28th june 2009 stephen Hawking hosted a party for time travellers from the future. Nobody turned up. Quite a surprise!

Each person in a swimming pool leaves behind between 8 and 20 teaspoonfuls of urine. I’ll try to be more careful in future!

Before he became a spy, then a best selling author John le Carre washed elephants for the Swiss National Circus.

Now the Labour Party has some good policicies but how they are going to pay for them beats me. They want to take back into public ownership, The railways, water, energy companies and Royal mail. And do away with student loans.

The Lib-Dems have some decent policies but wont get into or hold the balance of power so what they say is irrelevant.

Green Party— Ditto.

UKIP—Defunct .

So we are left with conservatives and labour. The Conservatives have stolen Ukip votes by saying they are going to get immigration to the 10’s of thousands. This figure is a joke. Theresa May knows it is, she was responsible for 7 years before she became PM and cooldnt get it down to anywhere near 200,000. Non European was nearly 200,000 last year. Why hasnt that been reduced. The truth is we near foreign workers . Her policy is purely to see off UKIP. Theresa believes she is now the Conserative party and has made the election a presdentil style one. Her against Jerymy Corbyn to negotiate Brexit. All the other issues are irrelevant. She is re-enacting Margaret Thatcher against Michael Foot. She hasnt got the intelligence of Thatcher but is capable of inflicting just as much damage on the country.

She will probably win easily but Im afraid I’d rather vote for Jeremy Corbyn who has at least principles against someone who is totally devoid of them. All she is , is an opportunist.

As a matter of interest finally neither leader is prepared to meet voters who are against them All their meeting are being staged to present to their own supporters. Hypocrisy!!!!!

This week for a change I have attached a short story.                     AN ODE TO OLDNESS









I have always loved words. Written , spoken whatever medium they are delivered in. I went to my local library when I was 7 and remember my first book, not the title but know it was about a parrot. I read it that night and was hooked! I later read most of the classics interspersed with boys books and of course comics of all kinds. I love the way words are used, the order they come in to make a sentence. It is like a jigsaw the correct words have to be chosen to fit in and complete a picture. Whether it a newspaper article, a magazine article, a book , poetry, someone giving a lecture there is a right word that needs to be used. It has to be sought out, considered and chosen to collaborate with others to get the message across. Good writing takes time but it is worth it. I know it is old fashioned but I do feel spelling is important. There is very little excuse for getting it wrong as a dictionary should be at hand for any writer who cares about their work. Also virtually everybody  has a spell check readily available.

Ok that is the written word. I started off with the intention of being an accountant. I also love numbers,( useful for an accountant) but sitting at a desk all day with little communication with others was boring. Now I managed several years but then drifted somehow into sales. In my early days a company car and a expenses account were very attractive and I found I was naturally suited to it. My type of selling to larger companies demanded a constant contact with the same people. So I quickly found that bullshit doesnt work. Telling the truth, being honest and reliable did. The careful use of words in negotiations was just so important. Again chosing the right word mattered.

Youre probably a bit bored by this now so Im going to stop but it is something I intend to revisit in future blogs.

Leading on from that I have three words which have gone out of fashion but I still like:-

jeepers-An exclamation of surprise

guff- foolish talk, nonsense

vexed-irritated or annoyed.

HUMOUR-The record number of live goldfishswallowed at a single sitting is 210.

“At sparrows fart” is slang for very early in the morning!

385 million years ago fish actually had fingers!

In 1971 100 copies of the Bible were taken to the moon. Did they expect to leave them in hotel rooms I wonder.

A footballer in the Chinese league now earns £798k a week. I’m a football fan and I’ve never heard of him. He is Argentinian and his name is Ezequie Lavezzi. The next to are former players in the English Premier, Carlos Tevez, Argentinian £634k a week and Drogba who is an Ivorian earning £507k a week. The money they earn is incredible.

Oh, and Mario Balotelli receives a bonus of 1 million Euros if he is sent off less than 3 timees in a season.

POETRY attached                             WHO IS TO BE THE JUDGE




Have a read about a pill this week that gets you fit without leaving your chair.. What I think they mean is that it keeps your weight down without any exercise but I,m sure it does not make you FIT. Apparently this drug actually burns fat. I hardly think you can run a marathon without training whether you take this drug or not!

In this country we pay a lot for our 4G mobile phone service. Average availability is 65% which puts us behind Peru, Estonia, Latvia and India.  How we cant do better  in a small country like this baffles me.

This year British parents will fund 26% of the purchase of homes, bought  for their children, to the tune of £6.5 up from £5 billion last year. A sympton of our broken housing market!

The song “Careless Whisper” by George Michael has just been voted the most popular song ever knocking John Lennon’s “Imagine” off the top spot. Both fantastic songs.

Adele now has four of the top 10. Incidently Adele made £40 million last year making her worth £125Million. Not bad at 28 but she really is a brilliant performer.

So Cheryl Tweedy, formerly of “Girls Aloud”  and Liam Payne of “One Direction” have decided to call their new baby “Bear” Thats fine for a baby but when they go to school or become an adult are they going to be happy. I doubt it somehow.  Bear Payne, a name fraught with danger in the future.

HUMOUR  The largest lizard in Australia can run as fast as Usain Bolt. I hope it;s not poisonous!

The world’s largest and most complete Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton is called Sue. That’s funny , so was my ex-wife. need I say more.

The expression “you have a turd in your teeth ” was a common insult in 17th century England.

At the 1928 Olmpics oarsman Henry Pearce stopped to let a family of ducks cross his lane and still went on to win the gold medal. Can you see them doing that now?

I love words especially words that sound unusual so I’m going to try to come up with 3 every week. Words this week are:-

bamboozle-meaning to confuse or puzzle.

kibosh-To put an end to.

shenanigans-nonsense, mischief or trickery.

Finally and I deliberately left it to last is the election campaign in the uk.

Our present Prime MInister is running an interesting campaign which appears to be that she will be the least worst between her and Jeremy Corbyn. I suppose it’s a bit like in the US except the worst there seems to have got in. Although he has done very liittle in his first 100 days.  Policies in our election seem to gone out of the window, all the tactics are is that you call the other leader.

Its Friday pm here and we had an election yesterday. It seems that the UKIP party has been totally radicated, which is excellent news. The Labour Party has done badly which is totally unsurprising under a leader who is determined to lead his party into the wilderness. The Conservatives have done well in Scotland against the old Labour Party (now called the SNP) In fact the Conservatives have done well generally. So It looks as if we are to have 5 years of the “The Grey Woman” who will be now telling us how well she has negotited a Brexit deal. Whether she has or not!

And what about the Lib-Dems. Well what about them, indeed!

POem attached           .PAST PRESENT FUTURE