FURTHERMORE ITS FRIDAY

A caravan salesman from Bridlington Yorksire , who is an amateur poker player entered a tournament in Las Vegas and finished fourth winning $2million dollars. He normally just played for fun but beat experienced professionals. He was either very lucky or the top players arent as good as they think they!

There has been huge queues at European airports this week as security has been tightened. Passports are being checked much more thoroughly. I know iot is just into the school holidays here but some people have even missed connections checks have taken so long. My worry is that this will become the norm when we finally leave the EU!

British Gas is increasing electricity bills by 12.5% next month as wholesale prices are actually falling. Concidering wages are only increasing by 2% this is going to cause hardship next winter. Before the general election Theresa May promised to cap energy bills. So that was another false promise!

The North east of England has always been a forgotten region in England until we joined the EU. European businesses contribute £9 billion to the regions economy  every year. So when we leave we will hugely lose out. As Labour governments in the past have taken the regions political support for granted and the Tories have ignored us as we have never given them any support we will be left in limbo yet again.. Oh and by the way a lot of the region voted to come out of Europe. When the largest employer is Nissan it didnt make sense! I feel the future is bleak for this region.

Humour. Fighter pilots in stressful conditions release such large amounts of hormones that they may ejaculate.

When Danes pose for photographs they say”orange”, the Chiese say “aubergine2 and the Germans say “ant shit”

Bananas are considered unlucky on fishing boats.

in 2009 a search of Loch Ness for the Loch Ness monster located 100,000 golf balls. I didnt know the monster played golf!

I dnt think i have mentioned in the past Im a member of an organization called U3A, or the University of the third age. It is not related to to a specific but to a period in one’s life, after the second age of full time employment and financial responsibilities. It is a registered charity but it is set up for educational purposes rather social activities. I the uk it is growing rapidly and now has over a thousand branches with more than 390,000 members. I am vice chairman of the Whitley Bay branch. We have over 300 members and have various groups such as:- Archaeology, Art Appreciation, Walking, local History, Play reading, Natural World, Psychology, Creative Writing, a Theatre Group and Jazz Appreciation and others. We normally meet once a month in the groups. Whilst most people are retired we are all still keen to learn and what we lack in skills we tend to make up for in enthusiasm. So no matter how old you are there are still opportunities to learn new things.

Poem attached       NEVER SAY NEVER

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FAMILIARLY FRIDAY.

Since I retired , now 6 years ago, I have done quite a lot of travelling. I love going to new destinations rather than going to the same place again. I found in the past if you visit once a second visit is just not as exciting. I will immediately contradict myself because I have just spent a week in London doing all the touristy things. However I hadn’t done a similar visit for something like 40 years so Im going to excuse myself. I like cities with history in particular and have never been one to lie on beaches. When my children were young however I did do that sort of holiday but then it was a case of if the children were happy I was happy. The only trouble about visitng historical cities is that they are invariably full of other tourists. I hate being considered a tourist and try to not only do the normal sites but also the more obscure less visited places. I try to look at my map in the hotel before I go out but then I will walk without a map and it is amazing the things you accidentally come upon. I also try to meet locals and eat and drink where they do. I always do some research and ask questions to find out first hand what the local people think about their city and country. It is interesting to note most ordinary people feel the same way about their leaders and governments. I feel the leaders dont understand the thoughts of the ordiary citizen in most of the places I have visited. This is probably because full time politicians, bankers, academics, business leaders have never experienced how the ordinary working man lives.  My latest trip to Scandavia showed me the same. As I said last week I was in a varied group from the USA, Australia, New Zealand, Malaysia, India and different parts of the UK. We all got on very well and our opinons of world affairs was hugely similar.

HUMOUR  385 million years ago , fish did have fingers!

Apples, strawberries, plums and almonds are all types of rose!

4 million years ago , rats in South America were the size of hippos. Bearing in mind that scientists claim we are never more than 6ft away from a rat it would have been pretty to have been around then!

