Firstly the absolutely sensational news that broccoli has been voted the most popular vegetable in Btitain. That does surprise me. Although I have heard that parents have sold it to their small children as miniture trees making it somehow more attractive. I remember my son didnt like brussel sprouts but did like cabbage so I told him brussel sprouts were only miniture cabbages which did the trick.

Second in the poll was sweetcorn and third tomato. Cacrrot was only fifth most popular and cauliflower down at eighth. Surprising results I thought.

That leads me onto the fact that 80% of British people dont eat the recommended 5 veg a day. Only 18% do. Im a type 2 diabetic and I must eat at least a dozen fruit and veg a day. No wonder obesity is getting all the time in this country.

And now a gripe , Thames Water is a company owned by an Australiancompany, a Kuwati co., Abu Dhabi, Canadian and Chinese company. So it must be a worthwhile investment borne out by paying out dividends of £100million pounds this year. Apparently it hasnt paid any tax since 2006 although it has been fined £29m for leaking pipes. So it profitable , why is iot not British owned ofr even in the public sector. How can foreign companies control our water supplies for the capital city?

Now it is time to mention our latest disaster, the third in a short time for London. The reason it burnt so quickly , spread so quickly needs to be found out as quickly as possible. there are 4000 similar multi stories in this country . How are the tenants going to feel knowing they could also be living in a death trap. Something has gone wrong, the people responsible need to be brought to justice whatever level they are at . In the meantime the poor people who died, who were trapped and missing and all the friends and relatives involved deserve enormous sympathy. The ordinary people who have contibuted clothes, food , all sorts of things and the police and firemen were magnificent. Politicians and civil servants have yet to do so. This should never have happened in the 5th richest country in the world! The victims need and deserve answer.

I cant remember if I have told you that I live in one of the most beautiful counties in England, Northumberland. It is the most Northerly English county and borders Scotland. It is the least populated and and has a magnificent coastline of beaches. They are not for lying on , they are for bracing walks and dogwalking. They are cold even in summer. We have the highest number of ancient castles , ruined and some still in use. On the border with Scotland is the Cheviot Hills, a wild and desolate range of hills. In the South is the river Tyne and the mainly unspoiled Hadrians Wall built by the Romans nearly 2000 years ago. The hinterland of Nothumberland is mainly moors but contains the largest man made lake in Europe, Keilder water. In that area , one of the darkest places in Europe is Keider Observatory. We are a sanctuary for the red squirrel, one of the last in England. And the jewel in the crown is the city of Newcastle-upon- Tyne. A city of beautiful architecture, the regional home of art, music and culture, restaurants supplyng food from all over the world. A popular University city with a vibrant nightlife.

Poem attached.                             TRY AGAIN



Ok the election is over but it was so close we are likely to have another soon! I was up until 3 o’clock this morning and I’m shattered.

I will things up quickly, losers were Theresa May , found guilty of sheer arrogance. Thought because labour were nearly 20% behind in the polls she would win by a land slide. Wrong! UKIP voters did not all vote Tory this time , half voted Labour.  The people did not believe she was either strong and stable. She was the opposite and if she had any courage whatsoever she would think of the country rather than herself and resign. Guily as charged!

Nicola  Sturgeon, leader of SNP believes that losing a third of her seats is still actually a victory! Another referendum is now dead in the water.  She is also guilty of arrogance along with Alex Salmond and Angus Robertson, ex SNP MP’s!

Paul Nuttall. UKIP leader has already resigned, guilty of having little or no ability.

Successes,  Jeremy Corbyn , who nobody gave a prayer (including me) ran a brilliant campaign and invigorated young people to vote.

Ruth Davison, Scottish Tory leader who also ran an excellent campaign and saved the Tories from a worse result.

Tim Fallon, Lib-Dem leader who ran a terrible campaign, guilty of being extremely lucky and increasing their number of seats.

For those who actually read my blog my forecasts last week were pretty close to what happened. Apart from Theresa May resigning which wont be long coming.

So election over , for now, the television might actually have proper programmes again.

English Heritage want people to vote on the best inventions of all time. Candidates are, Teabags, The wheel, The fridge, sewers, The plough, Penicillin, The internet, Armour, light bulbs and the clock. Personally I’m torn betwween tea bags and the wheel!

THe top uni’s in the world are now all American, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Stanford, Harvard and the California Institute of Technology. Then Engish Uni’s ,Cambridge, Oxford and University college and Imperial college both London.

