I read an article recently and it had never occurred to me that Jesus Christ is always depicted as having blonde hair and fair skin. The truth is (I assume) he was Jewish, dark skinned and had black hair. He would certainly have been of a Middle-Eastern appearance.  Now I will confess I am an Agnostic.( that is I don’t know if a God exists or not) I was brought up by my parents to believe in God and they were brought up as Presbyterian (A mainly protestant faith worshipped in Scotland0. I went to Sunday School until I drifted away from religion as an adult. It was hypocritical but I got married in Church and both my children were baptised. I became an Atheist ( I didn’t believe in God) but in 1999 when my son died at 18 in an accident I hoped that I might find contact with him in Heaven or some sort of afterlife. And after I died there might be some kind of reunion. I would suspect a lot of people would want this to happen. However I have never felt any sort of contact or even a suspicion of contact. I lot of people have put coincidences down to fact. Even I though would love to pretend I have had any contact whatsoever I haven’t. But in the hope I will see him again I have to cling onto the hope there is a afterlife. So I therefore call myself an Agnostic at present.

That is my take on religion. I know there are billions of people in this world who base there daily lives on various religions. They believe in some form of God. I have no problem with that but I don’t understand why people kill each other for the sake of different religions. All Gods (or possibly different forms of the same God) surely should be good. Forgive people their sins , help and be kind to their fellow citizens. To me there should be a common bond in Gods where they are good. In a lot of ways it is the Devil or Satan who should be the force for evil.  But in the world today there are more wars and conflicts because of religion than ever. People kill others because they worship the wrong God. Or are they worshiping the Devil, who knows.

When children go back to school full time in September the majority will have lost a full 6 months education. Some will never catch up again. But the worry for me is the impact of the mental health of both children and their parents. There is likely to be severe unemployment  and for those parents on already reduced circumstances it will be a struggle. I don’t think the government realise how long it will take for things to improve again. For some possibly never.


In Newcastle upon Tyne , gay means “owning a coat”.

An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

I have often wanted to drown my troubles but I can’t get my wife to go swimming!

My dad always used to say “always fight fire with fire” That’s probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.

My son has taken up meditation. At least it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.

One in ten Europeans is now conceived in a IKEA bed.


HIGGLEDY- PIGGLEDY– In disorder, confusion.

HIGH HAT–Snobbish, to snub.

HIPPOCAMPUS–Sea monster , horse head with a dolphin tail.

LINGUA FRANCA– A hybrid language used in Mediterranean ports.

BOBBY DAZZLER– Anything that is outstanding

BLUESTOCKING–A learned bookish woman.


STOTTIE– A type of flat round loaf

PAN HAGGERTY– Type of stew made from potatoes, onions and cheddar cheese, sometimes with cabbage.

SINGING HINNIES– Type of scone, which makes a hissing sound on a griddle.

PEASE PUDDING– Yellow split peas, a savoury vegetable dish.





Well it’s been another week of corona virus deaths but I suppose at least they are gradually reducing. well they are in the Uk but the worst off countries are now Brazil, Peru and Russia. Once tthe virus runs its course there are going to be inquests in each country as to which handled the pandemic and why. I would suspect our government will come out of it very badly. But knowing what politicians are like generally there will be lots of excuses and passing the buck to lowly civil servants.

When will Trump do the right thing and unite his country rather than divide it. His first reaction was to blame state governors and threaten to bring in the military.  The murder (which it undoubtly was) of George Floyd was yet another black man killes by police. Has there been huge improvements since Martin Luther King’s death 52 years ago? I would suspect not a lot. Possibly when Barack Obama was president but the situation under Trump has deteriated. I know it easy to claim racial harmony in the Uk is marginally better but it it is still not good . However at least most police are unarmed still and the average person doesn’t have easy access to firearms. The opposite is the case in the US. Surely there would be less deaths for both black and other citizens if there was some kind of gun control. Lets hope Trump doesn’t win the race for the presidency this time.