The richest man in the world is Bill Gates of Microsoft. He is worth £69 billion but has given half of it away so he is down to his last £34.5 billion. This week Jeff Bezos of Amazon overtook him as the richest man but then dropped back again because his company shares fell. He has given a mere £78 million away. These figures are obscene.

Also the wife of John Terry, the ex England and Chelsea footballer lost £219k in jewelry and £126k in handbags including one worth £42k in a robbery. Is this not also obscene.

Im a Type 2 diabetic so I was pleased to read this week that drinking wine , red in particular cuts the danger of diabetes. Gin and vodka which I dont drink double the risk.

As those of you who have read my blog before will know that “Beach Thoughts : An old dog and his bloke” come from me walking my labrador Bruce on the beach everyday. Attached is a photo of said dog. Also attached is what I hope you think is a humorous poem      TEDDIES ARE FOREVER

 

FAMOUSLY FRIDAY

I,ve been away for three weeks and I hope you feel you’ve missed me. I suspect not! Well I’ve been away on holiday and i wiil come to that later.

It’s been a very stange year for me so far. I went to Vietnam in January and came back with food poisoning and a severe chest infection. I dont blame Vietnam for the food poisoning, just bad luck. Vietnam was stunningly beautiful with great food but what struck me most was how the Vietnamese dont appear to be bitter the way the rest of the world has treated them. They were invaded  several times over the last 150 years and have suffered appalling at the hands of these often cruel ntions. Yet they dont look back and are just getting on with their lives as best they can. They are an example to the world.

I recovered from the food poisoning within a few weeks but my chest infection lingered on for some time. I received one lot of antibiotics which helped marginally then another lot in April which again did not cure the problem. Then I finally had steroids which seemed to have done the trick. But after having an xray and a scan I,m awaiting results to see if  to find out if something lasting has occurred. Because I now feel really well and got through two quite energetic holidays Im not worried. But what will be will be anyway! But yesterday was not a particlarly good day as it was 18 years to the day that I lost my son who was only 18 in an accident. Anyone who has lost a child will understand the guilt and the lasting effect it has on the rest of your life. The hurt reduces over the passage of time but it never actually goes away. But life goes on because it has to . There is no choice.

And so to my holiday. Firstly a week in London doing all the touristy things. Some I did almost 50 years ago and others I have never done at all. A bit ironic really as I have visited a lot of major cities and seen their sights. So in London I climbed to the very top of St. Paul’s Cathedral (all 526 steps), Westminister Abbey, The Houses of Parliament, The Tate Modern, The National, The National Portrait (all Art Galleries) and several museums. Plus other visits too. And then I did a tour of Scandanavia, Norway, Denmark and Sweden. I visited Copenhagen, Odense and Fredrikshavn in Denmark, Then ferry to , Gothenburg, And on to Oslo,, Bergen, Telemark and Lillehammer in Norway and Karlstadt and finally Stockholm. It was a stunning trip and my favourite bits were Bergen and Stockholm cities and the stunning beauty of Norway.

But and this is the thing I really got out of it was the people on the tour. They were from all over the world. New Zealand, Australia, Malaysia, USA , India and the UK. They were all walks of life but we all got on. Oh, and the tour guide was Rumanian and the driver was from Lithuania. We all agreed that the biggest problem worldwide is our political and regious leaders. The ordinary people tend to want peace and freedom but it is the leaders, often for their own ends that cause the unnecessary problems supposedly on our behalfs!

Humour Rats can feel regret and Goats cant cry. Also if you tickle a rat every day it’ll start laughing as soon as it sees you.

For some reason hurricanes with female names are deadlier than those with male names.

J R R Tolkein was rejected for a Nobel prize in Literature on the grounds of “poor story telling.”

Finally the only politics you will get from me on my return is that Trump doesnt seem to have achieved anything worthwile yet (what a surprise) and Theresa May is as much use as a chocolate firegrate waiting for the fire to be lit.

