FEATURING FRIDAY

Its been a strange week but at least the weather has improved and its warmer. Was just thinking when I was walking on the beach this week how we take our dogs for granted. I have have met more people through having my Bruce than i would have otherwise. He is a labrador and he cannot pass any other dog or person I meet. People with dogs actually speak to each other. Not so much in the winter when we just just say hullo and move on it is so cold but in the summer you tend to linger and speak at length. the conversation virtually always starts with the weather. We Brits are obsessed by weather. So your dog almost introduces you to other people. Also because my dog is so inquisitive I got to know most of the people who live near me. Labradors have such a friendly nature they are difficult to dislike. All the local kids know him by name but they don’t know mine. I’m only his dogwalker. I nearly said master but in his case that wouldn’t really be true. He mostly does as I ask him but in his own time. It is difficult to know who actually is in charge. But he is as faithful as the day as long and as long as he is walked a lot (in my case 2 and a 1/2 hrs a day, is fed and gets plenty of sleep he is happy. Oh sorry I throw the ball on the beach for him for at least an hour and he will chase and drop it at my feet. Labradors do not chase animals like rabbits or birds, they are not killers they will retrieve dead animals but not kill them. They are just gentle dogs. the only troble is if a burglar broke carrying food a labrador would help him carry the “swag bag”

Humour  Whoopi Goldberg used to be a bricklayer.

Jerry Springer was born in Highgate Tube station in london.

65% of Pakistani soldiers have dandruff. Do they not know about “Head and Shoulders”

Louis X and Charles VIII of France both died as a result of playing tennis. Eh

Congrats Hillary. All you need to do now is slay the Trump beast.

British Navy destroyers costing £1 billion don’t work if the sea is too hot. Thats ok . we’ll just have to have battles in colder climes.

So Demi Moore has grey hair. It doesn’t make her any less attractive.

Nick Hurd, who is a very junior government minister said the £250 million we gave to the corrupt nation of Nigeria last year was an “absolutely tiny” amount. What sort of idiot is he?

Banksy , the famous graffiti artist did one of his works on a school wall in Bristol. Brilliant.

So we are ready in this country to repel immigrants. Really . With 3 vessels to patrol 7723 miles of coastline we are going to find it difficult. Italy  have 600 vessels and Greece 240 !

Finally thanks Muhammad Ali. Not just a boxer, although you were the best. But civil rights activist, principled man, comedian and fantastic example of how to fight Parkinsons. A truly great human being!

Poem attached                  THE PARK

 

 

 

 

FROSTY FRIDAY

This has been a week of beautiful winter weather. Very cold, frosty some mornings but bright sunshine all day and pretty light winds. It has been a pleasure to walk on the beach with the dog. Have you ever noticed how much happier people are when its sunny. They are more cheerful and stop to talk more readily.

It has been a funny week for news this week. Good and bad.

Hero of the week was RSPCA inspector Mike Reid who died trying to save injured birds from rough seas off the Cornish coast. A brave man who thought more of the birds than his own safety. RIP

Idiot of the week was a woman also on the Cornish coast at Newquay who was taking photos of huge waves hitting the quayside. She was hit by one off the said waves and was washed into the sea. She was saved by the RNLI who had to risk their lives. She only had a broken arm. Those of us who live on the coast know the power of the sea. But it obvious these huge waves are dangerous!

A ten foot wide house in East Dulwich, London sold for 800K this week. You could buy a FOURTEEN bedroom country house hotel for the same price in the north of Scotland. I know what I would rather have.

It has taken 100 years but Einstein has been proved right about gravitational waves.Scientists have proved the existance of black holes. But the thing that amazed me the most is that they can now measure the distance to somewhere like the sun to the nearest atom. That is to the nearest fraction of a millimetre . There 25 millimetres to the inch. That is just scary.

Humour. Pee Cola is a popular drink in Ghana and in China, Burger King sells PooPoo Smoothies.

The world’s largest and most complete Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton is called Sue. That’s a coincidence so was my ex-wife!

