FASCINATION FOR FRIDAYS

I know its not a big deal for you popular bloggers but I have just achieved a 100 followers, 104 to be precise. Considering my intention was never to court people to read my blogs Im quite pleased. What i do like about blogging is that all Im really doing is projecting into space my thoughts. All Im really doing is thinking aloud if that makes sense. I never reread my blog (ok, so you can tell) I just release it into the unknown. My poems and short stories I draft and redraft but there is something liberating about just putting down what comes into my head. For you people who have taken the trouble to read me, my grateful thanks.

Bridge, the card game, has been trying to become classified as a sport. What a joke! but I have to tell you pole-dancing is trying to be considered for the the Olympics. Now that I can somewhat understand, it being an athletic activity. I wonder if there will be both mens and womens? But just like beach volley ball I suspect the womens event will be very popular!

A British MP Wm Rees-Mogg states The Head of the Bank of England is an enemy of BREXIT. Of course he is because it has huge negative implications to the banking system.

Also I have just read today 8 out of 10 academics are against it. The vote in the referendum was 52-48% so it may be the majority of intelligent people voted against leaving Europe and the less well educated voted for brexit. I wonder!

So the WHO (world health authority) changed their mind about Robert Mugabe, President and Dictator of Zimbabwe being a “goodwill ambassador”. WHat a joke . This is the man who has sanctions imposed for human rites abuses. It is like asking Donald Trump to lead  world climate control, or negotiate for black rights!

OLD WORDS-

Momist- A person who habitually finds fault, a harsh critic.

Percher- An ambitious or self assertive person.

Ruff- To swagger, bluster, domineer.

Fumish- Hot tempered, passionate.

Hugge- To shake with fear or cold.

Stomaching-Given to cherish anger or resentment.

Teen-To vex, irritate, annoy or anger. I wonder if thats what teenager came from!!!!!

The civil servant who was responsible for increasing the retirement age up to 67, Sir Robert Devereux is retiring at 61. He has a pension pot of £1.8 million which will give him £85,000 a year for life and a lump sum of £245,000. NIce one, Sir Bob!!!!

HUMOUR—-Kings College, Cambridge has won more Nobel Prizes than France

The Average person has sex 5,778 times in a lifetime. Are you getting your share? I may have a bit catching up to do!

A 17th Century Scottish tax on having sex out of wedlock was called “buttock mail”

Diners spend £2 more per head if a restaurant plays classical music rather than pop. Snobs!

POEM attached      WINTER

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

FURTHERMORE ITS FRIDAY

A Grandfather who died left a request that an inscription on his gravestone read “the little bugger did his best” It was blocked by the local council who said bugger might offend someone. What a joke!!!!!

A man in Germany deliberately left his bath and sink taps running and his toilet blocked for at least a year. Approx. 1.85 gallons of water were used. Two things . Firstly he lived in an apartment building so how did it take a year to notice and no surprise he is is being appraised in an psychiatic hospital.

Words of advice for Jeremy Corbyn if he realty wants to get into power.

1/ Drop Diane Abbot as shadow home secretary. She is a total liability .

2/ Drop Ian Lavery Chairman of the party and joint coodinator at last general election. Mr Lavery was previously gen. secretary of Northumberland National Union of Mineworkers (NUM) before he became MP for Wansbeck. There are no pits left in the North East so I suspect it was not an arduous job. He received £180k for his troubles. Mr Lavery claimed his job was to help ex-miners and their families, he obviously included himself in this statement. This man is a disgrace to the North-east, to the Labour Party and to miners.

3/ Any one who has any anti semetic sympathies shoud be instantly expeled from the party.

To balance things Tottenham Hotspur football fans chant we are the Yid Army (Short fo Yiddish or Jewish) . a spanish newspaper this week other English football fans hated them because of this. The club were upset at this suggestion. Easy solution. Get the fans to stop chanting . Easy solution.

Staying on football. The English FA this week were made to look ridiculous this week. What people in football have to realise is that money doesn’t buy integrity, honesty and commonsense.

Qatar bought the next football World Cup for £12 billion. They also bought club side Paris Saint-Germain. FIFA top officials were all found to be corrupt. football, certainly in England is run by the Premier League who dictate to the FA  and everybody else because they generate all the money. The fans especially at club level are now irrelevant. WE don’t generate a great deal of cash. As long as the arrogant, self important, totally unscrupulous people run football nothing will change. These people are just like pigs fighting at a trough for the biggest share.