Poem attached  EVIL INTENT

FONDANTLY FRIDAY

The UK is now vying for “Worst leader in the Western world” I thought the Trump was bad but he has now got a female challenger, The May (or May not). BOth are extremely arrogant , blame anybody who doesn’t agree with them and come across as diffident, awkward insincere people. They are both unable to communicate with ordinary people.Trump still has a lot of power but Theresa May has virtually none left. Time after time she has made mistakes and says she has learnt from . It is obvious she hasn’t. she now has little or no negotiating power in Europe as they nknow she is a lame duck.

Of her fellow Government “friends” she now has the following contenders for her job. “Spread sheet” Phillip Hammond the Comedic Chancellor of Chequer she was going to sack when she got her 100 seat majority( whose job was going to Amanda Rudd.) Amanda Rudd who is lining up a so called dream ticket  with the self styled most intelligent mouse-man in the government (or is it the world) Michael Gove. More like a nightmare ticket!!!!. The colourless David Davis, our Brexit minister who couldn’t negotiate his way out of a paper bag is another potential leader as is our favourite clown, Boris Johnson Who who adopted the”Theresa May tactic” of sitting on the fence. What choices! Probably the best way of selecting the new leader who be to put all the names in a hat!

Madonna now 58, has a new toy-boy , Aloubar Soumaho, a model. He is in his 20’s I think. Any younger and they will be boys. Wonder what her daughter Loudres, now 20 thinks. I suppose Madonna uses them for sex and they get to be a bit famous for a while. sad really.

Apparently its been the hottest for 40 years in England this week. In England they mean London or the Southern counties , the rest of the country doesnt really count but we sometimes get weather too.

Apparently Amazon now lets you try on a dress before you buy. That’s what I’ve been waiting to hear for ages!!!!!!!!!

Some Barclays bankers are being investigated over breaking financial rules during the banking crisis . It only 10 years ago now.

HUMOUR—- The average London pigeon has 1.6 feet.

90% of the world lives in the Northern hemisphere. Probably because it’s 1.5degrees C warmer thgan the Southern hemisphere.

Scatomancy is telling the future by looking at turds. I might be good at that as I’m picking up dog turds all day!

INTERESTING OLD WORDS—— Poppycock meaning nonsense

Cahoots meaning partnership or in league in something suspicious.

Collywobbles meaning pain in the stomachor extreme nerves or apprehension.

A £900 million contract has been given to the  Derby factory of Bombardier to build 750 railway carriages for British rail. The last contract for over a £1million went to to a German company , Siemens. The only catch , Bombardier are a Canadian company.

53% of British sheds have wi-fi. The shed is a a very British thing and I believe any person who retires and has a garden should be given a shed when they retire! A man needs somewhere to hide away from the house when he gets older!

Poem attached                                          I’M BEGINNING TO THINK IT’S ME

 

 

 

FLUKILY FRIDAY

Firstly the absolutely sensational news that broccoli has been voted the most popular vegetable in Btitain. That does surprise me. Although I have heard that parents have sold it to their small children as miniture trees making it somehow more attractive. I remember my son didnt like brussel sprouts but did like cabbage so I told him brussel sprouts were only miniture cabbages which did the trick.

Second in the poll was sweetcorn and third tomato. Cacrrot was only fifth most popular and cauliflower down at eighth. Surprising results I thought.

That leads me onto the fact that 80% of British people dont eat the recommended 5 veg a day. Only 18% do. Im a type 2 diabetic and I must eat at least a dozen fruit and veg a day. No wonder obesity is getting all the time in this country.

And now a gripe , Thames Water is a company owned by an Australiancompany, a Kuwati co., Abu Dhabi, Canadian and Chinese company. So it must be a worthwhile investment borne out by paying out dividends of £100million pounds this year. Apparently it hasnt paid any tax since 2006 although it has been fined £29m for leaking pipes. So it profitable , why is iot not British owned ofr even in the public sector. How can foreign companies control our water supplies for the capital city?

