I’ve had enough of this coronavirus, all these infections and deaths. I’m just fed up of talking about it. There’s not a lot I can do , continue life and stay safe, encourage my friends and family to be sensible and carry on until the immediate future. There is no question at my age life will be different but there will be a new normality which we will have to cope with.

So about four years ago I started to write a blog as you can tell from the heading it was Beach Thoughts- An  old dog and his bloke. Well my dog was younger then not old and I was the bloke who was old and still is just even older. I hope you understand that, it was all just a play on words. Anyway I walked on the beach where I live and every day was different. The beach changes , the tides ebb and flow , the sand moves, tides bring in all sorts of debris. I have never failed to be fascinated by the power of the waves and why the sea has never been used as an energy source to any great extent baffles me. The prevailing  weather at the coast is amazing , it can be windy in one direction then it changes direction and brings in clouds and rain. Or there are days where I can’t see the local lighthouse for fog then the sun breaks through and it is a glorious morning. Or in the winter when it starts to snow on a beach there is no where to go. But when your dog wants to go swimming  no matter the weather winter or summer it would be unthinkable to deprive him of the privilege. The clothing you wear is hugely important and once you brave the elements there is a certain type of masochism involved. All in all no matter what the weather is like I just love being in the open on the this everchanging  vista of beach. And while I walk I think. It allows me to open my mind to the freedom of my thoughts. I  try to remove my mind of everyday worries and gives me the clarity of more creative thoughts. Inspiration I suppose for poems, stories locked away in everyday life. Too profound it might be but it does work for me. Ok I’m lucky to have the environment and I would certainly accept that having a dog who has an insatiable appetite for walking helps. Oh, and because I am retired. That certainly helps.

HUMOUR– Did you know that Woody from Toy story’s last name was Pride?

Until January 2013 it was illegal for women in Paris to wear trousers!

People will gamble more if they are holding a crocodile. Holding a crocodile would be a gamble enough for me!

The original Popeye got his strength from rubbing a chicken. Spinach growers must have been delighted.

Crisp packets contain nitrogen!

Orthodox Jews can buy kosher sexual lubricants!


Hurry scurry– Turmoil, uproar

Foretoken-Prophetic sign, omen

Foozle–To make (or do) something awkwardly,

Fogbow– A phenomenon like a white or tinted rainbow.

Offing– A distant part of the sea from the shore.

Oozle–To steal.


Champion–Good or brilliant.

Chare– Lane

Cuddy– A horse

Dowie– depressed

Dunch– To bump or crash.

Femmer– weak                                                                                                                                        POEM ATTACHED                                                 HOMECOMING




Hi All. i hope you are all happily isolating. together or seperately. We in the Uk are nearly completing our fifth week with at least another two weeks to go. But it is likely things will gradually ease off after that. It will be gradually’ Probably some schools will open with restrictions and industry will start coming back in some form. The last thing will be hospitality, pubs, restaurants, cafes and any events with any sort of crowds. The likely hood is we will not have some sort of normality until a vaccine is available in mass production. I and my partner may be isolated in some form because of our ages for the rest of the year. It is a frightening prospect.

Anyway deaths and infections here have started to decline but only slowly so far.Problems remain in the accessibility of SSE not only for the front-line health workers but care workers and those in  other  essential trades. Apparently items like gowns are being reused. Deaths due to the virus are only counted when someone dies in hospital apparently it doesn’t matter as much if you die in a care home. A total disgrace. France however counts all deaths caused by Covid 19.  Only one in ten deaths are people under 60 so it shows how it is older people  are worst affected. Also men are more likely  than women and even more at risk are Black, Asian and ethnic minorities.

Boris Johnson is back at work on Monday. He told us a month ago testing, testing, testing was the key to beat the virus. Well we managed 23,000 on Thursday when we are promised 100,000 in a weeks time. But the next promise is that 10 million key workers and there families will be tested soon. Registration commenced this morning for home testing at a rate of 18,000 kits per day this week. by mid morning the site was closed stating “Appications closed”.

Promises , promises.

