Less people in the UK are using trains. Well thats not a big surprise. Prices are now sky high especially for people who use them for work everyday and when you book them last minute. I’m retired and I try to book 2/3 months in advance . i also have a old peoples pass. And the other problem is a lot of the trains are late. There has been a change of timetables recently and some parts of the country in in total chaos. Fo example the Lake District which is a big tourist will have NO trains for two months.

It was a year this week since the GRENFELL fire disaster. An enquiry is going on now. If you read my blog last week you will know some of the things that went wrong. Apparently it will be years before a report is published. I know it takes time to do a thorough job to prevent this ever happening again but the poor people who died and were rescued also need to know answers in order to move on. Not until conclusions are reached will their be any prosecution of companies or individuals. So it will be some years off.

So Trump and Kim Jong-un have reached an agreement and signed some sort of document. Nobody is quite such WHAT has been agreed. Presumably Kim has promised to give up his nuclear capabilies and Trump will withdraw his troops from the Korean peninsula. Also has it been promised that trade sanctions will be lifted against North Korea. In the meantime Kim runs a dIctatorship with hundred’s of thousands of people in prison. Anyone who objects against  the regime is immediately jailed or executed. Did Trump mention any of that in his talks I wonder.

The Uk Obesity rates continue to increase. We are only behind the US now. It is common knowledge that all energy, fizzy and soft drinks are full of sugar. Why don’t governments put some kind of tax on quantities of sugar used in food or drinks. Then companies might look seriously at reducing quantities. Something needs to be done urgently!

HUMOUR-Chewbaca’s voice was created byn combining the sounds of a bear, walrus, a lion and a babger

It is against the law for anyone in Barbados to wear camouflage.

Ants don’t have ears and all the ants in the world weigh about the same as all the people.

The London Underground was originally meant to end in Paris ( And be called the Metro?


OODLES- A great amount, many.

SNECK- Part of the Latch, the door opening mechanism.


SMUTTY-Pornographic, obscene.

There is a new law going thro. parliament making upskirting illegal. Apparently there are men in the Uk putting cameras or phones up womens skirts and taking photos. I know a sheltered life but this a new thing to me!

POEM                                 MISSING YOU




Well I’ve been away for two weeks on holiday. I hope some of you missed me!. I stayed in a small picturesque town in Italy called Castelfranco Veneto. The view from our bedroom was looking down the town square and overlooked towere and part of the !2th century town wall. A good starting point!. We visited Venice, Padua, Verona and Vicenza by train and bus. Venice, a totally unique city is wonderful but unfortunately half the world think that too. The main tourist areas around St. Mark’s Square and the Rialto bridge are crammed. But we took a 2 day pass on the vapporetto (water ferries) and you can find lovely quieter places on some of the other islands and outlying districts. My companion is just besotted by anything Venetian but my preference is to explore some of the quieter alleys which at times can lead you to an unexpected small square with an exquisite church. There are over 130 churches in Venice. The other places we visited Padua, Verona and Vicenza, all have their own raison d’etre and are well worth visiting.

The daytime temperature was a perfect 28-30 Degrees C. and short sleeve weather at night. Which makes it difficult when you return to the North East coast of England where temperatures this week have been between 13-18 C. The rest of England has been warmer but we have to endure mist and fog. Invariably the weather forecast for England shows beautiful blue skies everywhere except for a dark dark cloud hanging over our stretch of coastline. And this our summer!

After at least 15 years of talking about it the Government has decided a third runway at Heath Row is necessary. Even if this is finally agreed soon it will not be open until 2026.

In the Grenfell  Tower fire enquiry it has been agreed it was a total fire hazard. Nobody should have been living there.Short cut after short cut was taken in exterior cladding, windows that didn’t fit properly, fire doors that weren’t and escape exits non existant. Apart from that the fire brigade told people to stay in their flats. All in all mistakes were made from start to finish. But will people in authority be punished? I’ll be surprised. No doubt those further down the hierarchy will be blamed while the top people will escape any punishment. I wait to be surprised!

HUMOUR-The DC Comics character Snowflame got his superpowers frm cocaine.

If you fire lasers at the brain of a fly you can make it have sex with a ball of wax.

