Hi All. i hope you are all happily isolating. together or seperately. We in the Uk are nearly completing our fifth week with at least another two weeks to go. But it is likely things will gradually ease off after that. It will be gradually’ Probably some schools will open with restrictions and industry will start coming back in some form. The last thing will be hospitality, pubs, restaurants, cafes and any events with any sort of crowds. The likely hood is we will not have some sort of normality until a vaccine is available in mass production. I and my partner may be isolated in some form because of our ages for the rest of the year. It is a frightening prospect.

Anyway deaths and infections here have started to decline but only slowly so far.Problems remain in the accessibility of SSE not only for the front-line health workers but care workers and those in  other  essential trades. Apparently items like gowns are being reused. Deaths due to the virus are only counted when someone dies in hospital apparently it doesn’t matter as much if you die in a care home. A total disgrace. France however counts all deaths caused by Covid 19.  Only one in ten deaths are people under 60 so it shows how it is older people  are worst affected. Also men are more likely  than women and even more at risk are Black, Asian and ethnic minorities.

Boris Johnson is back at work on Monday. He told us a month ago testing, testing, testing was the key to beat the virus. Well we managed 23,000 on Thursday when we are promised 100,000 in a weeks time. But the next promise is that 10 million key workers and there families will be tested soon. Registration commenced this morning for home testing at a rate of 18,000 kits per day this week. by mid morning the site was closed stating “Appications closed”.

Promises , promises.

We had 22 national test centres, hardley turned up, apparently they were in the wrong places! So who knows how many tests will be completed this week when boris sorts things out!

Over in the USA Trump has now had an idea that disinfectant and sunshine will sort thing out. Good luck to you Americans

In the meantime negotiations are going in Europe about Brexit. Does the man in the street really care now. Ideally surviving Corona virus will be the top priority!


Avocados are toxic to horses. And grapes are poisonous to dogs.

The labourers who built the Great Wall of China were fed on sauerkraut. I didn’t realise the Germans built it !

Do you know hamsters one eye at a time?

Astronaut John Young smuggled a corned beef sandwich into space. Was he worried there were no snack bars on the moon.

Research shows that for luxury brands, the ruder the sales staff the higher the sales.


Jiggle– Quicky, jerky movement.

Skedaddle– Run off fast.

Guff– Foolish talk, nonsense.

Vexed– Irate, angry,annoyed.

Shenanigans– Nonsense, trickery, mischief.

Shindig– Dance, party or social affair.


Hoy– To throw.

Nettie– Bathroom, toilet.

Skiffy– Point in the direction of.


Bagie — Turnip.

Bait– Snack, sandwich.

And so a poem, but next week I promise I,m i will only talk about coronavirus briefly. Honestly !!!!!!     THE RIVER








Well its another week. Easter has come and gone.And virtually every day is now the same.I leave the house once a day to walk my dog and thats it. Haven’t driven my car for nearly a month. My partners daughter delivers food for us once a week and we are stocked up for dog food and any medicines we need. Thats it . We are only in contact with each other. All other people have to be kept at a distance. We spend our time in our garden and when the weather is not so nice do work in the house. We still have lots of painting and decorating to do. We buy lots of items we need for the house and garden online and can obtain virtually all we need delivered to the door.

Coronavirus has become a nightmare. Certainly in the UK we appear to be almost at the peak for deaths and infections, but the government has stated the lock-down will continue for at least three weeks. The number of deaths in the UK are now higher  than any other European country. Italy and Spain have now seen deaths reduce. France is now including all deaths from the virus whereas the UK are only deaths in hospital. So our figures are even worse than stated!

The Care home sector has been largely ignored during this epidemic  but there are now large numbers of deaths whether by the virus or other causes. The government has looked to the NHS  to handle hospital admissions where care homes have been left to local authorities to handle. The fact is there has been a failure to look after the elderly generally, be it in Care homes or in their own homes. There has been a bias towards the young and an acceptance to a certain extent that old people will die anyway. Certainly the amount of SSE has been vastly underestimated in the local authorities.