SOME NEEDED HUMOUR-

60% of people eating chocolate rabbits bite the ears off first.

Vanilla is more expensive than silver.

The chocolate on a Hobnob biscuit is on the bottom not the top.

Swearing uses a different part of the brain to ordinary speech.

Brexit (I really hate that word) discussions lead by laxy , slap dash David Davies who every time he is interviewed tells us talks are progressing well. Theresa May has gone to Europe this week to sort out those nasty foreigners.

David Cameron got absolutely nothing when he went to negotiate and May will get as much as they want to give us. At the end of the negotiations the Leader of the Tory party (I’ll be surprised if it is still her) will tell us what a wonderful deal they achieved. Cant wait.

Meanwhile back in England Phillip Hammond, the Chancellor, Boris Johnson, Foreign Secretary, and Amanda Rudd, Home Secretary (with diminutive Michael Gove under her arm) and William Rees-Mogg (more like the name of a flea bitten cat than a Prime Minister) jockey for the leadership. Oh, and i forgot the Trade Minister, Liam Fox who I wouldn’t trust to run a sweet shop!

Finally a very English orientated poem          .FIRST ALIENS TO COMPETE ON STRICTLY

 

 

FREAKY FRIDAY (13th)

I was reading an article about placebos this week and how they work. Apparently the more extreme they are the better they work. For example a harmless injection and minor operation work better than a pill and two pills work better than one pill. it basically works on the premise of Positive thoughts achieve Positive results and also a Doctors healing words work just as well. Food for thought.

Donald trump will not be meeting the Queen if as expected he visits the UK next year. It is suspected that the Queen refuses to curtsey to him!

North Korean diplomats in London owe £250,000 in parking fines and congestion charges. we should go to the UN  to make them pay. Oh, I forgot the UN can’t even get them to stop firing missiles!

So Catalan declared their independence from Spain this week but have suspended it for several weeks in order to have further dialogue. But they haven’t said with who? Thats a strange form of independence. Bit like Scotland I suppose.

Benny Andersson of ABBA fame is bringing out a sequel to Mamma Mia. He claims that Piers Brosnan who was in the first one and will reappear  in the sequel has a good voice. He must be going deaf is all I can say!

The Uk government lurches from one problem to another. The Ministers cant seem to agree on anything except they are all supporting Theresa May. They believe she is a wonderful leader  and nobody wants her job. Who is kidding who?

HUMOUR-Every year the worlds spiders consume more food than the worlds whales. They also spin more webs I guess!

The average British garden contains more 20,000 snails and slugs. Better not tell my daughter that.

The British eat more onions than the French!

Donald Trump presses a red button on his desk when he wants the White House butler to bring him a diet coke. I hope he doesnt get mixed up and presses the other one.

Jeremy Hunt, another of my favourite politicians, who claims he is  the UK Minister of Health believes that the average time a doctor spends with a patient is too short. It is 10 minutes.He believes it should be up to 50 minutes. He admits there are too few doctors at present. The said Mr Hunt wants to increase the numbers by 5,000 doctors by 2022 but admits people who want to leave the NHS is now at its highest figure since 1988. What planet is this man on?

OLD WORDS:-

CONEY-CATCHER-TO swindle, cheat or deceive.

PARGET- To daub the face or body with powder or paint. I know a few women like tat.

LOSENGER- A false flatterer, a lying rascal, a deceiver. Step forward Mr. Hunt.

DOWSABEL- Sweet heart, ladylove.

WASTEHEART- Used to express grief, pity or regret.

The Duke of Westminster died leaving £9.5 billion He paid less than £100,000 in inheritance tax. This is less than a load of average citizens pay. just goes to show if you can afford the best legal advice its worthwhile.

Poem attached          –HOPE

 

 

 

FRIGHTENINGLY FRIDAY

Stephen Paddock , madman of Nevada, USA, decided to have some target practice with 23 of the 42 legally owned guns he had. His target was 22,000 spectators at a country and western concert in las Vegas. He managed to kill 58 and wound 515. Of a population of 350 million people there are 300 million guns in public ownership. not enough a spokesman of the NRA (National Rifle Assoc)  thought as only 33,000 people die every year due to use of guns. Nothing is likely to change as the NRA have sufficient senators on the payroll to vote against any changes in laws. Why dont they charge these senators and NRA officials with manslaughter. It is the constitutional right for every American to own a gun to protect himself and his family. Well good luck with that. Ultimately the problem is the spineless President who was voted for and was partially financed by the gun toting public. Good Luck America, you might just need it!