Snails can sleep for 3 years. The ones in MY garden don’t!

A baby porcupine is called a porculette. Amazingly.

A school in Oxfordshire has banned it’s boy pupils from wearing shorts in the summer. But they can wear skirts if they want.

Did you know you have to queue to climb Everest now. Apparently 600 people attemt it every year and you have to wait your turn.

Some of the fruit and vegetables are rotting in the fields because farmers cant recruit enough people to pick them. We are not allowing sufficient immigrants in to take the jobs. And the lazy  British think picking crops is beneath them . They would rather pick up their benefits.

Yet another dead whale washed ashore this week. It had 80 plastic bags in its stomach. A couple of months ago a 32 foot sperm whale was washed up in Spain with 64 lb. of rubbish in its stomach. When are countries going to take proper action . Not just talk about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The ruling body of football FIFA this week fined Russia £22,000 for racial abuse , a English player was fined £16,000 for drinking an unapproved FIFA drink while sitting on the bench and a Turkish club were fined £29,000 fo a cat running on the pitch during a game. TAlk about getting your priorities right!

POEM attached        VENICE


At last summer has appeared on the horizon.The winter has been long and cold and spring was non-existent. In the last three wekks as temperatures have at last risenthe growth of everything has been phenomenal.Flowers such as bluebells normally out in March/April have virtually leapt out ofthe ground.Blossom on trees and shrubs has rapidly come and goneand trees are now in full leaf. Plants have virtually grown daily in an effort to catch up lost time.Everything is is a bright green , trees and grass with the new growth. It really is a beautiful time of the year.

Today is a royal wedding.I wish the couple a long and happy marriage! That is really my only interest. But we British do this sort of event better than any other country in the world, we are helped by places like Windsor Castle. We have some many castles and stately homes as backdrops it makes the occasion spectacular. Good luck Harry and Meghan.

Postscript. Beggars in Windsor were offered free accommadation to take them off the streets for the occasion. They refused as there were rich pickings to be had on the streets!

Anybody see the photo of La Toya Jackson this week. she has obviously had some work done on her face and now looks the spitting image of brother Michael.

On the day of the USA embassy being opened in Jerusalem 58 people were killed and approx 2000 people injured on the Israeli/ Gaza border. Every one of them was from Gaza. I know Hamas is a semi pseudo terrorist organisation who Israel blame for everything that goes wrong but have they forgotten they were also terrorists when the British occupied Palestine after the 2nd World War. When is the UN including USA going to get some sort of dialogue going between the two countries. Or will it just go on forever?

Congrats to the Government for at last reducing the maximum stake from £100 to £2 in gaming machines in betting shops.It was possible to lose £100 every 20 secs.

I’m not against same sex marriages in any way but is it not a bit silly to suggest same sex dancers on Strictly Come Dancing.Apparently a male pair just reached the final in the Italian version.

There has been a campaign running for volunteers inc. children to collect rubbish from beaches and other public places.Why don’t we concentate on training people inc. kids to NOT throw away rubbish in the first place?                                                                                                                                                          Another 10 children were killed at a school in Texas this week . So Trumps  firearms policy is working well. Going to school is just so dangerous in the US.

SHINDIG-A dance or a party.

DIPPY- Crazy

SCRAM-Leave in a hurry.

FLUMMOX-To confuse or perplex


65% of Pakistani soldiers have dandruff.

Whoopi Goldberg used to be a bricklayer.

Nobody knows how big Pluto is. (the planet by the way)

The closer a woman is to the Equator the more likely she is to have a boy!

Poem attached                DOWN WITH THE TABLET





I was in London last week and stayed in a small apartment in Hammersmith. I have done most of the main attractions but visited some of the smaller ones this time. William Hogarth’s house and grave in Chiswick and Chiswick House nearby. Hampstead Heath and Highgate Cemetery , Sir John Soanes museum together with the Shard and old favourite the Victoria and Albert museum.

