UNFAMILIARLY FRIDAY

Yes, i know its not Friday!. I seem to have less and less time to do things including this blog, recently. And that got me to thinking. Im 72 going on 73 and 30 years ago when my Dad was this age I thought he was old. But what is old? Is it classified by the age you are, the physical condition of your body or the state of your mind? probably all three. Since my dads time a lot of things have changed. My diet is a lot better, I dont smoke now( I used to on a social basis) and I certainly do more exercise than he did. I have a dog and I walk with him 5/6 miles everyday for about two and a half hours everyday. My diet is higher in fruit and veg., I use semi skimmed milk, dont fry things generally and eat very little fast food. Healthy options are much more accessible these days. This works in my case but it is ironic while they are much more readily available obesity has dramatically increased since my Dads days. His diet was high in stodge but they did walk more and use bicycles when he was younger.

The other helpful contributory factor in keeping healthy is using ones brain. Im involved in an organisation called U3A (in fact Im the local chairman this coming year. It is an organisation set up for educational purposes for people who arent in full time employment. It is generally people who have retired. We run classes in all sorts of things , natural world, theatre groups, art, music, gardening, archaeology, IT, psychology, creative writing and more physical things to such as indoor bowls, country walks and tai chi. There are about 27 groups in total. I also love all sports watching rather than participating now but I do go on a weeks long distance walking every year. A one this year following Offa’s Dyke, basically the border between England and Wales.

I write poetry and short stories and this blog every week. And i love travelling both home and abroad. that is another difference between dad and myself. Travelling abroad is so much easier and of course cheaper.

So yes Im old in years but Id like to think I have gained knowledge (and still learn something everyday) am pretty fit and keep myself very busy. My Dad died at 84 so who knows I might have a good few years in me yet!

HUMOUR The US doubled in size in 1983. How? When Ronald Regan expanded its coastal waters fro 3 to 200 miles!

The coastline of Norway is long enough to circle the planet two and a half times!

In 1922 Ernest Hemmingway’s wife lost his entire life’s work by leaving it on a train

Car theft in the UK has increased dramatically in the last few years. Which isnt really surprising when you can buy from Amazon a Ford pick lock, blank and key programming device coting about £100. How mad is that?

Good news from the Government at last . They are going to reduce the allowed stake on gambling machines from £100 to £2. Currently gamblers could stake £100 every 20 seconds.

OLD WORDS Mollyycoddle- To pamper or protect.

Floosie- A loose woman.

Snaffle-To steal

POEM Attached       CHANGE

 

 

 

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THATS FUNNY IT’S not FRIDAY

Well the weather has changed dramatically. We are not bothering with Spring this year. We have jumped straight into Summer. (Or so it seems.) Plants  and flowers are weeks behind normal but all of a sudden there is blossom on the trees and the flowers and plants have burst in life. Have you ever noticed how much how much happier people are when the sun is shining. They smile more, say good morning and generally linger to have a conversation. I suspect productivity is better and not as many days are lost on absenteeism. I haven’t seen any figures but I would also suspect people will be healthier too. For us dog walkers who were out whatever the weather during winter  we deserve the better weather now.  We have earned it.

The biggest story this week involves West Indians, 50,000 of them who arrived here with their parents. The Home officer has tried to evict them as they didnt have the necessary paperwork, which the Home Office itself managed to destroy. Some people lost all their benefits, some were denied cancer treatment, some were detained but worst of all they were threatened with deportation. The Prime Minister has apologised and it is likely they will all be compensated.  Apparently it was all a big mistake. Nobody so far has admitted it was their fault. No doubt some lowly official will be eventually blamed while the top officials having said “sorry” and given them money to go away thinnk they have done enough!. By the way it is our money, the tax payer’s money they are giving away!

But even worse Europe is now worried that our Home Office cant handle 50,000 people properly how are they going to process after the 3 million Europeans nationals living in this country after Brexit. It doesn’t inspire confidence.

This country is discussing ways to cut down on the use of plastic. We talk about these things forever and take years before we do anything. France have already banned a lot of them now. Another case of actions speak louder than words.

