FORTUNATELY ITS FRIDAY

I was in London last week and stayed in a small apartment in Hammersmith. I have done most of the main attractions but visited some of the smaller ones this time. William Hogarth’s house and grave in Chiswick and Chiswick House nearby. Hampstead Heath and Highgate Cemetery , Sir John Soanes museum together with the Shard and old favourite the Victoria and Albert museum.

Now in Highgate cemetery Karl Marx is buried. A tabloid newspaper attributes 10’s of millions of death down to his philosophies of Communism. He proposed “Workers of the World Unite” But by definition what is a worker?  Is it not anyone who works? He wanted workers to control the economy but someone has to take the lead. Pure Cmmunism is impossible, everyone cannot be equal, it is a contradiction of terms. What is unfair is that the richer are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer And, the gap is growing. Karl Marx is blamed for millions of deaths but the other side of the coin  is that Fascism is just as bad. It is also an ideology that has killed millions. Then throw in religion and power hungry politicians and rulers and you have the reason for virtually all the known unnatural deaths. Yes it’s a cruel world

 

The National Trust  had a salute to suffragettes last week , a tea towel. Hardly appropriate somehow!

It is the Eurovision Song Contest. Now you might think this about music. Well it is in a way. Somehow it includes Australia, Israel and Turkey who are not in Europe. But it is all about politics, nobody likes the UK or Germany so dont vote for us. And other countries like Cyprus always give Greece high marks.. It is on TV  tomorrow night!

Two things amused me this week, the price of vanilla is now higher than silver. Madagascar produces 80% of the world crops and they have had several bad harvests due to drought and disease.

And secondly it is apparently quicker to have cocaine delivered to your home than a pizza. Some survey claims this is the case.

HUMOUR King Francis 1 of France hung the “Mona Lisa” in his bathroom. Did he not know it was valuable!

Two teaspoons of Botox are enough to kill the whole of the UK.

A popular way to cure impotence in the 14th century was to wear  your trousers on your head for 24 hours.

My poor Labrador, Bruce has had an operation to repair the ligaments in his knee this weak. I have to try to keep him from moving around too much. He is also supposed to wear a buster collar over his head at all times. How you are supposed to keep a boisterous dog quiet for at least three weeks beats me!

OLD FASHIONED WORDS-

FAFF-To dither, or be flustered (normally with about)

PERNICKERTY-To be be fussy or precise.

RUCTIONS- noisy, confusion or uproar.

SNAGGLETOOTH- A tooth that sticks out from the rest.

Poem attached                                        JUST A BOY AND A GIRL

FABULOUS FRIDAY

For about the first time this year I can say it is a beautiful sunny day! It really is but I have got wet twice today out walking the dog. Just sudden heavy showers but at least it is now warm enough that you dry quickly. But like a true Brit we always complain about our weather and we have had a period of lack of any heavy rain so the fields are showing cracks and the gardens need watering! It has been a difficult week, I lost all my keys and searched high and low in my house without success ( I did find a lot of things I’d mislayed however) So I got a new set cut from my daughters set and within 2 hrs someone had found my original set somewhere down my street. Then I scraped the car to avoid a bus and finally my dog hurt another dog on the beach and I have vets bills to pay. My dog is not aggressive, he just tried to mount this other dog. And because the other dog was old(13) and a lot smaller Bruce hurt him. Bruce has been castrated but it doesnt stop them trying to mount other dogs.Also other dogs try to mount him all the time. It just one of those things on the beach.

People in this country know most of the press is right-wing so it does not come as a surprise that the Daily Mail (which is ulra right-wing) is complaining about the appointment of the new ITV is a woman, is left-wing, has no experience of journalism is an economics graduate from UCL, did a business degree in America, oh and by the way is Jewish and attractive. She sounds perfect to me!

So Muirfield golf course in Edinburgh will not host the golf Open championship any more. They didn’t get the required majority to allow women to join the club so are off the list. Have these guys not got wives I wonder what they think of their husbands views. Pathetic men!

Humour -Every leech has 18 testicles and two ovaries- a load of balls in my opinion!

Fruit flies take their time over difficult decisions, they would make good politicians then

The Dutch Crown jewels are made of fake pearls, fish scales and coloured foil. I wonder if ours have been checked recently?

St. George is the patron saint of England, leprosy and syphilis. EH?

Stella McCartney, daughter of Paul the Beatle is a fashion designer. Her clothes are very expensive. I certainly dont consider myself an expert on fashion but anyone sgree that her clothes are actually hideous. They do nothing for the wearer!

Ukraine won the Eurovision song contest with a happy little ditty about Stalin deporting Crimean Tartars in World War ll (They were later slaughtered) Runners up were Australia(how did they get in?) and Russia. Uk were third last 24th out of 26. It not because we produce worse songs than everybody else because most are bad anyway it is because not many countries actually like the British.

Sorry a little bit of politics, MP’s expenses went up 40% in 5 years. Why would anyone be surprised everyone knows they are a set of greedy bastards!!!!!

Apparently this country will be a nation of driverless cars in 4 years. Good job I’ve got a bus pass (it doesnt include buses does it?)

This week for a change it is some flash fiction. Hope you like it.PUNISHMENT TO FIT THE CRIME

 

 

 

 

 

FABULOUS FRIDAY

At last! Today is the 5th of June and it is the warmest day of the year so far. Frightening really when the longest day is in 2 weeks time. Forecast is good and hopefully this is the start of good spell of summer weather. Fingers crossed.

The UK and USA call themselves democracies. But so does Russia and China. Daily we criticise many countries for their stance on civil rights. But we trade with them because we need their products and services. We know the Arab countries, Russia and China and many African countries imprison people without trial and no doubt torture them too. But so do we!!!!! Shaker Aamer is a 38 year old British citizen who has been detained at Guantanamo Bay for 13 years without trial. He also claims he has been tortured by the US with MI5 in attendance. I don’t know if he has been tortured or he is guilty of any crime but why has he not been charged? If he was found guilty he should be in prison, if he is innocent he should be released. We in the West pretend we are whiter than white We aren’t!

It was the Eurovision Song Contest a fortnight ago. Most of the songs are rubbish but the voting at the end of it is really interesting. Sweden won this year with about 350 points. We got 5 and Germany got less than us. The reason is nobody in Europe likes the UK or Germany. The voting is virtually the same every year and shows which European countries like each other. It is a lesson in the politics of Europe and has nothing to do with music. And incidentally this year Australia were in it . EH!!!!!

So British MP’s are likely to vote themselves a 10% increase. One MP, a Tory is justifying this by saying if they are not paid enough they will just claim higher expenses. In a time of pay restraints and benefit cuts how can they award themselves such an increase.

This by the way is a expense system that has risen substantial since they were caught cheating claiming anything they felt like. When I worked we claimed expenses but HAD to submit a receipt to justify the claim. MP’s in the old system only needed to obtain a receipt when the expense was over £250. No wonder they all milked the system! What a set of greedy individuals they are.

Did you know Vikings who died in bed rather than in battle went to a special afterlife where it was always foggy.

The IKEA store on Calle Me Falta un Torlillo (I’ve Got a Screw Loose Street) in Valladolid, Spain, is hard to find because people keep stealing the street signs.

Cremation causes silicone breast implants to explode. Very embarrassing.

Finally a lesbian couple have complained to a school that they were banned from a “bring your dad to class day” Ok but could they both not have gone to the ” bring your mum to class day” instead. Thats that sorted then.

Poem attached. Hope you like SEASCAPISM