Now in Highgate cemetery Karl Marx is buried. A tabloid newspaper attributes 10’s of millions of death down to his philosophies of Communism. He proposed “Workers of the World Unite” But by definition what is a worker?  Is it not anyone who works? He wanted workers to control the economy but someone has to take the lead. Pure Cmmunism is impossible, everyone cannot be equal, it is a contradiction of terms. What is unfair is that the richer are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer And, the gap is growing. Karl Marx is blamed for millions of deaths but the other side of the coin  is that Fascism is just as bad. It is also an ideology that has killed millions. Then throw in religion and power hungry politicians and rulers and you have the reason for virtually all the known unnatural deaths. Yes it’s a cruel world


The National Trust  had a salute to suffragettes last week , a tea towel. Hardly appropriate somehow!

It is the Eurovision Song Contest. Now you might think this about music. Well it is in a way. Somehow it includes Australia, Israel and Turkey who are not in Europe. But it is all about politics, nobody likes the UK or Germany so dont vote for us. And other countries like Cyprus always give Greece high marks.. It is on TV  tomorrow night!

Two things amused me this week, the price of vanilla is now higher than silver. Madagascar produces 80% of the world crops and they have had several bad harvests due to drought and disease.

And secondly it is apparently quicker to have cocaine delivered to your home than a pizza. Some survey claims this is the case.

HUMOUR King Francis 1 of France hung the “Mona Lisa” in his bathroom. Did he not know it was valuable!

Two teaspoons of Botox are enough to kill the whole of the UK.

A popular way to cure impotence in the 14th century was to wear  your trousers on your head for 24 hours.

My poor Labrador, Bruce has had an operation to repair the ligaments in his knee this weak. I have to try to keep him from moving around too much. He is also supposed to wear a buster collar over his head at all times. How you are supposed to keep a boisterous dog quiet for at least three weeks beats me!


FAFF-To dither, or be flustered (normally with about)

PERNICKERTY-To be be fussy or precise.

RUCTIONS- noisy, confusion or uproar.

SNAGGLETOOTH- A tooth that sticks out from the rest.

Poem attached                                        JUST A BOY AND A GIRL


Yes, i know its not Friday!. I seem to have less and less time to do things including this blog, recently. And that got me to thinking. Im 72 going on 73 and 30 years ago when my Dad was this age I thought he was old. But what is old? Is it classified by the age you are, the physical condition of your body or the state of your mind? probably all three. Since my dads time a lot of things have changed. My diet is a lot better, I dont smoke now( I used to on a social basis) and I certainly do more exercise than he did. I have a dog and I walk with him 5/6 miles everyday for about two and a half hours everyday. My diet is higher in fruit and veg., I use semi skimmed milk, dont fry things generally and eat very little fast food. Healthy options are much more accessible these days. This works in my case but it is ironic while they are much more readily available obesity has dramatically increased since my Dads days. His diet was high in stodge but they did walk more and use bicycles when he was younger.

The other helpful contributory factor in keeping healthy is using ones brain. Im involved in an organisation called U3A (in fact Im the local chairman this coming year. It is an organisation set up for educational purposes for people who arent in full time employment. It is generally people who have retired. We run classes in all sorts of things , natural world, theatre groups, art, music, gardening, archaeology, IT, psychology, creative writing and more physical things to such as indoor bowls, country walks and tai chi. There are about 27 groups in total. I also love all sports watching rather than participating now but I do go on a weeks long distance walking every year. A one this year following Offa’s Dyke, basically the border between England and Wales.

I write poetry and short stories and this blog every week. And i love travelling both home and abroad. that is another difference between dad and myself. Travelling abroad is so much easier and of course cheaper.

So yes Im old in years but Id like to think I have gained knowledge (and still learn something everyday) am pretty fit and keep myself very busy. My Dad died at 84 so who knows I might have a good few years in me yet!

HUMOUR The US doubled in size in 1983. How? When Ronald Regan expanded its coastal waters fro 3 to 200 miles!

The coastline of Norway is long enough to circle the planet two and a half times!

In 1922 Ernest Hemmingway’s wife lost his entire life’s work by leaving it on a train

Car theft in the UK has increased dramatically in the last few years. Which isnt really surprising when you can buy from Amazon a Ford pick lock, blank and key programming device coting about £100. How mad is that?

Good news from the Government at last . They are going to reduce the allowed stake on gambling machines from £100 to £2. Currently gamblers could stake £100 every 20 seconds.