If you read my blog on a regular basis you will know I have a 10 year old yellow labrador called Bruce. A lot of labradors suffer arthritis in their back legs and Bruce had a operation 2 years ago and has a plate in a back leg. The operation cost nearly £4000 , which I claimed off insurance . But my vet suggested he should have the same operation on the other leg, again costing £4000. But it was considered a related injury so the insurance company won’t pay. Bruce now take pain killers daily, anti-inflammatories and  natural vitamens everyday. However he then took a course of hydrotherapy and he is like a new dog. I intend having further classes on a regular basis and hopefully the new operation mightn’t be necessary. We love our dogs but they can be very expensive!

A recent study has shown that cholesterol levels have fallen dramatically in the UK.

In a way that is good. And experts say less saturated fat in our diet and treatment of high blood pressure is good. But all that is happening is that more people are taking statins to reduce high blood pressure. Surely the answer is that people should eat less, have a heathier diet and exercise more!. Taking statins is just a lazy way out!


MANGLE- An oldfashioned machine that pressed water out of clothing using wooden rollers.

GOBBLEDYGOOK– Pompous or wordy talk.

GOODY GOODY– Moral or pious person


HORNSWOGGLE– Swindle or trick.

HOOEY– Nonsense.

HOOHA– Noisy fuss or commotion


If you fire lasers at the brain of a fly you can make it have sex with a ball of wax, but why would anyone want to do that?

Snails can sleep for 3 years. I wish that those in my garden would!.

A baby porcupine is called a porcupette. Of, course!

Elizabeth I always slept with a woman in her bed, did she never have a threesome?

Also Elizabeth invented a gingerbread men (or women)

Hugh Hefner had someone present to sort his crisps so he didn’t have to eat broken ones!


HACKY– Dirty


KITE– Stomach or belly

GULLY–A type of knife

HOWDY– Midwife

LIGGY– Type of marble in a game.

Back to a POEM this week                        IN PURSUIT OF GIANTS




Bad news first but fleetingly only I promise.

The corona virus has resulted in  the UK having the 2nd more deaths in the world but there were still more than 300 yesterday. Lock down is now easing but that is because Boris Johnson is making political decisions rather than scientific reasons. He is so concerned about getting the economy moving the number of deaths diminishing is now deemed acceptable. Unfortunately deaths are being counted in numbers rather individuals , somebodies mother, father, sister etc. Just making a point.

I am now in my seventies and having a bit more time to think during lock down I have been reading my short stories and poems. In fact re-reading them! I must write down in words incidents and memories of what I would consider a reasonably interesting and eventful life. I have traveled a lot in the UK and abroad both for my career and personally. In the UK alone I estimate I have driven more than 1.3 million miles. In a way this leads to my first trip abroad. I was 19 , in 1964, and lived in a small industrial town called Blyth. Most people worked down the mines or ship yards. They have all long since gone. Blyth is located on the Northumbrian coast in North-East England. Very industrrial but has as a contrast beautiful beaches! I hadn’t long left school and my friend and I decided on our first holiday abroad. When you realise we flew from Newcastle airport, which then consisted of two green corrugated iron “Nissan” huts and is now a substantial international things have changed somewhat!. We flew in a dull evening in September and rising above the clouds was this stunningly beautiful sunny white desert . I was captivated and i still am after flying hundreds of time since. More was to come that evening, we flew down to Heath Row and as the sun had set by then flew over  central  London with its bright city lights. A  magic scene! Much more was to come.  We departed later that evening and flew over central Paris seeing the unforgettable vista .   The seven days in Paris was a whirlwind. We visited the normal sightseeing places, Versailles and Malmaison, obviously the Louvre, strolled down the Champs-Elysees  climbed the Eiffel Tower and Arc de Triomphe.  But also remember we were 19 so the real eye openers were in Montmartre where we stayed, the Follies Bergere, the Moulin Rouge and the Lido. We had never seen topless women before. Paris was my first ever trip abroad and it is still my favourite city. I have been many times since but there is an ambience, an atmosphere a romance about the city and the people. I have travelled all over the world and been to many wonderful places but I’m always drawn back to Paris. I suppose that first memory is special and it certainly was for a boy from Blyth!