HUMOUR More than 80,000 bartenders in the USA have university degrees.

a survey in 1943 found that the top tip for a successful marriage was actually “liking” your partner.

Winston Churchill was a druid and Jimi Hendrix was a paratrooper.

Madonnawas sacked from dunkin donuts for squirting customers with jam.

Apparently Donald Trump doesn’t tell lies. Well thats the first one!

George Clooney and his wife named their new-born twins Ella and Alexander. For once celebrities have given their kids proper names. Very sensible!

A  pensioner in England stopped people from speeding in her village by aiming a hair dryer at their car. They slowed down immediately as they thought it was a speeding device.

Diane Abbott, the Labour shadow home secretary stepped down with three days to go in the elction campaign. Apparently she was ill. Is that another word for incompetent?

Last week there was the first shark attack in British waters by a 3ft smooth hound shark. It attacked a surfer and he hurt his hand by punching it. His wife didnt believe him and thought he was just making an excuse for being late.

Poem Attached         THE TARN




Well its nothing like a Friday cos its a Monday. An extremely wet one at that. Ive been off the air because Ive changed my broadband company which proved to be a lot more difficult than I anticipated. Communication companies (telecons, internet, broadbank etc) appear to be the worst at communicating when by their very nature they should be the best!. Anyway I’m back eventually.

Since I was last here there have been two more terrorist attacks, in Manchester and London. Are terrorists really as stupid as they seem to be. No matter what horrendous crimes the perpetrators commit the British will not give in to violence. Manchester was particularly bad as they had targetted a young audience out to enjoy themselves at a pop concert. How they believe they are doing it for Islam beats me. Did they really think  the indiscriminate killing of children and innocent people out to enjoy themselves. How do they know they are not killing Moslems anyway. In the latest London attack did they ask people what religion they were before they stabbed them. How did they know  Moslems weren’t uin the audience in Manchester. The only good thing is that they all the terrorists are dead. Are their families proud of them or are they they not bothered what the think. I believe that 99% of the Moslems in the Uk are peaceable  but those 99% must do more to try to stop these incidents happening. Two things the British mustn’t do is overreacr and have a Moslem backlash and secondly arm all our police force.

A Cambridge professor is claiming Jilly Cooper is as good a writer as Charles Dickens and that she is todays Jane Austen.  What a joke!

Babies born today are likely to live to 104. What sort of changes are they going to see in their lifetimes I wonder.

I hate to see people who are really good at what they do carry on regardless. Tiger Woods is an example. Once the best golfer in the world now in the news last week for being found  asleep in his car at three in the morning  with the engine running, in the middle of a highway. No alcohol in his blood but a cocktail of prescription drugs.  He needs to retire and disappear from the public eye. The same applies to Arsene Wenger the Arsenal manager. He has done a fantastic job over the last 20 years and has nothing to prove. But he wants to go on for another 2 years when his day is clearly done.

In another field where talented people go on too long is music and I do a bit about that next week.

HUMOUR 5% of cats are allegic to humans!

In 1849 the Viceroy of Egypt gave London Zoo a hippo in exchange for a greyhound. Wonder if the hippo won many races?

Vikings who died in bed rather than in battle went to a special afterlife where it was always foggy.

And so we will have our general election next week . The gap between Tories and Labour is quite close. It is likely now to be a lot closer than anyone forecast. Theresa May is quite cacable of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. She has run a campaign on her strong and stable leadership and the only other Tory politician used in the campaogn was her home secretary, Amanda Rudd. She thought the rest were so useless they were kept in a cupboard out of sight. Jeremy Corbyn came across much better than anyone anticipated, but again is backed up by 2nd raters, John McDonnell, shadow chancellor, Emily Thornberry, shadow foreign secretary, and the biggest joke of the whole campaign, Diane abbott, who is just a shadow!!!.

The rest, Lib-dem leader, Tim Farron, has been hopeless, Ukip just an irrelavance and the rest just made up the numbers.  The Scottish Labour party (SNP to you and me), Nicola Sturgeon is starting to tread water while the one who has probably impreesed the most is Ruth Davison, leader of the Scottish Tories.

And the result, the Tories by a short head , Labour and rest just behind meaning the Tories will have a smaller majority and Theresa May will be forced to resign. The new leader will be decided by putting names in a hat. And Brexit, negotiations willl go on and on until we all lose interest. All I can say is “Rule Britannia”

Poem attached, pretty rubbish I’m afraid                 GONE FISHING









I cant believe its a week since my last epistle. I know ive said it before but Im going to say it again . Time seems to go quicker the older you get.