OLD WORDS Mollyycoddle- To pamper or protect.

Floosie- A loose woman.

Snaffle-To steal

POEM Attached       CHANGE





Well the weather has changed dramatically. We are not bothering with Spring this year. We have jumped straight into Summer. (Or so it seems.) Plants  and flowers are weeks behind normal but all of a sudden there is blossom on the trees and the flowers and plants have burst in life. Have you ever noticed how much how much happier people are when the sun is shining. They smile more, say good morning and generally linger to have a conversation. I suspect productivity is better and not as many days are lost on absenteeism. I haven’t seen any figures but I would also suspect people will be healthier too. For us dog walkers who were out whatever the weather during winter  we deserve the better weather now.  We have earned it.

The biggest story this week involves West Indians, 50,000 of them who arrived here with their parents. The Home officer has tried to evict them as they didnt have the necessary paperwork, which the Home Office itself managed to destroy. Some people lost all their benefits, some were denied cancer treatment, some were detained but worst of all they were threatened with deportation. The Prime Minister has apologised and it is likely they will all be compensated.  Apparently it was all a big mistake. Nobody so far has admitted it was their fault. No doubt some lowly official will be eventually blamed while the top officials having said “sorry” and given them money to go away thinnk they have done enough!. By the way it is our money, the tax payer’s money they are giving away!

But even worse Europe is now worried that our Home Office cant handle 50,000 people properly how are they going to process after the 3 million Europeans nationals living in this country after Brexit. It doesn’t inspire confidence.

This country is discussing ways to cut down on the use of plastic. We talk about these things forever and take years before we do anything. France have already banned a lot of them now. Another case of actions speak louder than words.

A woman who killed someone while driving while drunk pretended she was blind, disabled and had a brain tumour. She had previously been jailed for falsely accusing a man of rape. Fortunately she wasnt believed and she got 9 years in jail. Excellent.

Humour.Half of all human beings have mites living in their eyelashes. Have you checked yours recently/

Elvis was naturally blonde.

Blonde footballers are 15% more likely to score in penalty shootouts than dark-haired footballers.

On average Britons will eat 1,126 chickens in their lifetimes.

So, we are going to get blue passports which we dont need, printed by a foreigner company and the British company who print them now will pay off some of their workers who I presume pay tax and national insurance. Is that not a bit silly?

Why doesnt the Labour party just kick out all the anti Semitics in the party rather than just talk about it/

Poem attached      SECRETS




Well its been a bit of a strange week. Weather on the East coast here still winter-like wet and cold. Im in a walking club and it was my turn to organise it. What happened it rained all day so it was cancelled!. i dont know how many of you own pets especially dogs. They are an extremely expensive item. my labrador, Bruce has had a limp for a couple of weeks. so i took him to the vets. After a course of anti inflammatories it was decided he needed treatment. So he needed an x-ray costing £500 when it would be decided what operation would be needed. Im waiting for the expert to come back to me but he has knee and hip problems and costs are likely to be between £2500- £3000. Ok Im insured but when a vet quotes prices you cant negotiate like you can with other items or services. Thats the price, take it or leave it!. Somebody told me recently the best professions to encourage your children into are either to be a vet or a dentist. Anyway Bruce will get the best treatment what ever the cost. He is only 8!

Apparently Mariah Carey has just been diagnosed as being bi-polar. I thought she has always had it.  On tour she has asked for puppies to be provided, didnt do stairs ever , wore high heels even in the gym. Also bought all the seats on a flight so she could travel alone and had bdy guards surround her in a restaurant so other diners couldnt see her eat. But worst of all had her limousine drive around until her hotel had a candle lined red carpet out for her. At two o’ clock in the morning. AND she wasnt strange before??????

The Government is putting extra money into prostrate cancer screening and research.My own prostrate cancer was picked up in 2000 when they was screening for people over 50. Mine was picked up, monitored and then I had radio-therapy which cured me. The Prime Minister is claiming this as if it new idea when her predecessor David Cameron cut the funding for the previous scheme!!!

Humour___The Daleks in Dr. Who were based on the Nazis.

Charles Dicken’s son Francis, was a Tony Blair Canadian Mountie.