HUMOUR-Prisoners from Alcatraz prison always had showers so they did not get acclimatised to cold water and try to escape by swimming!

In 2002 the US military developed a sandwich which stays fresh for 3 years. Who tried it out after the 3 years I wonder?

Japan has as many bank holidays as the UK, including “Greenary Day” and “Respect for the Aged” Wonder if Boris Johnson knows this?

Grapples are apples that taste like grapes.

Ancient Romans ate puppies.


Pettish– Cross or petulant.

Midden– Rubbish dump.

Middy– 1/2 pint of beer.

Miff– Sulk, go in the huff.

Mike– Skulk, or avoid hard work.

Faff– To dither, be flustered.



Fret– sea mist.

Gandie– A look.

Ganzie– Jumper.

Hefty– Large

Hoppings– a fair.

Just a footnote. fotr several weeks now I have vehemently criticised the UK Health Secretary, Matt Hancock for his performance during the corona virus. I am a supporter of, in fact a season ticket holder of Newcastle Utd football team. I have just discovered he is an ardent fan , does that mean I have to like him?

SHORT STORY. rather a poem this week.




I’ve had enough of this coronavirus, all these infections and deaths. I’m just fed up of talking about it. There’s not a lot I can do , continue life and stay safe, encourage my friends and family to be sensible and carry on until the immediate future. There is no question at my age life will be different but there will be a new normality which we will have to cope with.

So about four years ago I started to write a blog as you can tell from the heading it was Beach Thoughts- An  old dog and his bloke. Well my dog was younger then not old and I was the bloke who was old and still is just even older. I hope you understand that, it was all just a play on words. Anyway I walked on the beach where I live and every day was different. The beach changes , the tides ebb and flow , the sand moves, tides bring in all sorts of debris. I have never failed to be fascinated by the power of the waves and why the sea has never been used as an energy source to any great extent baffles me. The prevailing  weather at the coast is amazing , it can be windy in one direction then it changes direction and brings in clouds and rain. Or there are days where I can’t see the local lighthouse for fog then the sun breaks through and it is a glorious morning. Or in the winter when it starts to snow on a beach there is no where to go. But when your dog wants to go swimming  no matter the weather winter or summer it would be unthinkable to deprive him of the privilege. The clothing you wear is hugely important and once you brave the elements there is a certain type of masochism involved. All in all no matter what the weather is like I just love being in the open on the this everchanging  vista of beach. And while I walk I think. It allows me to open my mind to the freedom of my thoughts. I  try to remove my mind of everyday worries and gives me the clarity of more creative thoughts. Inspiration I suppose for poems, stories locked away in everyday life. Too profound it might be but it does work for me. Ok I’m lucky to have the environment and I would certainly accept that having a dog who has an insatiable appetite for walking helps. Oh, and because I am retired. That certainly helps.

HUMOUR– Did you know that Woody from Toy story’s last name was Pride?

Until January 2013 it was illegal for women in Paris to wear trousers!

People will gamble more if they are holding a crocodile. Holding a crocodile would be a gamble enough for me!

The original Popeye got his strength from rubbing a chicken. Spinach growers must have been delighted.

Crisp packets contain nitrogen!

Orthodox Jews can buy kosher sexual lubricants!


Hurry scurry– Turmoil, uproar

Foretoken-Prophetic sign, omen

Foozle–To make (or do) something awkwardly,

Fogbow– A phenomenon like a white or tinted rainbow.

Offing– A distant part of the sea from the shore.

Oozle–To steal.


Champion–Good or brilliant.

Chare– Lane

Cuddy– A horse

Dowie– depressed

Dunch– To bump or crash.