This week the election promises have all been announced. Promises are the wrong word really , suggestions of things we might do if we can get away with it is probably better wordology. But I will return to politics later.

Tesco, our largest supermarket chain this week announced thay are using a model from Merseyside as the face of their new F and F clothing line. Face but not her voice. She has been given a more “suitable”  English accent for England and Scotland and an Irish accent for Ireland. Typical slight for the North!. Im surprised Ant and Dec havent been given sub titles for their show!

I dont usual watch the Eurovision Song Contest but I did this year. Bit I didnt realise Australia was now in Europe! The Uk had their best year for ages and we finished 15th. But the song that won was from Portugal and was sung by a young boy Salvador Sobrai. It was written by his sister. It was a melancholy ballad which he performed  simply by standing on a platform. The rest had orchestras and backing dancers and singers and fantastic special effects in the background. As he said later was it not just about the song.

I though it was totally refreshing.

The weather this week has been a bit of everything but I was reminded how bad it can be on Monday when it was torrential rain. The beach was pretty deserted but one of the professional dog walkers was out and I said to him ” a day like today just reminds us of what it can be like in the middle of winter”. We have had weeks of good beach walking weather recently.

That leads me nicely onto interesting words we dont seem to use anymore.

Trudge-To walk wearily or laboriously. Which was exactly what I did that day in the rain on the beach.

Bedraggled-Wet, limp and dishevelled. Which is the way I was after my walk.

Swill-To flood with water to wash something. It has got other meaning but is rarely used in this context anymore.

Humour- On 28th june 2009 stephen Hawking hosted a party for time travellers from the future. Nobody turned up. Quite a surprise!

Each person in a swimming pool leaves behind between 8 and 20 teaspoonfuls of urine. I’ll try to be more careful in future!

Before he became a spy, then a best selling author John le Carre washed elephants for the Swiss National Circus.

Now the Labour Party has some good policicies but how they are going to pay for them beats me. They want to take back into public ownership, The railways, water, energy companies and Royal mail. And do away with student loans.

The Lib-Dems have some decent policies but wont get into or hold the balance of power so what they say is irrelevant.

Green Party— Ditto.

UKIP—Defunct .

So we are left with conservatives and labour. The Conservatives have stolen Ukip votes by saying they are going to get immigration to the 10’s of thousands. This figure is a joke. Theresa May knows it is, she was responsible for 7 years before she became PM and cooldnt get it down to anywhere near 200,000. Non European was nearly 200,000 last year. Why hasnt that been reduced. The truth is we near foreign workers . Her policy is purely to see off UKIP. Theresa believes she is now the Conserative party and has made the election a presdentil style one. Her against Jerymy Corbyn to negotiate Brexit. All the other issues are irrelevant. She is re-enacting Margaret Thatcher against Michael Foot. She hasnt got the intelligence of Thatcher but is capable of inflicting just as much damage on the country.

She will probably win easily but Im afraid I’d rather vote for Jeremy Corbyn who has at least principles against someone who is totally devoid of them. All she is , is an opportunist.

As a matter of interest finally neither leader is prepared to meet voters who are against them All their meeting are being staged to present to their own supporters. Hypocrisy!!!!!

This week for a change I have attached a short story.                     AN ODE TO OLDNESS









I have always loved words. Written , spoken whatever medium they are delivered in. I went to my local library when I was 7 and remember my first book, not the title but know it was about a parrot. I read it that night and was hooked! I later read most of the classics interspersed with boys books and of course comics of all kinds. I love the way words are used, the order they come in to make a sentence. It is like a jigsaw the correct words have to be chosen to fit in and complete a picture. Whether it a newspaper article, a magazine article, a book , poetry, someone giving a lecture there is a right word that needs to be used. It has to be sought out, considered and chosen to collaborate with others to get the message across. Good writing takes time but it is worth it. I know it is old fashioned but I do feel spelling is important. There is very little excuse for getting it wrong as a dictionary should be at hand for any writer who cares about their work. Also virtually everybody  has a spell check readily available.

Ok that is the written word. I started off with the intention of being an accountant. I also love numbers,( useful for an accountant) but sitting at a desk all day with little communication with others was boring. Now I managed several years but then drifted somehow into sales. In my early days a company car and a expenses account were very attractive and I found I was naturally suited to it. My type of selling to larger companies demanded a constant contact with the same people. So I quickly found that bullshit doesnt work. Telling the truth, being honest and reliable did. The careful use of words in negotiations was just so important. Again chosing the right word mattered.