In 1948 a single law was brought out in Spain banning blasphemey, wood-chopping and keeping poultry.

People eating in a group of 7 or more eat twice as much as people eating alone!

Tony Blair was hugely criticised for being George Bush’s poodle when we invaded Iraq. Nobody seems to think Theresa May is Donald Trumps “chihuahua” in the present Syrian situation. So whats the plan kill some more Syrian civilians who happen to be in the way?

Read in the paper wild bears are being kept in small cages for all their lives  in Armenia for wealthy owners to show off. This is appalling!

Poem attached                      HOPELESS



We had Easter holiday last weekend and the weather as it so often is was awful. So people with children look desperately for somewhere to take their kids. The favourite seems to be (certainly not mine) retails parks and large shopping malls. I thought it quite amusing this week when there was a two-hour traffic jam in a “Ikea” car park. Some of the angry motorists said they could have built some of their flatpack furniture in the time it took to get out!

The passport row goes on. A government spokesman apparently said “everyone” wants the new blue one for when we come out of Europe. I dont know anyone who actually cares what colour it is. But to rub salt in the wound the contract has been awardedto a Dutch-French company. We in the UK have the largest printer of passports and currency in the world but the contract is going elsewhere. The US, France, Germany, Italy and Spain all print their own so why cant we?

A 78 year old man was asleep in bed with his disabled wife when burglars broke into his house. He was taken downstairs under threat of violence while another burglar ransacked the house. The burglar and the man grappled and the burglar ended up being stabbed. He escaped but died later in the street. The burglar has a long criminal record stretching back years. So what was the conclusion. Well, the 78 year old is out on bail for murder of course. What nonsense. The buglar got what he deserved!!!!


Jiggery Pokery—Deception or trickery.

Hanky Panky— means the same.

Hang dog—Ashamed or cringing, as in expression.

Scram— Leave in a hurry.

This will no doubt be controversial but that has never stopped me before. Theresa May has found a subject to become her equivalent of the Falkland Isles invasion. What the truth is about the Salisbury’s poisonings I really don’t know although I suspect the Russians did have something to do with it. But it has now been going on for four weeks now and no concrete evidence has been established as to how or who did it. But of course the clown of a Foreign Secretary was opening his mouth 2 days after it happened before anyone knew anything. But the whole incident has certainly taken everyone’s eye off the “Brexit” which is what Theresa May wanted.

Having said that Jeremy Corbyn has not sorted out the anti Semitic stigma the Labour Party has. The trouble is if you support the Palestine cause are you deemed to be anti-Semitic?

HUMOUR–90% of people remember their first kiss more vividly than the first time they had sex.

A group of hackers once took down Papa John’s website because their pizza was late.

24% of Britons have cereal for supper not breakfast. I did know somebody who did that to save him time in the morning!

Until 1940 fake snow in the movies was cornflakes painted white.

National Health Service admissions for obesity related conditions rose 20% last year. We talk plenty about doing something about it but nothing ever seems to happen.

In the first two months of this year the murder rate in London exceeded New York’s.  Considering we have few guns on our streets it is virtually all knife crimes. We need to bring back “stop and search” and have more police on the streets. Who did away with “stop and search” Theresa May when she was Home Secretary” of course!

Poem attached        FORGOTTEN




It is Easter Monday. It is 2 degrees outside and trying to snow. The walk on the beach today with dogs was a chore not a pleasant experience. Officially Spring started last week and flowers and the blossom on trees is at least 6 weeks later than last year. Which leads me on neatly to a bad vanilla harvest this year which will cause the price of vanilla ice cream to go up dramatically. WE are going to need a drastic weather change to sell at all!

HYPOCRITES 1—- Airlines that actually charge extra for seats together for families. Of course it IS stated in the small print of their terms.

HYPOCRITES 2—- Some TV personalities who appear on TV charity quiz shows who actually charge for appearance money. The audience assume they ARE making an appearance for charity. Greedy bastards!

HYPOCRITES 3— We all know Donald Trump is a hypocrite but so is Karen McDougall the ex Playboy model who was aghast when he ALLEGEDLY offered money when they had sex. she “wasn’t that sort of girl”, but it was ok to live in the flat she was given in New York for the 10 months she had an affair with him. Stormy Daniells is the other woman who claimed they had sex and she was paid hush money. Do these woman find him so attractive or is it something else?