Britain’s largest pig is called Boris. He contains enough pork to make 6,000 sausages.

Finally on the 28th June 2009 Stephen Hawkins hosted a party for time travellers from the future.Surprisingly nobody turned up!

A NHS trust Chairman this week was sacked for calling a female NHS manager a whore after she rejected his sexual advances.He was suspended on full pay pending an investigation. He was found guilty but had received £165,000. The lady was awarded £832,000 damages. The whole case cost the rate payer (us) £1.5 million . What a joke!

Well I called Donald Trump a joke last week well he clearly isn’t this week. And Hilary Clinton was absolutely thrashed. Are they flash in the pan results or is this the way the votes are going to go. Interesting times.

Some good news this week was that scientists are now saying life expectancy for men is now 84. So there is loads of life left in the old dog!  But my area of England the North-East has the least!

I refuse to say anything about Jeremy Hunt, the Health Minister. Rhyming slang will surfice.

Lastly I will leave you with a Geordie food called “singing hinnies”, a type of fruit griddle cakes.

Poem this week is thought-provoking”                                       BLURRING AT THE EDGES

 

FEATURING FRIDAY

Glad to be inside after fighting gale force winds with apparently stronger winds to come. It’s the aftermath of the storms they’ve had in USA. all our weather comes from that direction, we just get diluted versions. Although this year in particular lots of water has been picked up from the Atlantic and deposited on us hence all the flooding we have had! Thanks America.

Hero this week is 55 year old James Worsley who died 70 days into his attempt to be the first person to cover the 943 miles across Antartica unaided. There are still adventures left in the world and people prepared to risk their lives attempting them. RIP

Heroine of the week is Johanna Konta, the British tennis player who reached the ladies semi-final in the Australian open this week. She was ranked 151st in April 2015 started the tournament ranked 47th and will end it about 28th. All down to hard work. Good luck in the future. Oh and by the way the BBC decided not to show the tournament live this year. It has been our most successful for nearly 40 years. They decided to show that popular British sport American football instead. The Rose Bowl. Nice one BBC.

Villains of the week. The two 71year old sailors trying to sail across the Atlantic. Since leaving Holland they have been rescued 7 times and have yet to leave England! I think they are being a tad ambitious!

Villainess of the week who tried to claim the lottery prize of £33 million. She produced a ticket she claimed had been in her jeans pocket when she put them thro the washing machine. unfortunately the real winner has now turned. The said claimant is now in hiding!

Hilary Clinton chose Abraham Lincoln as the most successful President ever. Apparently she overlooked husband somehow.

HUMOUR Apparently men who do the dishes get more sex. Does anybody want to buy a dishwasher going cheap?

Birds living in cities start the dawn chorus 5 hours earlier than those in the countryside. Noisy bastards!

Alligators balance twigs on their noses, to lure birds looking for nest building materials. Hope they are birds from the city!

London burnt down in 1077, 1087,1132, 1136,1203,1212,1220 and 1227 as well as 1666. Fire insurance must have been horrendous in those days!

Just 62 people have more than 50% of the world’s population. Absolutely obscene.

Italy has had to cover up nude statues in case they offend the visiting President of Iran.

A lifeboat was called out this week to pull a dead body out of the water. However it was a blow up doll sex aid. Wonder where that ended up?

We sell a huge amount of armaments to Saudi Arabia who use them to bomb civilians in the Yemen. Is that’s what is known as turning a blind eye?

Because of the pricing of rail fares in this country it is cheaper to fly from Newcastle to London (300miles) via Barcelona, Spain than it is to take the train direct. Madness.

Finally there has been controversy this week of some mothers in Darlington taking their kids to school in P.J.s (the mothers not the kids) As long as the kids get to school on time it doesn’t really matter. However you would have thought from a  personal pride point of view and not to embarrass your kids you would have dressed suitably. it’s not as if 9-00 is the crack of dawn!

Poem this week attached.                    A STORY TO TELL

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