FLIRTING WITH FRIDAY

I was reading an article somewhere this week where a parent was telling their children life could be tough at times. They were heavily criticized by other people.

I am of the believe you deal with things that go wrong in your life when they happen. People who have gone through life without anything bad to them are extremely lucky. i think dealing with a major problem makes you stronger , more rounded, more understanding of other people having tough times. it should actually make you a better person. It gives you experience of dealing with a problem and knowing how to get through it fo the future. The other factor for me is that if you have low times does it not make the good things in life even sweeter? If you dont experience bad times you wont tend to experience the euphoria of extreme happiness.

Life is tough but given resilience it can be exciting and totally worthwile whatever your circumstances. i know it is a well-worn cliche but you really do get out of life what you put in. Also, in my case never look back. Yes Ive made stupid mistakes, but thats in hindsight. Hopefully Ive learnt from them and wont make those same mistakes again. Unfortunately I cant really say that as I have been known to make the same mistake again and again. But thats just me being stupid.

By the way age doesnt really come into this, Ive met really smart young people and stupid old people. its just the individual that counts. OK sermon over, sorry about that.

The British Government discovered a new continent this week called Africa. You leave Europe and if you keep going south you will come to it. We sent a woman Witch doctor called Theresa May who thinks by doing a bit of dancing she can get them to give us some business. No government minister has visited this new continent for 7 years and no Prime Minister for about 30 years. Apparently quite a lot of people live there. Unfortunately it was discovered some time ago by the Chinese who have been poring money into the infrastructure. Now someone has decided we might be leaving Europe we will be poring money into Africa. However Im reliably informed there are a lot of despots there who will cream off our money and keep it themselves. Witch Doctor May visited Nigeria and giving their record of scam emails here I hope she isnt tempted to give them our bank details.

HUMOUR—-Mozart kept a fart diary!

You have a “turd” in your teeth was a common insult in the 17th century

The largest bra size is 48V. Now that is a big girl!!!!!

The least common PIN number is 8068. Bet it isnt now!

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More shooting in USA. Not really news anymore. Civilians die in Syria and Yemen also not news

SIGN of the TIMES-Pope Francis visited Ireland and 200k attended mass.In 1979 Pope John Paul 2nd visited and 1.2 Million attended.

Finally Donald Trump’s behaviour towards John McCain is appalling. Apparently you are not a war hero if you get captured. You are only a hero if you are dead or not captured. Well Trump wasnt captured , so he must be a hero. But does being back in the USA and not fighting at all count?

POEM ATTACHED            AS FAR AS I COULD THROW THEM

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FANTASIZING FOR FRIDAY

The most popular newspaper in the Uk is the Daily Mail. it is also by some distance the most non-sensible. This week it has started a campaign complaining about not enough people being sent to prison. Considering the prison system can’t control the prisoners they have now it doesn’t make a lot of sense. It is believed it it is so easy to get drugs smuggled in that if you dont do drugs when you go in you certainly will when you leave. Also the number of prisoner officers being attacked is at epidemic level.

The Government claimed this week they will eradicate homelessness by 2025. They wont be spending more money they will just change the system. The fact is homelessness will NEVER be totally eradicated. It just a case of government wishful thinking.

That is Government wishful thinking but lack of ambition is another thing altogether . They have stated they will make sure there will be NO non- recyclable plastic items in 25 years time. Considering most of the Government will be dead by then(unfortunately so will I) and the oceans will be full of plastic they are not exactly committed to the cause.

Apparently 60% of holiday makers have been forced to share planes with drunk passengers. Considering British airports sell drinks at al hours it is not entirely surprising. Even when I was younger and drunk quite a lot I never really fancied a pint of lager or a bottle of wine at 6 o’ clock in the morning.I certainly drunk a lot when actually on holiday but not so I was a nuisance to other passengers when I was on the plane. Might be an idea to breath test passengers before they get on planes if the crew have any doubts if they are drunk or not.

HUMOUR- It is illegal in France to name a pig Napoleon out of respect to their emperor. Apparently he had haemorrhoids during the “Battle of Waterloo”. They are very painful so Im not surprised he surrendered quickly, he just wanted some treatment!

People eat less in subdued lighting. Now there a great tip to lose weight!

The record number of live goldfish swallowed at a single sitting is 210. Sorry I dont know what happened to them afterwards!

Apples , strawberries, plums and almonds are all types of rose.

Squirting water in your left ear will make you less optimistic. Go on, try it!

Did you read that a Afghan claiming asylum in Austria on the grounds of being gay and being persecuted in his homeland for it lost his case. On the grounds that he didnt look gay. He also didnt dress or walk in a gay manner!!!!!!!

Back to booze.Apparently the Uk has more “at risk” drinkers than any other country in Europe. Ireland are 2nd and Czech Republic 3rd. The least nations are Sweden and Hungary.

INTERESTING OLD WORDS-

SHUFTI- A glance or a quick look.