Alpecin shampoo and Sensodyne toothpaste have had their TV adverts banned as the shampoo doesn’t help reduce hair loss and the toothpaste doesn’t make your teeth any whiter, Is this a new thing that adverts for products actually have to tell the truth?

HUMOUR 1 in 5 people in Wales haven’t been kissed for a year.

People who believe in luck are luckier than those who don’t!

Frank Sinatra took 12 showers a day. What a clean man!

Stan Laurel successfully cross-bred a potato with an onion but couldn’t pursuade anyone to eat it

Apparently David Davis the politician in charge of the Brexit negotiations appeared on TV on the Andrew Marr show with a bucket by his side as he felt ill. Would it not have been more sensible to have it next to Andrew Marr who had to listen to David Davis spouting his usual sick making rubbish about Brexit?

Jacob Rees-Mogg the Tory politician who says he is not interested in being the the Prime Minister is being supported by his mother who says she doesn’t believe he is a toff and his nanny who thinks he will make a excellent P.M. Are they not a little biased?

People used to called John Major , an ex P.M. a grey man . Well Theresa May puts him totally in the shade. In fact she is a greyer shade of grey!

OLD WORDS—-GUFF—Foolish talk, nonsense.

FAFF— To dither or be flustered (usually faff about)

KERFUFFLE—a commotion, disorder, agitation.

WISHY-WASHY—not decisive, weak. Also means watery or insipid.

POEM attached       LIVING LIFE




Its supposed to be spring , in fact it WAS officially this week. but it is still freezing and the plants in my garden are about 2 months behind where they were last year. Easter is next week and apparently we are due more snow on Good Friday. This seems to have been the longest winter i can remember, 5 months and counting!

Noel Gallagher and his brother Liam , of Oasis fame hate each other1 .but a saying Noel said about his brother this week amused me. He said “he’s like a man with a fork in a world of soup” Nice one I thought.

In the UK we have fruit machine which take a stake of £100 per 20 secs. This works out at £18,000 per hour. People are getting into debt using them as they are addictive. the government are going to change the law to only allow £30 every 20 secs., only £5,400 an hour. Why dont they really reduce it to £5 every 20 secs. IT would still be far to high!

What a great story. a man bought a photo off E-bay for £7. Turns out it is a photo of Jesse James, the American outlaw taken in the early 1860’s. It is worth something like £2 million. What great luck!

We British like to even now keep our standards up. Men will not be allowed in at Royal Ascot this year without socks. Quite right too. Shoes without socks are really uncomfortable anyway.

Now we are coming out of Europe we are changing the colour of our passports to blue. Our wonderful prime minister things this is a great statement but most of the population dont care what colour they are! The contract over 10 years is worth £490 million. just to change the colour. But even worse the contract is likely to go to a Dutch -French company. The Home Secretary , Amber Rudd apparently signed off the contract without even knowing who’d won it. How on earth can we allow a foreign country to print our passports. Yes there’s was the cheaper price but if the British company, De La Rue got it they would employ more men who would pay taxes which go into the public purse. Also the foreign company who won the contract have financial problems and arte being partly taken over by the French government. Absolute stupidity!!!!!!!

Facebook owner, Mark Zuckerberg has had a terrible week. His company have been passing on info relating to 50,000,0000 customers without their knowledge. But the worst thing is , beacause the shares in the company have gone down he has lost £5 billion. He is now down to his last £43 billion. You really have to feel sorry for him don’t you?

HUMOUR- Clams can live for 400 years.

Not on my beach can they!

This is really useful! A grasshopper becomes more sociable if you stroke its hind legs. But I dont know what it means by – mor sociable.

Palm trees are a type of grass.

Lava lamps were invented by an accountant whose hobby was making underwater nudist films EH?

Finally it wouldn’t be a blog these days without a mention of our Donald. This week he is putting an embargo on Chinese goods and they are doing the same with US goods. He is going to execute all drug dealers, and his son is getting divorced because he has had an affair with a Playboy model. The Trumps have got a great reputation with women have they?

Poem attached     SCHOOL HOLIDAYS