Youre probably a bit bored by this now so Im going to stop but it is something I intend to revisit in future blogs.

Leading on from that I have three words which have gone out of fashion but I still like:-

jeepers-An exclamation of surprise

guff- foolish talk, nonsense

vexed-irritated or annoyed.

HUMOUR-The record number of live goldfishswallowed at a single sitting is 210.

“At sparrows fart” is slang for very early in the morning!

385 million years ago fish actually had fingers!

In 1971 100 copies of the Bible were taken to the moon. Did they expect to leave them in hotel rooms I wonder.

A footballer in the Chinese league now earns £798k a week. I’m a football fan and I’ve never heard of him. He is Argentinian and his name is Ezequie Lavezzi. The next to are former players in the English Premier, Carlos Tevez, Argentinian £634k a week and Drogba who is an Ivorian earning £507k a week. The money they earn is incredible.

Oh, and Mario Balotelli receives a bonus of 1 million Euros if he is sent off less than 3 timees in a season.

POETRY attached                             WHO IS TO BE THE JUDGE




Have a read about a pill this week that gets you fit without leaving your chair.. What I think they mean is that it keeps your weight down without any exercise but I,m sure it does not make you FIT. Apparently this drug actually burns fat. I hardly think you can run a marathon without training whether you take this drug or not!

In this country we pay a lot for our 4G mobile phone service. Average availability is 65% which puts us behind Peru, Estonia, Latvia and India.  How we cant do better  in a small country like this baffles me.

This year British parents will fund 26% of the purchase of homes, bought  for their children, to the tune of £6.5 up from £5 billion last year. A sympton of our broken housing market!

The song “Careless Whisper” by George Michael has just been voted the most popular song ever knocking John Lennon’s “Imagine” off the top spot. Both fantastic songs.

Adele now has four of the top 10. Incidently Adele made £40 million last year making her worth £125Million. Not bad at 28 but she really is a brilliant performer.

So Cheryl Tweedy, formerly of “Girls Aloud”  and Liam Payne of “One Direction” have decided to call their new baby “Bear” Thats fine for a baby but when they go to school or become an adult are they going to be happy. I doubt it somehow.  Bear Payne, a name fraught with danger in the future.

HUMOUR  The largest lizard in Australia can run as fast as Usain Bolt. I hope it;s not poisonous!

The world’s largest and most complete Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton is called Sue. That’s funny , so was my ex-wife. need I say more.

The expression “you have a turd in your teeth ” was a common insult in 17th century England.

At the 1928 Olmpics oarsman Henry Pearce stopped to let a family of ducks cross his lane and still went on to win the gold medal. Can you see them doing that now?

I love words especially words that sound unusual so I’m going to try to come up with 3 every week. Words this week are:-

bamboozle-meaning to confuse or puzzle.

kibosh-To put an end to.

shenanigans-nonsense, mischief or trickery.

Finally and I deliberately left it to last is the election campaign in the uk.

Our present Prime MInister is running an interesting campaign which appears to be that she will be the least worst between her and Jeremy Corbyn. I suppose it’s a bit like in the US except the worst there seems to have got in. Although he has done very liittle in his first 100 days.  Policies in our election seem to gone out of the window, all the tactics are is that you call the other leader.

Its Friday pm here and we had an election yesterday. It seems that the UKIP party has been totally radicated, which is excellent news. The Labour Party has done badly which is totally unsurprising under a leader who is determined to lead his party into the wilderness. The Conservatives have done well in Scotland against the old Labour Party (now called the SNP) In fact the Conservatives have done well generally. So It looks as if we are to have 5 years of the “The Grey Woman” who will be now telling us how well she has negotited a Brexit deal. Whether she has or not!

And what about the Lib-Dems. Well what about them, indeed!

POem attached           .PAST PRESENT FUTURE



I attended a funeral recently of a 90 year neighbour who fell down stairs and broke his neck and other bones. He was a catholic and there was a service at his church then I attended his cremation. There was 15 people in attendance. Five relatives including his wife and the rest were friends and neighbours. He was a nice old man . Until recently he would walk to our local newsagents every morning and my dog Bruce and I would walk back to our street together. Bruce liked him because he and his wife always gave him treats. Now this man  originally came from Glasgow and he and his wife didn’t have any kids. Obviously a lot of his friends would have been a similar age to him and were probably dead. but I just thought it was so sad that  so few people were at the funeral of a pleasant and kind old gentleman. It made me think of the utter finality of death.