It is too early for inquests but there is no doubt the government has been far too slow in preparing for the amounts of   SSE required. The lack of ventilators is absolutely disgraceful and they are still not not coming through. And the testing has not even reached 20,000 per day which was promised two to three weeks ago. Matt Hancock lies through his back teeth in every press conference he has presided on. He is still promising 100,000 tests by the end of April.Germany however Is still doing 5000,000 a week now. No wonder their deaths are relatively low. The medical experts say his promises are just fantasy. Matt Hancock claims promises as facts what he really means is wish lists. The government quite honestly is totally out of control and Boris Johnson is well out of it. Dominic Raab, seems to be acting leader at the moment. Which will have put Michael Gove’s nose totally out of joint (He thinks he is Boris’s deputy) And Alok Sharma and Priti Patel  are totally lightweights in front of the press. The only one who has impressed me is the Chancellor, Rishi Sunak who states facts as they are.

There will be a huge inquest after the event. The worrying thing is when the virus is subdued what happens next. We will be totally locked down for at least 3 weeks. Germany and Spain and some other European countries are trying start some industries already. If we do not get industry going and school opening with restrictions we could again be too slow. It is really worrying.

Trump is also likely to try to kick start industry in some of the US states

Enough of all that.


Chimpanzees can identify each other by looking at photographs of their bottoms

Lizards can’t breathe and walk at the same time. To be fair I struggle to walk and talk at the same time.

65% of Pakastani soldiers have dandruff.

Whoopi Goldsberg  used to be a bricklayer!

Jerry Springer was born in a London Underground station!


Hugger-mugger– secretive or covert

Humdrum–dull , monotonous, routine.

Jiggered–amazed, confounded.

Jim-jams– nervousfeeling, jitters.

Humdinger– Excellent in it’s kind or person.

Jiggery pokery– Trickery or deception


Gowk– Apple core

Fettle- Type of feeling.

Hinny-Affectional name for a man or woman


Gammy– injured.

Clarty–Ditty, muddy

Canny– kind.

Gawkin–looking at somebody with intensity.










Well all the news is about coronavirus. But has anyone bothered to think about other news. For example whats happening about the wars in Syria and Yemen. Are they now fighting the common enemy coronavirus? And the same applies to other wars throughout the world.  Whats happening about the poor refugees in Turkey and Greece. They are sitting targets for the infection.They can hardly self isolate. They have no sorts of protective equipment. The same applies to already poor people in the Third World. The likelihood is the Western World will recover fairly quickly to the epidemic but the rest of the world will take much more time to recover and a lot more deaths

In Europe now Italy and Spain seemed to have peaked as far as deaths are concerned . But it is believed the UK ,France and especially the US probably have another week before their peak. And China and North Korea are well over the worst. I know Trump doesn’t believe the figures China produced and is in conflict with the WHO but the Chinese did  seem to control the epidemic. pretty quickly. I don’t believe  the Chinese either but they can’t have distorted them too much. What worries me generally especially in the UK is that who collated the figures. We at home are told the numbers of deaths are those who have died in hospital but there is a dispute going on that figures of people who die in nursing or old peoples homes are not included. What figures do we believe? Also there 17,000 people who die in a normal year from “ordinary flu”. Are they included in the corona virus death figures? Nearly 10% of over 80 year old’s will die in a normal year. So it is very difficult to quantify the numbers of death.

The other thing that is a worry is the possibility of a long period of lock down.  There is likely to be more mental health problems, heart problems due to a lack of exercise and finally the impact of increased unemployment and reduced living standards.

These are the balances that need to be judged worthwhile for the future.

Finally it is an ongoing problem that the front line staff in the NHS are still being critical of lack of proper protective clothing. And also a lack of ventilators. We are being promised them “soon” but aren’t materialising . The Germany army has sent us 70 in the last day or so. But the biggest “promise” from Boris Johnson and other spokesmen is that we need testing, testing, testing. That was nearly 2 weeks ago. Two days ago we achieved 11,500. That fact is the Government is making idle promises still. we are reminded that Germany are testing 500,000 a day. are there death rate is much lower pro rata than us.