Femmer– weak                                                                                                                                        POEM ATTACHED                                                 HOMECOMING




Today in the UK is the 75th Anniversary of VE day (Victory in Europe) . It is a celebration in a way for liberation but on the other hand 21 million Europeans were killed . Many more were injured. That was only the military losses plus all many million civilians. I totally understand the relief and the sacrifice of people when victory was announced. But it cant be a total celebration. Wars kill ordinary people due to politicians and religious fanatics. Even today where the coronavirus dominates world news  wars continue. People are still dying but it is not news worthy. When will we ever learn!

The UK are now leading the number of deaths in Europe. And they are still growing. I will not elaborate the point but our Government have not at any stage got to grip with this virus. Everything has been too little , too late. Testing, we still have not consistently met the so call 100,000 target at the end of April and Boris the clown is now going for 200,000! As I have said before promises, promises never facts only wish lists. Testing has been too slow as has the supply of Safety equipment and leadership skills and organisational abilities are non existent. This government has blamed austerity on everything over the last few years. The local authorities were starved of cash for social care in the community and that is the main reason the death toll in care homes is so high.. I also think after this is all over the state of mental health in this country will have to be reassessed drastically.

Just finally on this subject has no one thought it might have been useful to create a coalition or interim National government to sort out this current crisis?

An old soldier Captain Tom Morgan who has justed turned 100 raised £39 million for NHS charities. The internet company Just Giving charge 5% to administer for this charity. So they made £308,000 profit out of raising funds. What a pathetic performance, they must have no shame!

Last week I spoke about some local facts to the area I live.

Firstly the ship the HMS Resolute was built at Smiths Dock in 1850 at North Shields where I live.It was a sailing ship and was sent on an expedition to the Arctic in 1854. It was trapped in the pack ice and abandoned.  It was rescued by a US whaler and renovated  back in a port in the US. She was given as a present from the US to Queen Victoria. The ship was subsequently broken up and her timbers were made into furniture. In 1880 Queen Victoria gave President Hayes a desk for the White House in Washington. That desk known as the Resolute desk is still used by the current President, Trump! Wow

A William Smith was born in Seaton Sluice, a small village 4 miles away from my home, in 1790. He became a ships master and had a small sailing ship built. It was called the “The Williams” In 1819 he subsequently sailed from Buenos Aires in Argentina on his way to Valparaiso in Chile and inadvertently sailed to undiscovered land.He had landed on the South Shetland peninsular. He was the first man to discover the continent of the Antarctic.


American tank crews have a superstition that will not allow them to eat apricots, allow them on board or even say the word apricot.

Traffic lights were introduced 18 years before cars were invented.

The average pigeon in London has 1.6 feet.

The least common PIN number is 8068. Well it was until I told you.

Madonna was sacked from her job at Dunkin Doughnuts for squirting jam at customers. She always was a fun girl.

Clams can live for 400 years. Not on my beach  they don’t!


Mizzle– To run away.

Palaver–A fuss, bother.

Pallmall– An old game using a mallet to hit a  wooden ball through a metal hoop.

Panjandrum–A pompous official

Wonky– Shaky or unsteady.


Howk– Pull violently.

Breeks– trousers

Wisht– be quiet!

tatty– unkempt, untidy

Stot– bounce


POEM attached                               .A place in the heart







Another week has gone. We have just over two weeks left for our self isolation in the UK. It looks as if things will be eased off then probably slowly at first. We are expecting some of the schools going back in May, shops and some factories will open.I saw a Oxford professor on the TV tentatively forecasting we may have a vaccine available in Sept/Oct. Ready for millions of the population with some priorities at first. Hopeful news soon.

Deaths and infections are slowly coming down which is also good. Although deaths in care homes are also increasing.