Laura Trott now Kenny received an award this week at Buckingham Palace. For services to the sport of cycling, her new husband receiving the same award. She said “all I do is ride a bike”. This girl has won 3 gold Olympic medals, several world championship medals and European golds. Her husband has 5 Olympic golds so far. This couple are just true sports and actually ride bikes quite well!

The typical Briton apparently is happy only eight times a week!

Humour Misspell is one of the most commonly misspelled words in the  English language!!!

In the Georgian language mama means “father” and deda means “mother”

The Inuit word “iktsuarpok” means ‘to keep going outside to see if anyone’s coming’

Last week a man made a 4 minute film of himself hanging his baby daughter. He posted it on Facebook and it took them 24 hours before they removed it. What sort of organisation is that?

Dame Vanessa Redgrave the 80 year actress is a former leader of the Trotskyist Workers Revolutionary Party and is an ardent supporter of the current Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn. She flaunted her £31k diamond and gold watch in a recent magazine interview. She can obviously afford to be extreme left wing!!!

Boris Johnson the Conservative clown Foreign Minister can not even persuade his own sister Rachel to vote Conserative. She is hoping to stand as a Lib- dem candidate in the future.

Arkansas has managed to execute two of the eight men on death row before their supplies of lethal injection drug passes its sell by date. When it runs out in a weeks time they cannot replace it and may not be able to execute the other six. This is peoples lives we are talking about not sick animals. absolutely inhumane!

Poem attached                                                       THE END



Well, yet another election in the Uk. We have a local one next week to vote for a mayor. Then the biggy in June for who rules the country apart from the Queen that is. Firstly our local mayor , whose function I queried in the local paper last week. Apparently she (currently) runs everything. She is a bit like the President Of the US. She decides who is on the various committees of the local council. She seems to have the final say in all decisions. The mayor has taken over the various roles a leader of the council used to. Except there is a good salary , expenses,  a deputy and the council have just bought a new Jaguar for her to attend the various irrevalent  photo opportunities she attends. In other words another unecessary expensive tier of administation! So I don’t agree with the role but I think everyone should vote  so  I will vote for ALL candidates. In other words my voting paper will be spoilt which is my democratic right.

A drunk man drove at 70 mph in a 30 mph zone. But he wont lose his license  because he runs a company employing 6 men who would lose their jobs if he went to prison. What a joke!

Geoge Osborne our ex Chancellor of Exchequer will stand down as MP for Tatton at the next election. What a surprise, but it it is the least well paid of his several jobs. These people claim they become MP’s , not for the money but because they feel they can make a difference to peoples lives. What hypocrites they are!

Humour— Palm trees are a type of grass. Wouldnt like to mow that lawn!!!

Apparently fruit flies take their time over difficult decisions. BUt what the hell is a difficult decision for a fruit fly?

St. George is the patron saint of England, leprosy and syphilis. ??????

The Romans used powdered mouse brains as toothpaste.

Erdogan , the President of Turkey won the referendum to give him greater powers. He may have “fiddled” the results but as we know dictators are allowed to to do that.

Theresa May is hoping to follow his lead (without cheating) now that she has a 21% lead over Labour. Of course she states that lead is irrelevant even though she previously said she wasnt going to have an election. David Cameron had brought in a law for a  fixed term election every 5 years but she is changing that law. Whats the point of making laws if they can be changed when its expedient?

She has seized this opportunity to eliminate all the opposition, the Labour Party, House of Lords and people in her own party. All so she can do what she likes in the Brexit negotitions. Total self interest! Back to the days of Margaret Thatchers.  If you disagree  “off  with your head”

Im a life long Labour supporter but the Labour party cant win an election under Jeremy Corbyn.  He doesnt seem to get that the Conservatives have a hard core of supporters as have Labour but elections are won by convincing the voters in the middle. Left wing policies will not win the day. So we are likely to be doomed to 5 years, (until 2022) of the plastic Margaret Thatcher. Its a horrorifying prospect.

I can see the LIb Dems doing reasonably well with  their remain in the single European market policy. Dont forget 48% voted to remain!

In the last few years we have £4 million in foreign aid to North Korea. Whats that about?

Poem attached          IF



It’s Good Friday today and something like half the population of the UK eat fish today. I know its for a religious reason but I suspect most people like me cant remember why. Fish and chips make a fortune today.