You have to feel sorry for Theresa May. Given a joke P45, (where were the security people) had a bad cough (where were the doctors to give her a spray or something to get thro. an hours speech. Then the letters on the slogan behind her fell off.

Yes, I did feel soorry for her as a human being but you really shouldn’t have to feel sorry for the leader of your country.

Why doesnt somebody just put her out of her misery, please.

Memo to Michael O’ Leary of Ryanair. Do you know how to run an airline?

Come to think of the same applies to the bosses of Monarch, which has gone bust this week.

HUMOUR- The King of Rwanda lives in a terraced house in Manchester. Has he fallen that far from grace?

Artist Salvador Dali set his moustache was set at ten to ten , like the hands on a clock.

007 actor Sean Connery was once caught speeding by a policeman called James Bond.

The Chief economist to the Bank of England has never had a credit card. Why would he need one when he has access to all that money!!!!!!!

Outof 14,417 houses worth over £1 million in the UK 45 are in the North East. Point made!

Wonder if Catalonia will split from Spain. Will it then lead to other breakaways through out Europe.

Bank robbers in Brazil took 4 months to dig a tunnel 550 yards to break into a bank to steal £240 million. Unfottunately for them they were caught feet from their objective. OOPS.

So much for the cashless society. Bank notes in the UK jumped by 10% fastest growth in ten years. But on a recent visit to Denmark and Sweden I didnt need cash at all. It was all credit cards mostly contactless.

The bill for repairs to Big Ben is now £61 million. For a clock and a bell. Horrendous!

OLD FASHIONED WORDS NOT NOW IN USE-

SILLYTONIAN- A silly or gullible person. How could it be anything else

AWHAPE- To amaze, stupefy with fear. Amazed me!

MERRY-GO-SORRY A mixture of joy and sorrow. Guessed that one.

ROUKER-A person who whispers or spreads rumours.

POEM attached             THE RITE OF RIGHT WRITING

 

PHONEY FRIDAY

Sorry its not Friday, Im late again but have had a lot of things going on. i know Ive said before, I am old but just because you are doesnt just mean you sit and watch day time TV and generally vegetate. I honestly dont know how I fitted work before. I certainly couldnt now. I’m fitter bcause I got a dog, walk 6 or 7 miles a day on beach or in fields I  am learning about subjects I was always interested in but didnt have time to look into before but I now have the freedom to do what I like when I like. It gives one a sense of freedom. There are obviosly physical limitations but , and I know im lucky, they are small so far. My mind seems to be ok as I go to a quiz every week and my team generally win with me contributing reasonably substantially. So dont fear old age , you just have to work at it.

I read an article in a newspaper this week about a little girl of 6 who wanted to be a boy so her mother has encouraged this. Now I have no problem about transgender adults what so ever but is it not too young to decide a child should change sex at that age. Also it was the mother who publicised this child with photographs in a 2 page article. Is that mother not putting her own feelings above the childs?

OLD WORDS NOT BEING USED NOW.

NICKUM- A cheat or dishonest person. Could have guessed that one.

MAN-MILLINERY- Suggestive of male vanity or pomposity.

WASTEHEART-Used to express grief, pity,regret.

SWERK- To become dark or gloomy. Just like the sound of that one.

WLONK- Proud, haughty, splendid. Again love the sound.

Back to Hurricane Maria, The British Virgin Isles are obviously British, Dominica isnt. So we give £5 million in relief aid to Dominica but because of European rules we cant give anything to the Virgin Isles. What absolut rubbish. We just give them both £5 million. What is Europe going to do ? Kick us out? Half the time I think they are just Government excuses.

Apparently some sea birds are feeding their chicks with scraps of plastic. The plastic is mixed up with proper food. There is so much plastic in the seas now it is everywhere even on ice floes in the Arctic. Can governments not get together to do something, surely it is for the common good?

So the far Right is now a major force in German politics. its a sign of the times.

A woman in England this week has been caught going to funerals , then attending the wake to eat and drink and taking away a bag of food. Apparently she has been doing it for 14 years. Oh by the way she didnt know any of the people who died!

HUMOUR–In 1924 half the worlds cars were Fords.

In Washington DC the Slovakian and Slovenian embassies meet once a month to exchange wrongly addressed mail.

Most Britons say “sorry” almost 2 million times. Sorry!

The first rulebook in Argentina stated that a player who had been fouled could accept an apology rather than involve the ref. Could you imagine trying to do that now.

Poem attached (with apologies to some readers)               ENIGMA