Bear with me I won’t be much longer with the corona news. With out the inevitable inquests into how the government performed during this crisis the facts are likely to emerge that the provision of  safety equipment (SSE) for the NHS and latterly care homes has been far too slow. Also the testing has just this week been improved substantially, but again far too slowly. Finally it is likely that the number of deaths in the UK will be greater than any other country in Europe pro rata to population. I hope civil servants and scientists will not be made scrapecoats rather than the politicians who hopefully deserve a larger part of the culpability.

Sorry that was my rant over.

When I wrote my blog some 4 or 5 years ago it was based on my thoughts while walking my dog Bruce on the beach where I live in Whitley Bay , a seaside town in the North east of England. I have recently moved house which is now closer to the beach in Cullercoats. We live about 10 miles from Newcastle but the Northumberland coast has 60 miles of magnificent sandy beaches. We are the most northerly county in England and the least populated.. We have more castles than any other county and Northumbria was both a centre of Christianty and military might in the 9th century. The coast line was invaded by the Vikings but never occupied . They settled futher south in Yorkshire but were kept at bay by the fierce nature of the local inhabitants.Many battles were fought by the Scots and English in Northumberland which was why we have so many castles. In the southern border of the county is Hadrians wall which some 2000 years ago seperated the Romans from the Picts and the Scots. This area , mainly Newcastle was where the railways were first invented as was the first electric lights. In fact the oldest dedicated commuter railway line  in the world   between North Shields and Newcastle is only 2 miles from where I live. This area is a hugely  important area in history. I will bore you with other facts from the area in the future.


Aristotle thought small penises were better because semen got cold in large ones! I couldn’t possibly comment on that!

Ancient Greeks declared their love for a woman by throwing an apple at her.

In the Himalayas the smoke from burning millipedes is used to treat haemorrhoids!

It’s illegal in Saudi Arabia for men to work in lingerie stores!

In 2014 a pair of underpants donated by the Mayor of Brussels was stolen from the Brussels Underpant Museum. Interesting!

There are more plastic flamingoes in the USA than real flamingoes.


Shindy–A noisy disturbance, commotion.

Shufty– A peak or look.

Guffaw– Loud laughter.

Larrikin– A rough , disorderly person.

Larrup– To whip or flog.

Floozy– A disreputable or loose woman


Bleb– A spot or flaw.

Brekks– Trousers.

Howk– Pull violently

Whisht– To be quiet.

Tatty- Unkempt, untidy.

Thank you and good night My poem is attached       .Revelation 2nd draft






Hi All. i hope you are all happily isolating. together or seperately. We in the Uk are nearly completing our fifth week with at least another two weeks to go. But it is likely things will gradually ease off after that. It will be gradually’ Probably some schools will open with restrictions and industry will start coming back in some form. The last thing will be hospitality, pubs, restaurants, cafes and any events with any sort of crowds. The likely hood is we will not have some sort of normality until a vaccine is available in mass production. I and my partner may be isolated in some form because of our ages for the rest of the year. It is a frightening prospect.

Anyway deaths and infections here have started to decline but only slowly so far.Problems remain in the accessibility of SSE not only for the front-line health workers but care workers and those in  other  essential trades. Apparently items like gowns are being reused. Deaths due to the virus are only counted when someone dies in hospital apparently it doesn’t matter as much if you die in a care home. A total disgrace. France however counts all deaths caused by Covid 19.  Only one in ten deaths are people under 60 so it shows how it is older people  are worst affected. Also men are more likely  than women and even more at risk are Black, Asian and ethnic minorities.

Boris Johnson is back at work on Monday. He told us a month ago testing, testing, testing was the key to beat the virus. Well we managed 23,000 on Thursday when we are promised 100,000 in a weeks time. But the next promise is that 10 million key workers and there families will be tested soon. Registration commenced this morning for home testing at a rate of 18,000 kits per day this week. by mid morning the site was closed stating “Appications closed”.

Promises , promises.

We had 22 national test centres, hardley turned up, apparently they were in the wrong places! So who knows how many tests will be completed this week when boris sorts things out!

