A Grandfather who died left a request that an inscription on his gravestone read “the little bugger did his best” It was blocked by the local council who said bugger might offend someone. What a joke!!!!!

A man in Germany deliberately left his bath and sink taps running and his toilet blocked for at least a year. Approx. 1.85 gallons of water were used. Two things . Firstly he lived in an apartment building so how did it take a year to notice and no surprise he is is being appraised in an psychiatic hospital.

Words of advice for Jeremy Corbyn if he realty wants to get into power.

1/ Drop Diane Abbot as shadow home secretary. She is a total liability .

2/ Drop Ian Lavery Chairman of the party and joint coodinator at last general election. Mr Lavery was previously gen. secretary of Northumberland National Union of Mineworkers (NUM) before he became MP for Wansbeck. There are no pits left in the North East so I suspect it was not an arduous job. He received £180k for his troubles. Mr Lavery claimed his job was to help ex-miners and their families, he obviously included himself in this statement. This man is a disgrace to the North-east, to the Labour Party and to miners.

3/ Any one who has any anti semetic sympathies shoud be instantly expeled from the party.

To balance things Tottenham Hotspur football fans chant we are the Yid Army (Short fo Yiddish or Jewish) . a spanish newspaper this week other English football fans hated them because of this. The club were upset at this suggestion. Easy solution. Get the fans to stop chanting . Easy solution.

Staying on football. The English FA this week were made to look ridiculous this week. What people in football have to realise is that money doesn’t buy integrity, honesty and commonsense.

Qatar bought the next football World Cup for £12 billion. They also bought club side Paris Saint-Germain. FIFA top officials were all found to be corrupt. football, certainly in England is run by the Premier League who dictate to the FA  and everybody else because they generate all the money. The fans especially at club level are now irrelevant. WE don’t generate a great deal of cash. As long as the arrogant, self important, totally unscrupulous people run football nothing will change. These people are just like pigs fighting at a trough for the biggest share.


60% of people eating chocolate rabbits bite the ears off first.

Vanilla is more expensive than silver.

The chocolate on a Hobnob biscuit is on the bottom not the top.

Swearing uses a different part of the brain to ordinary speech.

Brexit (I really hate that word) discussions lead by laxy , slap dash David Davies who every time he is interviewed tells us talks are progressing well. Theresa May has gone to Europe this week to sort out those nasty foreigners.

David Cameron got absolutely nothing when he went to negotiate and May will get as much as they want to give us. At the end of the negotiations the Leader of the Tory party (I’ll be surprised if it is still her) will tell us what a wonderful deal they achieved. Cant wait.

Meanwhile back in England Phillip Hammond, the Chancellor, Boris Johnson, Foreign Secretary, and Amanda Rudd, Home Secretary (with diminutive Michael Gove under her arm) and William Rees-Mogg (more like the name of a flea bitten cat than a Prime Minister) jockey for the leadership. Oh, and i forgot the Trade Minister, Liam Fox who I wouldn’t trust to run a sweet shop!

Finally a very English orientated poem          .FIRST ALIENS TO COMPETE ON STRICTLY




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