Now it is time to mention our latest disaster, the third in a short time for London. The reason it burnt so quickly , spread so quickly needs to be found out as quickly as possible. there are 4000 similar multi stories in this country . How are the tenants going to feel knowing they could also be living in a death trap. Something has gone wrong, the people responsible need to be brought to justice whatever level they are at . In the meantime the poor people who died, who were trapped and missing and all the friends and relatives involved deserve enormous sympathy. The ordinary people who have contibuted clothes, food , all sorts of things and the police and firemen were magnificent. Politicians and civil servants have yet to do so. This should never have happened in the 5th richest country in the world! The victims need and deserve answer.

I cant remember if I have told you that I live in one of the most beautiful counties in England, Northumberland. It is the most Northerly English county and borders Scotland. It is the least populated and and has a magnificent coastline of beaches. They are not for lying on , they are for bracing walks and dogwalking. They are cold even in summer. We have the highest number of ancient castles , ruined and some still in use. On the border with Scotland is the Cheviot Hills, a wild and desolate range of hills. In the South is the river Tyne and the mainly unspoiled Hadrians Wall built by the Romans nearly 2000 years ago. The hinterland of Nothumberland is mainly moors but contains the largest man made lake in Europe, Keilder water. In that area , one of the darkest places in Europe is Keider Observatory. We are a sanctuary for the red squirrel, one of the last in England. And the jewel in the crown is the city of Newcastle-upon- Tyne. A city of beautiful architecture, the regional home of art, music and culture, restaurants supplyng food from all over the world. A popular University city with a vibrant nightlife.

Poem attached.                             TRY AGAIN

 

FRAGMENTATION FRIDAY

Ok the election is over but it was so close we are likely to have another soon! I was up until 3 o’clock this morning and I’m shattered.

I will things up quickly, losers were Theresa May , found guilty of sheer arrogance. Thought because labour were nearly 20% behind in the polls she would win by a land slide. Wrong! UKIP voters did not all vote Tory this time , half voted Labour.  The people did not believe she was either strong and stable. She was the opposite and if she had any courage whatsoever she would think of the country rather than herself and resign. Guily as charged!

Nicola  Sturgeon, leader of SNP believes that losing a third of her seats is still actually a victory! Another referendum is now dead in the water.  She is also guilty of arrogance along with Alex Salmond and Angus Robertson, ex SNP MP’s!

Paul Nuttall. UKIP leader has already resigned, guilty of having little or no ability.

Successes,  Jeremy Corbyn , who nobody gave a prayer (including me) ran a brilliant campaign and invigorated young people to vote.

Ruth Davison, Scottish Tory leader who also ran an excellent campaign and saved the Tories from a worse result.

Tim Fallon, Lib-Dem leader who ran a terrible campaign, guilty of being extremely lucky and increasing their number of seats.

For those who actually read my blog my forecasts last week were pretty close to what happened. Apart from Theresa May resigning which wont be long coming.

So election over , for now, the television might actually have proper programmes again.

English Heritage want people to vote on the best inventions of all time. Candidates are, Teabags, The wheel, The fridge, sewers, The plough, Penicillin, The internet, Armour, light bulbs and the clock. Personally I’m torn betwween tea bags and the wheel!

THe top uni’s in the world are now all American, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Stanford, Harvard and the California Institute of Technology. Then Engish Uni’s ,Cambridge, Oxford and University college and Imperial college both London.

HUMOUR More than 80,000 bartenders in the USA have university degrees.

a survey in 1943 found that the top tip for a successful marriage was actually “liking” your partner.

Winston Churchill was a druid and Jimi Hendrix was a paratrooper.

Madonnawas sacked from dunkin donuts for squirting customers with jam.

Apparently Donald Trump doesn’t tell lies. Well thats the first one!

George Clooney and his wife named their new-born twins Ella and Alexander. For once celebrities have given their kids proper names. Very sensible!

A  pensioner in England stopped people from speeding in her village by aiming a hair dryer at their car. They slowed down immediately as they thought it was a speeding device.

Diane Abbott, the Labour shadow home secretary stepped down with three days to go in the elction campaign. Apparently she was ill. Is that another word for incompetent?

Last week there was the first shark attack in British waters by a 3ft smooth hound shark. It attacked a surfer and he hurt his hand by punching it. His wife didnt believe him and thought he was just making an excuse for being late.