SKIFFY- Indicating a direction of something using both hands in a game of “Eye Spy”

FAY- Another name for a fairy.

Poem attached                           THE SEA

A FREQUENTLY FRANTIC FRIDAY

Another week gone in my life , where to I haven,t a clue but it has gone quickly. I try to set myself a small target of doing something or going somewhere new or even learning something everyday. I achieve it most days but i can’t remember what they were this week.

I,m trying this week to only talk about nice things but it is difficult.

Firstly I was surprised to learn that Robert Redford has never won an acting Oscar. considering this list of films, Barefoot in the Park, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Sting, All the President’s Men, A River runs Through it, Out of Africa, Indecent Proposal, The Horse Whisperer and many more. He did however win one Oscar as Director for Ordinary People and a lifetime award. Must have been the case there were just better films out the years he made good ones.

What a shame to hear about the death of Aretha Franklin this week. She was one of the “Great Singers” She made singing seem easy. The only others that I think this ease of singing applied to for me was Peggy Lee, Barbra Streisand and strangely enough Donna Summer. Boy did Aretha Franklin have a tough life.She had two kids by the time she was 15, married a pimp who beat her and she was insecure all her life . She was also a perfectionist. It is amazing how people who have hard lives can be touched by genius. It is almost as if they are better because they have had to fight for their art. She was without a doubt the “Queen of Soul”

HUMOUR——King Francis the 1st of France hung the “Mona Lisa” in his bathroom. If only he had known!

Two teaspoons of Botox are enough to kill the whole of the UK.

The first ever “Webcam” was in the computer lab at Cambridge Uni. It was trained on the coffee pot in the corridor to save scientists making pointless trips when it had run out.

Pandas defecate( Shit to me and you) 50 times a day . Just think of the amount of toilet paper they must use!

A new film is coming out soon “The Aeronauts”. It is the true story of two Victorian scientists who broke the altitude record for a hot air balloon. But to make it more box office one of the characters has been changed to a woman. The male character missed out was a hero who saved the others life. The record they broke lasted 65 years. What a shame history has been changed for money.

Women are quite capable of looking after themselves. i would like to think (in most walks of life but not all yet) women are given opportunities on merit. Something I think is wrong for example is the Conservative party in the UK have women only short lists of candidates to stand as MP’s. In other words it is best woman not best person. Do women really want things rigged in their favour. Is it not better being chosen because you were the best person for the job. It is gradually happening , certainly in the UK.

POEM attached        THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM

 

FRIGHTFULLY FRIDAY

Sorry , twice, Firstly it’s not Friday and secondly I missed last week because I was at a wedding. Said wedding was in Winchester, Hampshire and what a beuatiful place it is!. It was the old capital of England before William the Conqueror invaded England so it is very historical. It has a huge Cathedral , ruined castle , a Great hall (where supposedly King Arthur’s round table hangs on the wall) and loads of historical buildings . These buildings dating back to the 11th and 12th centuries by the way. And lots of good bars and restaurants too. All in all a memorable week end. AND i have booked to visit probably my favourite city next month. And that is Paris.

Well not a lot seems to have happened this week, apart from people dying in wars in the Yemen, Syria and various parts of Africa. Earthquakes in the far East, floods in Japan and and France. What I meant was that it has been pretty quiet on the political front.

Although Boris Johnson , our undiplomatic Foreign Secretary has excelled himself by saying stupid, provocative things. He said “a woman wearing a burka looks like a post-box” Then he claims he is not anti-Islamic and that she has every right to do so! But then went on to say “does she know how stupid she looks” Obviously Donald Trump has been giving him lessons in how to upset people without really trying!

I must have been living with my head in the sand recently. The BBC published a list of the most influential women ever born. Out of the top ten I,m ashamed to say I hadn’t heard of five, Rosa Parks, Ada Lovelace, Rosalind Franklin,Angela Burdett-Coutts and Mary Wollstonecraft. Sorry ladies.

How contradictory life is. I read this week that too much exercise risks mental health. Up to 45 minutes is good but after that is unwise. Also that too much sleep can be bad for you!. health experts keep telling us different things.

Another thing this week caught my eye. That school pupils are being stressed by sitting exams!Normal life is pressured and competitive whether we like it or not and are exams not part of the preparation for this.

HUMOUR-JRR Tolkein was rejected for a Nobel Prize in literature on the grounds of his “poor storytelling”

Ruth Wakefield , inventor of chocolate chip cookies sold her idea to Nestles in exchange for a lifetime supply of chocolate!

A grass hoper becomes more sociable if you stroke its hind legs. How sociable I’m afraid I don’t know!

The largest sperm bank in the world does not accept donations from redheads because of insufficient demand.

St George is the patron saint of England, leprosy AND syphilis.

Finally a new law is going to pass through Parliament that eating dog-meat in the UK will be illegal. Firstly I didn’t realise we did eat dog meat here and secondly my dog, Bruce is absolutely delighted

POEM attached                  FALLING