A woman who killed someone while driving while drunk pretended she was blind, disabled and had a brain tumour. She had previously been jailed for falsely accusing a man of rape. Fortunately she wasnt believed and she got 9 years in jail. Excellent.

Humour.Half of all human beings have mites living in their eyelashes. Have you checked yours recently/

Elvis was naturally blonde.

Blonde footballers are 15% more likely to score in penalty shootouts than dark-haired footballers.

On average Britons will eat 1,126 chickens in their lifetimes.

So, we are going to get blue passports which we dont need, printed by a foreigner company and the British company who print them now will pay off some of their workers who I presume pay tax and national insurance. Is that not a bit silly?

Why doesnt the Labour party just kick out all the anti Semitics in the party rather than just talk about it/

Poem attached      SECRETS

 

 

FREQUENTING FRIDAYS

Well its been a bit of a strange week. Weather on the East coast here still winter-like wet and cold. Im in a walking club and it was my turn to organise it. What happened it rained all day so it was cancelled!. i dont know how many of you own pets especially dogs. They are an extremely expensive item. my labrador, Bruce has had a limp for a couple of weeks. so i took him to the vets. After a course of anti inflammatories it was decided he needed treatment. So he needed an x-ray costing £500 when it would be decided what operation would be needed. Im waiting for the expert to come back to me but he has knee and hip problems and costs are likely to be between £2500- £3000. Ok Im insured but when a vet quotes prices you cant negotiate like you can with other items or services. Thats the price, take it or leave it!. Somebody told me recently the best professions to encourage your children into are either to be a vet or a dentist. Anyway Bruce will get the best treatment what ever the cost. He is only 8!

Apparently Mariah Carey has just been diagnosed as being bi-polar. I thought she has always had it.  On tour she has asked for puppies to be provided, didnt do stairs ever , wore high heels even in the gym. Also bought all the seats on a flight so she could travel alone and had bdy guards surround her in a restaurant so other diners couldnt see her eat. But worst of all had her limousine drive around until her hotel had a candle lined red carpet out for her. At two o’ clock in the morning. AND she wasnt strange before??????

The Government is putting extra money into prostrate cancer screening and research.My own prostrate cancer was picked up in 2000 when they was screening for people over 50. Mine was picked up, monitored and then I had radio-therapy which cured me. The Prime Minister is claiming this as if it new idea when her predecessor David Cameron cut the funding for the previous scheme!!!

Humour___The Daleks in Dr. Who were based on the Nazis.

Charles Dicken’s son Francis, was a Tony Blair Canadian Mountie.

In 1948 a single law was brought out in Spain banning blasphemey, wood-chopping and keeping poultry.

People eating in a group of 7 or more eat twice as much as people eating alone!

Tony Blair was hugely criticised for being George Bush’s poodle when we invaded Iraq. Nobody seems to think Theresa May is Donald Trumps “chihuahua” in the present Syrian situation. So whats the plan kill some more Syrian civilians who happen to be in the way?

Read in the paper wild bears are being kept in small cages for all their lives  in Armenia for wealthy owners to show off. This is appalling!

Poem attached                      HOPELESS

 

FREQUENTLY FRIDAY

We had Easter holiday last weekend and the weather as it so often is was awful. So people with children look desperately for somewhere to take their kids. The favourite seems to be (certainly not mine) retails parks and large shopping malls. I thought it quite amusing this week when there was a two-hour traffic jam in a “Ikea” car park. Some of the angry motorists said they could have built some of their flatpack furniture in the time it took to get out!

The passport row goes on. A government spokesman apparently said “everyone” wants the new blue one for when we come out of Europe. I dont know anyone who actually cares what colour it is. But to rub salt in the wound the contract has been awardedto a Dutch-French company. We in the UK have the largest printer of passports and currency in the world but the contract is going elsewhere. The US, France, Germany, Italy and Spain all print their own so why cant we?

A 78 year old man was asleep in bed with his disabled wife when burglars broke into his house. He was taken downstairs under threat of violence while another burglar ransacked the house. The burglar and the man grappled and the burglar ended up being stabbed. He escaped but died later in the street. The burglar has a long criminal record stretching back years. So what was the conclusion. Well, the 78 year old is out on bail for murder of course. What nonsense. The buglar got what he deserved!!!!