Over in the USA Trump has now had an idea that disinfectant and sunshine will sort thing out. Good luck to you Americans

In the meantime negotiations are going in Europe about Brexit. Does the man in the street really care now. Ideally surviving Corona virus will be the top priority!


Avocados are toxic to horses. And grapes are poisonous to dogs.

The labourers who built the Great Wall of China were fed on sauerkraut. I didn’t realise the Germans built it !

Do you know hamsters one eye at a time?

Astronaut John Young smuggled a corned beef sandwich into space. Was he worried there were no snack bars on the moon.

Research shows that for luxury brands, the ruder the sales staff the higher the sales.


Jiggle– Quicky, jerky movement.

Skedaddle– Run off fast.

Guff– Foolish talk, nonsense.

Vexed– Irate, angry,annoyed.

Shenanigans– Nonsense, trickery, mischief.

Shindig– Dance, party or social affair.


Hoy– To throw.

Nettie– Bathroom, toilet.

Skiffy– Point in the direction of.


Bagie — Turnip.

Bait– Snack, sandwich.

And so a poem, but next week I promise I,m i will only talk about coronavirus briefly. Honestly !!!!!!     THE RIVER








Well its another week. Easter has come and gone.And virtually every day is now the same.I leave the house once a day to walk my dog and thats it. Haven’t driven my car for nearly a month. My partners daughter delivers food for us once a week and we are stocked up for dog food and any medicines we need. Thats it . We are only in contact with each other. All other people have to be kept at a distance. We spend our time in our garden and when the weather is not so nice do work in the house. We still have lots of painting and decorating to do. We buy lots of items we need for the house and garden online and can obtain virtually all we need delivered to the door.

Coronavirus has become a nightmare. Certainly in the UK we appear to be almost at the peak for deaths and infections, but the government has stated the lock-down will continue for at least three weeks. The number of deaths in the UK are now higher  than any other European country. Italy and Spain have now seen deaths reduce. France is now including all deaths from the virus whereas the UK are only deaths in hospital. So our figures are even worse than stated!

The Care home sector has been largely ignored during this epidemic  but there are now large numbers of deaths whether by the virus or other causes. The government has looked to the NHS  to handle hospital admissions where care homes have been left to local authorities to handle. The fact is there has been a failure to look after the elderly generally, be it in Care homes or in their own homes. There has been a bias towards the young and an acceptance to a certain extent that old people will die anyway. Certainly the amount of SSE has been vastly underestimated in the local authorities.

It is too early for inquests but there is no doubt the government has been far too slow in preparing for the amounts of   SSE required. The lack of ventilators is absolutely disgraceful and they are still not not coming through. And the testing has not even reached 20,000 per day which was promised two to three weeks ago. Matt Hancock lies through his back teeth in every press conference he has presided on. He is still promising 100,000 tests by the end of April.Germany however Is still doing 5000,000 a week now. No wonder their deaths are relatively low. The medical experts say his promises are just fantasy. Matt Hancock claims promises as facts what he really means is wish lists. The government quite honestly is totally out of control and Boris Johnson is well out of it. Dominic Raab, seems to be acting leader at the moment. Which will have put Michael Gove’s nose totally out of joint (He thinks he is Boris’s deputy) And Alok Sharma and Priti Patel  are totally lightweights in front of the press. The only one who has impressed me is the Chancellor, Rishi Sunak who states facts as they are.

There will be a huge inquest after the event. The worrying thing is when the virus is subdued what happens next. We will be totally locked down for at least 3 weeks. Germany and Spain and some other European countries are trying start some industries already. If we do not get industry going and school opening with restrictions we could again be too slow. It is really worrying.

Trump is also likely to try to kick start industry in some of the US states

Enough of all that.


Chimpanzees can identify each other by looking at photographs of their bottoms

Lizards can’t breathe and walk at the same time. To be fair I struggle to walk and talk at the same time.

65% of Pakastani soldiers have dandruff.