Poem Attached         THE TARN

 

 

ITS NOTHING LIKE A FRIDAY

Well its nothing like a Friday cos its a Monday. An extremely wet one at that. Ive been off the air because Ive changed my broadband company which proved to be a lot more difficult than I anticipated. Communication companies (telecons, internet, broadbank etc) appear to be the worst at communicating when by their very nature they should be the best!. Anyway I’m back eventually.

Since I was last here there have been two more terrorist attacks, in Manchester and London. Are terrorists really as stupid as they seem to be. No matter what horrendous crimes the perpetrators commit the British will not give in to violence. Manchester was particularly bad as they had targetted a young audience out to enjoy themselves at a pop concert. How they believe they are doing it for Islam beats me. Did they really think  the indiscriminate killing of children and innocent people out to enjoy themselves. How do they know they are not killing Moslems anyway. In the latest London attack did they ask people what religion they were before they stabbed them. How did they know  Moslems weren’t uin the audience in Manchester. The only good thing is that they all the terrorists are dead. Are their families proud of them or are they they not bothered what the think. I believe that 99% of the Moslems in the Uk are peaceable  but those 99% must do more to try to stop these incidents happening. Two things the British mustn’t do is overreacr and have a Moslem backlash and secondly arm all our police force.

A Cambridge professor is claiming Jilly Cooper is as good a writer as Charles Dickens and that she is todays Jane Austen.  What a joke!

Babies born today are likely to live to 104. What sort of changes are they going to see in their lifetimes I wonder.

I hate to see people who are really good at what they do carry on regardless. Tiger Woods is an example. Once the best golfer in the world now in the news last week for being found  asleep in his car at three in the morning  with the engine running, in the middle of a highway. No alcohol in his blood but a cocktail of prescription drugs.  He needs to retire and disappear from the public eye. The same applies to Arsene Wenger the Arsenal manager. He has done a fantastic job over the last 20 years and has nothing to prove. But he wants to go on for another 2 years when his day is clearly done.

In another field where talented people go on too long is music and I do a bit about that next week.

HUMOUR 5% of cats are allegic to humans!

In 1849 the Viceroy of Egypt gave London Zoo a hippo in exchange for a greyhound. Wonder if the hippo won many races?

Vikings who died in bed rather than in battle went to a special afterlife where it was always foggy.

And so we will have our general election next week . The gap between Tories and Labour is quite close. It is likely now to be a lot closer than anyone forecast. Theresa May is quite cacable of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. She has run a campaign on her strong and stable leadership and the only other Tory politician used in the campaogn was her home secretary, Amanda Rudd. She thought the rest were so useless they were kept in a cupboard out of sight. Jeremy Corbyn came across much better than anyone anticipated, but again is backed up by 2nd raters, John McDonnell, shadow chancellor, Emily Thornberry, shadow foreign secretary, and the biggest joke of the whole campaign, Diane abbott, who is just a shadow!!!.

The rest, Lib-dem leader, Tim Farron, has been hopeless, Ukip just an irrelavance and the rest just made up the numbers.  The Scottish Labour party (SNP to you and me), Nicola Sturgeon is starting to tread water while the one who has probably impreesed the most is Ruth Davison, leader of the Scottish Tories.

And the result, the Tories by a short head , Labour and rest just behind meaning the Tories will have a smaller majority and Theresa May will be forced to resign. The new leader will be decided by putting names in a hat. And Brexit, negotiations willl go on and on until we all lose interest. All I can say is “Rule Britannia”

Poem attached, pretty rubbish I’m afraid                 GONE FISHING

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FINDING OUT ITS FRIDAY

I cant believe its a week since my last epistle. I know ive said it before but Im going to say it again . Time seems to go quicker the older you get.

This week the election promises have all been announced. Promises are the wrong word really , suggestions of things we might do if we can get away with it is probably better wordology. But I will return to politics later.