OLD FASHIONED WORDS

Jiggery Pokery—Deception or trickery.

Hanky Panky— means the same.

Hang dog—Ashamed or cringing, as in expression.

Scram— Leave in a hurry.

This will no doubt be controversial but that has never stopped me before. Theresa May has found a subject to become her equivalent of the Falkland Isles invasion. What the truth is about the Salisbury’s poisonings I really don’t know although I suspect the Russians did have something to do with it. But it has now been going on for four weeks now and no concrete evidence has been established as to how or who did it. But of course the clown of a Foreign Secretary was opening his mouth 2 days after it happened before anyone knew anything. But the whole incident has certainly taken everyone’s eye off the “Brexit” which is what Theresa May wanted.

Having said that Jeremy Corbyn has not sorted out the anti Semitic stigma the Labour Party has. The trouble is if you support the Palestine cause are you deemed to be anti-Semitic?

HUMOUR–90% of people remember their first kiss more vividly than the first time they had sex.

A group of hackers once took down Papa John’s website because their pizza was late.

24% of Britons have cereal for supper not breakfast. I did know somebody who did that to save him time in the morning!

Until 1940 fake snow in the movies was cornflakes painted white.

National Health Service admissions for obesity related conditions rose 20% last year. We talk plenty about doing something about it but nothing ever seems to happen.

In the first two months of this year the murder rate in London exceeded New York’s.  Considering we have few guns on our streets it is virtually all knife crimes. We need to bring back “stop and search” and have more police on the streets. Who did away with “stop and search” Theresa May when she was Home Secretary” of course!

Poem attached        FORGOTTEN

 

 

FANTASIZINGLY FRIDAY

It is Easter Monday. It is 2 degrees outside and trying to snow. The walk on the beach today with dogs was a chore not a pleasant experience. Officially Spring started last week and flowers and the blossom on trees is at least 6 weeks later than last year. Which leads me on neatly to a bad vanilla harvest this year which will cause the price of vanilla ice cream to go up dramatically. WE are going to need a drastic weather change to sell at all!

HYPOCRITES 1—- Airlines that actually charge extra for seats together for families. Of course it IS stated in the small print of their terms.

HYPOCRITES 2—- Some TV personalities who appear on TV charity quiz shows who actually charge for appearance money. The audience assume they ARE making an appearance for charity. Greedy bastards!

HYPOCRITES 3— We all know Donald Trump is a hypocrite but so is Karen McDougall the ex Playboy model who was aghast when he ALLEGEDLY offered money when they had sex. she “wasn’t that sort of girl”, but it was ok to live in the flat she was given in New York for the 10 months she had an affair with him. Stormy Daniells is the other woman who claimed they had sex and she was paid hush money. Do these woman find him so attractive or is it something else?

Alpecin shampoo and Sensodyne toothpaste have had their TV adverts banned as the shampoo doesn’t help reduce hair loss and the toothpaste doesn’t make your teeth any whiter, Is this a new thing that adverts for products actually have to tell the truth?

HUMOUR 1 in 5 people in Wales haven’t been kissed for a year.

People who believe in luck are luckier than those who don’t!

Frank Sinatra took 12 showers a day. What a clean man!

Stan Laurel successfully cross-bred a potato with an onion but couldn’t pursuade anyone to eat it

Apparently David Davis the politician in charge of the Brexit negotiations appeared on TV on the Andrew Marr show with a bucket by his side as he felt ill. Would it not have been more sensible to have it next to Andrew Marr who had to listen to David Davis spouting his usual sick making rubbish about Brexit?

Jacob Rees-Mogg the Tory politician who says he is not interested in being the the Prime Minister is being supported by his mother who says she doesn’t believe he is a toff and his nanny who thinks he will make a excellent P.M. Are they not a little biased?

People used to called John Major , an ex P.M. a grey man . Well Theresa May puts him totally in the shade. In fact she is a greyer shade of grey!

OLD WORDS—-GUFF—Foolish talk, nonsense.

FAFF— To dither or be flustered (usually faff about)

KERFUFFLE—a commotion, disorder, agitation.

WISHY-WASHY—not decisive, weak. Also means watery or insipid.

POEM attached       LIVING LIFE