Whoopi Goldsberg  used to be a bricklayer!

Jerry Springer was born in a London Underground station!


Hugger-mugger– secretive or covert

Humdrum–dull , monotonous, routine.

Jiggered–amazed, confounded.

Jim-jams– nervousfeeling, jitters.

Humdinger– Excellent in it’s kind or person.

Jiggery pokery– Trickery or deception


Gowk– Apple core

Fettle- Type of feeling.

Hinny-Affectional name for a man or woman


Gammy– injured.

Clarty–Ditty, muddy

Canny– kind.

Gawkin–looking at somebody with intensity.










Well all the news is about coronavirus. But has anyone bothered to think about other news. For example whats happening about the wars in Syria and Yemen. Are they now fighting the common enemy coronavirus? And the same applies to other wars throughout the world.  Whats happening about the poor refugees in Turkey and Greece. They are sitting targets for the infection.They can hardly self isolate. They have no sorts of protective equipment. The same applies to already poor people in the Third World. The likelihood is the Western World will recover fairly quickly to the epidemic but the rest of the world will take much more time to recover and a lot more deaths

In Europe now Italy and Spain seemed to have peaked as far as deaths are concerned . But it is believed the UK ,France and especially the US probably have another week before their peak. And China and North Korea are well over the worst. I know Trump doesn’t believe the figures China produced and is in conflict with the WHO but the Chinese did  seem to control the epidemic. pretty quickly. I don’t believe  the Chinese either but they can’t have distorted them too much. What worries me generally especially in the UK is that who collated the figures. We at home are told the numbers of deaths are those who have died in hospital but there is a dispute going on that figures of people who die in nursing or old peoples homes are not included. What figures do we believe? Also there 17,000 people who die in a normal year from “ordinary flu”. Are they included in the corona virus death figures? Nearly 10% of over 80 year old’s will die in a normal year. So it is very difficult to quantify the numbers of death.

The other thing that is a worry is the possibility of a long period of lock down.  There is likely to be more mental health problems, heart problems due to a lack of exercise and finally the impact of increased unemployment and reduced living standards.

These are the balances that need to be judged worthwhile for the future.

Finally it is an ongoing problem that the front line staff in the NHS are still being critical of lack of proper protective clothing. And also a lack of ventilators. We are being promised them “soon” but aren’t materialising . The Germany army has sent us 70 in the last day or so. But the biggest “promise” from Boris Johnson and other spokesmen is that we need testing, testing, testing. That was nearly 2 weeks ago. Two days ago we achieved 11,500. That fact is the Government is making idle promises still. we are reminded that Germany are testing 500,000 a day. are there death rate is much lower pro rata than us.

Now for some HUMOUR.

The world’s largest and complete Tyrannesaurus Rex skeleton is called Sue. That’s funny my ex-wife was called Sue!

Britain’s biggest pig is called Boris . He contains enough pork to make 6,000 sausages! (there is a certain resemblance)

According to the Mayan calendar the next time the world is “going to end” is the 3rd of may 7138. I’ve put it in my calendar.

There is a 12% possibility that a game of moopoly will go on indefinitely

Black holes are not black.

Human teeth evolved from fish scales.


Gardyloo—warning when chamber pot was thrown out of a window.

Brabble— To argue loudly about matters of no impotance.

Crapulous—The condition of feeling ill as a result of too much eating/drinking.

Fudgel— Act of pretending you are working when really doing nothing.

Groke— To stare intently at someone who is eating in the hope they will give you some. (I have a dog like that)

GEORDIE WORDS. Words from the North of England mainly Newcastle- upon- Tyne or Tyneside.

Gadgie or Gadje–Non-Roma person or fellow.

Conk– Break down sic conk out

Buck— To improve, get better as buck up.


Howfing— A mean or shabby person , looking like a beggar.


FINALLY A great big cheer for the Doctors and Nurses and other support workers this killer virus. Thank you