Tesco, our largest supermarket chain this week announced thay are using a model from Merseyside as the face of their new F and F clothing line. Face but not her voice. She has been given a more “suitable”  English accent for England and Scotland and an Irish accent for Ireland. Typical slight for the North!. Im surprised Ant and Dec havent been given sub titles for their show!

I dont usual watch the Eurovision Song Contest but I did this year. Bit I didnt realise Australia was now in Europe! The Uk had their best year for ages and we finished 15th. But the song that won was from Portugal and was sung by a young boy Salvador Sobrai. It was written by his sister. It was a melancholy ballad which he performed  simply by standing on a platform. The rest had orchestras and backing dancers and singers and fantastic special effects in the background. As he said later was it not just about the song.

I though it was totally refreshing.

The weather this week has been a bit of everything but I was reminded how bad it can be on Monday when it was torrential rain. The beach was pretty deserted but one of the professional dog walkers was out and I said to him ” a day like today just reminds us of what it can be like in the middle of winter”. We have had weeks of good beach walking weather recently.

That leads me nicely onto interesting words we dont seem to use anymore.

Trudge-To walk wearily or laboriously. Which was exactly what I did that day in the rain on the beach.

Bedraggled-Wet, limp and dishevelled. Which is the way I was after my walk.

Swill-To flood with water to wash something. It has got other meaning but is rarely used in this context anymore.

Humour- On 28th june 2009 stephen Hawking hosted a party for time travellers from the future. Nobody turned up. Quite a surprise!

Each person in a swimming pool leaves behind between 8 and 20 teaspoonfuls of urine. I’ll try to be more careful in future!

Before he became a spy, then a best selling author John le Carre washed elephants for the Swiss National Circus.

Now the Labour Party has some good policicies but how they are going to pay for them beats me. They want to take back into public ownership, The railways, water, energy companies and Royal mail. And do away with student loans.

The Lib-Dems have some decent policies but wont get into or hold the balance of power so what they say is irrelevant.

Green Party— Ditto.

UKIP—Defunct .

So we are left with conservatives and labour. The Conservatives have stolen Ukip votes by saying they are going to get immigration to the 10’s of thousands. This figure is a joke. Theresa May knows it is, she was responsible for 7 years before she became PM and cooldnt get it down to anywhere near 200,000. Non European was nearly 200,000 last year. Why hasnt that been reduced. The truth is we near foreign workers . Her policy is purely to see off UKIP. Theresa believes she is now the Conserative party and has made the election a presdentil style one. Her against Jerymy Corbyn to negotiate Brexit. All the other issues are irrelevant. She is re-enacting Margaret Thatcher against Michael Foot. She hasnt got the intelligence of Thatcher but is capable of inflicting just as much damage on the country.

She will probably win easily but Im afraid I’d rather vote for Jeremy Corbyn who has at least principles against someone who is totally devoid of them. All she is , is an opportunist.

As a matter of interest finally neither leader is prepared to meet voters who are against them All their meeting are being staged to present to their own supporters. Hypocrisy!!!!!

This week for a change I have attached a short story.                     AN ODE TO OLDNESS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FEATURING FIDAY

I have always loved words. Written , spoken whatever medium they are delivered in. I went to my local library when I was 7 and remember my first book, not the title but know it was about a parrot. I read it that night and was hooked! I later read most of the classics interspersed with boys books and of course comics of all kinds. I love the way words are used, the order they come in to make a sentence. It is like a jigsaw the correct words have to be chosen to fit in and complete a picture. Whether it a newspaper article, a magazine article, a book , poetry, someone giving a lecture there is a right word that needs to be used. It has to be sought out, considered and chosen to collaborate with others to get the message across. Good writing takes time but it is worth it. I know it is old fashioned but I do feel spelling is important. There is very little excuse for getting it wrong as a dictionary should be at hand for any writer who cares about their work. Also virtually everybody  has a spell check readily available.

Ok that is the written word. I started off with the intention of being an accountant. I also love numbers,( useful for an accountant) but sitting at a desk all day with little communication with others was boring. Now I managed several years but then drifted somehow into sales. In my early days a company car and a expenses account were very attractive and I found I was naturally suited to it. My type of selling to larger companies demanded a constant contact with the same people. So I quickly found that bullshit doesnt work. Telling the truth, being honest and reliable did. The careful use of words in negotiations was just so important. Again chosing the right word mattered.

