FORTISSIMO FOR FRIDAY

Another week has gone. We have just over two weeks left for our self isolation in the UK. It looks as if things will be eased off then probably slowly at first. We are expecting some of the schools going back in May, shops and some factories will open.I saw a Oxford professor on the TV tentatively forecasting we may have a vaccine available in Sept/Oct. Ready for millions of the population with some priorities at first. Hopeful news soon.

Deaths and infections are slowly coming down which is also good. Although deaths in care homes are also increasing.

Bear with me I won’t be much longer with the corona news. With out the inevitable inquests into how the government performed during this crisis the facts are likely to emerge that the provision of  safety equipment (SSE) for the NHS and latterly care homes has been far too slow. Also the testing has just this week been improved substantially, but again far too slowly. Finally it is likely that the number of deaths in the UK will be greater than any other country in Europe pro rata to population. I hope civil servants and scientists will not be made scrapecoats rather than the politicians who hopefully deserve a larger part of the culpability.

Sorry that was my rant over.

When I wrote my blog some 4 or 5 years ago it was based on my thoughts while walking my dog Bruce on the beach where I live in Whitley Bay , a seaside town in the North east of England. I have recently moved house which is now closer to the beach in Cullercoats. We live about 10 miles from Newcastle but the Northumberland coast has 60 miles of magnificent sandy beaches. We are the most northerly county in England and the least populated.. We have more castles than any other county and Northumbria was both a centre of Christianty and military might in the 9th century. The coast line was invaded by the Vikings but never occupied . They settled futher south in Yorkshire but were kept at bay by the fierce nature of the local inhabitants.Many battles were fought by the Scots and English in Northumberland which was why we have so many castles. In the southern border of the county is Hadrians wall which some 2000 years ago seperated the Romans from the Picts and the Scots. This area , mainly Newcastle was where the railways were first invented as was the first electric lights. In fact the oldest dedicated commuter railway line  in the world   between North Shields and Newcastle is only 2 miles from where I live. This area is a hugely  important area in history. I will bore you with other facts from the area in the future.

HUMOUR

Aristotle thought small penises were better because semen got cold in large ones! I couldn’t possibly comment on that!

Ancient Greeks declared their love for a woman by throwing an apple at her.

In the Himalayas the smoke from burning millipedes is used to treat haemorrhoids!

It’s illegal in Saudi Arabia for men to work in lingerie stores!

In 2014 a pair of underpants donated by the Mayor of Brussels was stolen from the Brussels Underpant Museum. Interesting!

There are more plastic flamingoes in the USA than real flamingoes.

OLD FASHIONED WORDS

Shindy–A noisy disturbance, commotion.

Shufty– A peak or look.

Guffaw– Loud laughter.

Larrikin– A rough , disorderly person.

Larrup– To whip or flog.

Floozy– A disreputable or loose woman

GEORDIE WORDS

Bleb– A spot or flaw.

Brekks– Trousers.

Howk– Pull violently

Whisht– To be quiet.

Tatty- Unkempt, untidy.

Thank you and good night My poem is attached       .Revelation 2nd draft

 

 

 

 

ANY OLD FRIDAY

It’s a beautiful day. Sun is shining, birds are singing, the sea is nearly blue. A sort of slatey, greyie blue. The North Sea is never a azure blue like the Mediterranean. It is only for the hardier of swimmers and probably only for  about a dozen days a year.. Surfers, (and there is some really good surfing on some of our local beaches) wear wet suits at all times, winter or summer. The North Sea is mainly for fishing and boating on , not really for entering. It is brilliant for watching wild life. Within easy reach of where I live are seal colonies and huge bird sanctuaries on the Farne Isles. Whales , porpoises and dolphins are regular visitors to these shores. I have seen them myself less than a mile out. There is also some of the best diving in the UK off these shores. The point is it is always pretty cold. The beautiful sandy beaches of Northumberland are for bracing walks with dogs not for lying on sunbathing. They are also mainly deserted! They are a secret to the rest of England so please don’t tell anyone about them. we want to keep them to ourselves.

The election squabbling contains unabated. Only about three weeks to go and it will all be over. Then all the successful politicians will go to their club in London, the Houses of Parliament, play their silly games and totally ignore us (the ordinary people)  for five years. The new Government then are safe in the knowledge they have five years to break all their election promises before the next round of lying thro. their back teeth. We are all getting ready to vote for the least worst party and that is those of us who believe we should vote. That is democracy at work in a nut shell!!!!!

Did you know the waste produced at Xmas each year in Britain would fill 400,000 double -decker buses. I didn’t realise we had so many buses! Every time I wait for one it either doesn’t appear or three come at once.

The Persians invented horse-riding and trousers. I wonder which one they invented first?

Due to a computor error in 1989 41,000 Parisians received letters charging them with murder, extortion and prostitution instead of motoring offences. I wonder how they explained the letters to their partners.

The BBC is yet again being criticized  by  the Tories and UKIP for being too left wing. I have never noticed it but do these same people ever read the newspapers. The press is 80% at least right wings. I know the BBC makes mistakes from time to time but it is still a fantastic institution. It is still admired world wide even though there must be thousands of TV and radio channels now. It stands up as a purveyor of unbiased news.

Well I will be going to support my football team Newcastle on Sunday in the hope they might actually win a game soon. In fact scoring the occasional goal would be nice. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

I have attached a selection of Haikus. ( Short Japanese poems)     HAIKUS