Now for some HUMOUR.

The world’s largest and complete Tyrannesaurus Rex skeleton is called Sue. That’s funny my ex-wife was called Sue!

Britain’s biggest pig is called Boris . He contains enough pork to make 6,000 sausages! (there is a certain resemblance)

According to the Mayan calendar the next time the world is “going to end” is the 3rd of may 7138. I’ve put it in my calendar.

There is a 12% possibility that a game of moopoly will go on indefinitely

Black holes are not black.

Human teeth evolved from fish scales.


Gardyloo—warning when chamber pot was thrown out of a window.

Brabble— To argue loudly about matters of no impotance.

Crapulous—The condition of feeling ill as a result of too much eating/drinking.

Fudgel— Act of pretending you are working when really doing nothing.

Groke— To stare intently at someone who is eating in the hope they will give you some. (I have a dog like that)

GEORDIE WORDS. Words from the North of England mainly Newcastle- upon- Tyne or Tyneside.

Gadgie or Gadje–Non-Roma person or fellow.

Conk– Break down sic conk out

Buck— To improve, get better as buck up.


Howfing— A mean or shabby person , looking like a beggar.


FINALLY A great big cheer for the Doctors and Nurses and other support workers this killer virus. Thank you





Well, this self isolation thing is very strange. Never mind this being a Friday everyday might as well be a Friday. Everyday is the same. It is only the end of the second week of self isolation , with supposedly at least eleven to go. It is going to be a long time. I’m lucky I suppose. I have a garden and because I have moved into a new house there is quite a lot to do. The weather has been pretty good and spring is the time for planting seeds and clearing out all the rubbish from the winter. The only time my partner and I are allowed out is to walk our dogs. Fortunately we are only a few minutes away from the beach so that allows plenty fresh air.

In the UK all is pretty much doom and gloom, same as much countries as present. Death rates are climbing and we are told the peak will probably be reached in about a couple of weeks.The media is full of criticism for the slowness of the government to react to suppl ying PPE (personal protective equipment) Our NHS is doing a fantastic job in difficult circumstances but there is still shortages of masks, gowns gloves. The government makes promises which are not being fulfilled. But the biggest problem is the lack of testing equipment. Germany is testing 500,000 people in the Uk we are only testing about 10,000.  Our PM (our British Trump) said a fortnight ago the key, is testing, testing, testing. He is isolated at present after having been positively tested but not even the frontline staff like doctors and nurses have been tested yet. We are also hopelessly ill-equipped with ventilators. Again they are expected to come in the next few weeks!

It appears the Western world totally underestimated this virus. A fortnight ago Trump the clown was still saying it was just “flu”. He would wouldn’t he!  The Major of New York however is a realist and appears to be leading from the front. Asian countries reacted much more quickly and South Korea, Taiwan, Singapore and even China itself have recovered more quickly.

Enough of the gloom.

AMUSING FACTS–80% of people who are struck by lightning survive , on the other if you are unlucky 20% die!

After the first recorded hurley match the losing side were brutally murdered. A winner takes all perhaps?

in 1920 Clarence Blethen retired hurt from a baseball game after biting himself on the bottom with the false teeth he kept in his back pocket!

A fight between chameleons is more likely to be started by the one with the brighter stripes.

There are at least 600 men in the world with penis. Whose a lucky boy then?

Scatomancy is telling the future by looking at tuds. What a load of shit!

INTERESTING WORDS– COLLYWOBBLES is a pain in the stomach or abdomen.

COMELY is a handsome, attractive person eg wench.

FLAPPER a bold or unconvential in actions or clothes.

FLIBBERITGIBBET a irresponsible person.

FLIGHTY foolish, silly or frivolous.

HOME Please find poem attached. Also BRUCE the labrador wanted to be in on act!