Youre probably a bit bored by this now so Im going to stop but it is something I intend to revisit in future blogs.

Leading on from that I have three words which have gone out of fashion but I still like:-

jeepers-An exclamation of surprise

guff- foolish talk, nonsense

vexed-irritated or annoyed.

HUMOUR-The record number of live goldfishswallowed at a single sitting is 210.

“At sparrows fart” is slang for very early in the morning!

385 million years ago fish actually had fingers!

In 1971 100 copies of the Bible were taken to the moon. Did they expect to leave them in hotel rooms I wonder.

A footballer in the Chinese league now earns £798k a week. I’m a football fan and I’ve never heard of him. He is Argentinian and his name is Ezequie Lavezzi. The next to are former players in the English Premier, Carlos Tevez, Argentinian £634k a week and Drogba who is an Ivorian earning £507k a week. The money they earn is incredible.

Oh, and Mario Balotelli receives a bonus of 1 million Euros if he is sent off less than 3 timees in a season.

POETRY attached                             WHO IS TO BE THE JUDGE

 

 

FRIGHTENLY FRIDAY

Have a read about a pill this week that gets you fit without leaving your chair.. What I think they mean is that it keeps your weight down without any exercise but I,m sure it does not make you FIT. Apparently this drug actually burns fat. I hardly think you can run a marathon without training whether you take this drug or not!

In this country we pay a lot for our 4G mobile phone service. Average availability is 65% which puts us behind Peru, Estonia, Latvia and India.  How we cant do better  in a small country like this baffles me.

This year British parents will fund 26% of the purchase of homes, bought  for their children, to the tune of £6.5 up from £5 billion last year. A sympton of our broken housing market!

The song “Careless Whisper” by George Michael has just been voted the most popular song ever knocking John Lennon’s “Imagine” off the top spot. Both fantastic songs.

Adele now has four of the top 10. Incidently Adele made £40 million last year making her worth £125Million. Not bad at 28 but she really is a brilliant performer.

So Cheryl Tweedy, formerly of “Girls Aloud”  and Liam Payne of “One Direction” have decided to call their new baby “Bear” Thats fine for a baby but when they go to school or become an adult are they going to be happy. I doubt it somehow.  Bear Payne, a name fraught with danger in the future.

HUMOUR  The largest lizard in Australia can run as fast as Usain Bolt. I hope it;s not poisonous!

The world’s largest and most complete Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton is called Sue. That’s funny , so was my ex-wife. need I say more.

The expression “you have a turd in your teeth ” was a common insult in 17th century England.

At the 1928 Olmpics oarsman Henry Pearce stopped to let a family of ducks cross his lane and still went on to win the gold medal. Can you see them doing that now?

I love words especially words that sound unusual so I’m going to try to come up with 3 every week. Words this week are:-

bamboozle-meaning to confuse or puzzle.

kibosh-To put an end to.

shenanigans-nonsense, mischief or trickery.

Finally and I deliberately left it to last is the election campaign in the uk.

Our present Prime MInister is running an interesting campaign which appears to be that she will be the least worst between her and Jeremy Corbyn. I suppose it’s a bit like in the US except the worst there seems to have got in. Although he has done very liittle in his first 100 days.  Policies in our election seem to gone out of the window, all the tactics are is that you call the other leader.

Its Friday pm here and we had an election yesterday. It seems that the UKIP party has been totally radicated, which is excellent news. The Labour Party has done badly which is totally unsurprising under a leader who is determined to lead his party into the wilderness. The Conservatives have done well in Scotland against the old Labour Party (now called the SNP) In fact the Conservatives have done well generally. So It looks as if we are to have 5 years of the “The Grey Woman” who will be now telling us how well she has negotited a Brexit deal. Whether she has or not!

And what about the Lib-Dems. Well what about them, indeed!

POem attached           .PAST PRESENT FUTURE