The reason I  named my blog “beach thoughts” was that I walk my dog on the beach most days and it allows me to think. I also walk him in fields evening and night. About 2 and a half hours in total. It is obviously good for him but it is also hugely beneficial to me to. I got my dog when i retired from work and as I always liked walking thought it logical I might as well have a dog to walk with me. I have in previous blogs extolled the virtues in having a dog this time I,m praising the benefits of my walking. Walking is better than riding a bike , driving a car (I drove between 45-50 thousand miles a year before I retired), being on a boat,  or flying. The only thing that is similarly relaxing is a train journey. The beauty of walking is that on the beach for example every day is different. rocks are in different positions, the sand moves around and even if you walk at the same time everyday because the tide comes in at different times i don’t know what I’m going to see each day. You spot shells, unusual stones, debris from the sea . You need to look down or you will miss something interesting. Also the sea birds change from season to season. When I walk in the fields seasons again change the trees, flowers even the grasses and the crops in the fields. Also the weather is different every day. That is what I see. But while doing this I think about things. if I have problems I can generally come up with an answer as I’m not being interrupted in my thoughts. I also come up with ideas for short stories and poems. Obviously my dog wants his ball thrown or I meet people and chat but most of the time I’m alone with my thoughts. Ok, you probably found this boring and I probably come across as a loner. Well that is not me at all! I love people  and i’m in loads of clubs, watch sport and talk a lot!

Enough HUMOUR. Apparently the facial expressions on lego characters have become increasingly angry over the last 30 years!

People are more likely to co-operate with you if you give them something warm to hold!!!!!

33% of the bread produced in the uk is wasted, compared with 6% wine. No surprise there then!

I have just discovered after 64 years of doing it I have discovered I have been tying my laces wrongly. Mechanical engineers from the University of Berkeley have come up with the best way and it is totally different to mine. Well I’m certainly not changing now!

539 town hall bosses are paid more than the Prime Minister. Local authorities are all cutting services but the bosses have received 11% more in salaries and expenses. And they tell us we have a funding crisis.

Poem attached          FUN AT THE FAIR



This week has been a beautiful week, cold at night but sunny during the day. No rain whatsoever which is unusual for England in April. As I walked the beach one day this week I thought (hence beach thoughts) those of you who have dogs will understand, it was a day we deserve.

We walk in all weathers and most dogs are not interested whether we have snow wind rain. They just want to be out. We wear the appropriate clothes but some days it is a chore to be out in torrential rain, a snowstorm or a bitter wind (in my case straight from the Arctic. So during the nice days it becomes a pleasure. We deserve the good days because we have earned them. It is just wonderful to walk on a sunny day on an empty beach, but I might be strange but there is also a great satisfaction on arriving home on the awful days. We have done our duty to our dog.

I got one of those activity tracking things for Xmas, mine’s a Garmin but there are lots of others on the market. I apparently walk at least 7 miles a day including a mile before breakfast. Thats what a dog does for you. Just read today half of women and a third of British men walk less than half a mile a day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So a Spanish matador got himself gored this week. He’s not dead but just injured especially his pride. Well he should not have tangled with a half maimed angry bull should he? Serves him right. Even thought my favourite author Ernest Hemingway tries to justify bull fighting in his book “Death in the Afternoon” it is just cruel and should be banned.

Apparently there is a cancer risk from a chemical used in potato crisps. You could be in danger if you eat 25 packets every day!

Dog yawns are infectious! Hamsters can only blink eye at a time.

2.8 million American dogs are on antidepressants.

Scotland is (sorry has) the biggest bog in Europe

People who believe in luck are luckier than those who don’t!

So Russia is not immune to terror attacks. Eleven were killed on St. Petersburg Metro this week. Nowhere is safe anymore.

Did you know the British army has more horses than tanks now. And apparently they cost more to maintain. At least it’s reassuring that we are ready for a cavalry attack.

Political correctness gone mad. A 53 year old woman has been awarded £360,000 compensation for one instance of sexual harrassment. Now I’m totally against harrassment of any sort but as she was on £22k a year that is 16 years salary. It’s just too much.

Wallis Simpson who married King Edward Viii causing him him to abdicate from the throne was having an affair with a used car salesman. Disgraceful.

Finally a woman in Scotland has to pay £24,500 parking fees. Apparently it’s a record.

Poem Attached         NOT SO SIMPLE