We had 22 national test centres, hardley turned up, apparently they were in the wrong places! So who knows how many tests will be completed this week when boris sorts things out!

Over in the USA Trump has now had an idea that disinfectant and sunshine will sort thing out. Good luck to you Americans

In the meantime negotiations are going in Europe about Brexit. Does the man in the street really care now. Ideally surviving Corona virus will be the top priority!


Avocados are toxic to horses. And grapes are poisonous to dogs.

The labourers who built the Great Wall of China were fed on sauerkraut. I didn’t realise the Germans built it !

Do you know hamsters one eye at a time?

Astronaut John Young smuggled a corned beef sandwich into space. Was he worried there were no snack bars on the moon.

Research shows that for luxury brands, the ruder the sales staff the higher the sales.


Jiggle– Quicky, jerky movement.

Skedaddle– Run off fast.

Guff– Foolish talk, nonsense.

Vexed– Irate, angry,annoyed.

Shenanigans– Nonsense, trickery, mischief.

Shindig– Dance, party or social affair.


Hoy– To throw.

Nettie– Bathroom, toilet.

Skiffy– Point in the direction of.


Bagie — Turnip.

Bait– Snack, sandwich.

And so a poem, but next week I promise I,m i will only talk about coronavirus briefly. Honestly !!!!!!     THE RIVER








Well its another week. Easter has come and gone.And virtually every day is now the same.I leave the house once a day to walk my dog and thats it. Haven’t driven my car for nearly a month. My partners daughter delivers food for us once a week and we are stocked up for dog food and any medicines we need. Thats it . We are only in contact with each other. All other people have to be kept at a distance. We spend our time in our garden and when the weather is not so nice do work in the house. We still have lots of painting and decorating to do. We buy lots of items we need for the house and garden online and can obtain virtually all we need delivered to the door.

Coronavirus has become a nightmare. Certainly in the UK we appear to be almost at the peak for deaths and infections, but the government has stated the lock-down will continue for at least three weeks. The number of deaths in the UK are now higher  than any other European country. Italy and Spain have now seen deaths reduce. France is now including all deaths from the virus whereas the UK are only deaths in hospital. So our figures are even worse than stated!

The Care home sector has been largely ignored during this epidemic  but there are now large numbers of deaths whether by the virus or other causes. The government has looked to the NHS  to handle hospital admissions where care homes have been left to local authorities to handle. The fact is there has been a failure to look after the elderly generally, be it in Care homes or in their own homes. There has been a bias towards the young and an acceptance to a certain extent that old people will die anyway. Certainly the amount of SSE has been vastly underestimated in the local authorities.

It is too early for inquests but there is no doubt the government has been far too slow in preparing for the amounts of   SSE required. The lack of ventilators is absolutely disgraceful and they are still not not coming through. And the testing has not even reached 20,000 per day which was promised two to three weeks ago. Matt Hancock lies through his back teeth in every press conference he has presided on. He is still promising 100,000 tests by the end of April.Germany however Is still doing 5000,000 a week now. No wonder their deaths are relatively low. The medical experts say his promises are just fantasy. Matt Hancock claims promises as facts what he really means is wish lists. The government quite honestly is totally out of control and Boris Johnson is well out of it. Dominic Raab, seems to be acting leader at the moment. Which will have put Michael Gove’s nose totally out of joint (He thinks he is Boris’s deputy) And Alok Sharma and Priti Patel  are totally lightweights in front of the press. The only one who has impressed me is the Chancellor, Rishi Sunak who states facts as they are.

There will be a huge inquest after the event. The worrying thing is when the virus is subdued what happens next. We will be totally locked down for at least 3 weeks. Germany and Spain and some other European countries are trying start some industries already. If we do not get industry going and school opening with restrictions we could again be too slow. It is really worrying.

Trump is also likely to try to kick start industry in some of the US states

Enough of all that.


Chimpanzees can identify each other by looking at photographs of their bottoms

Lizards can’t breathe and walk at the same time. To be fair I struggle to walk and talk at the same time.

65% of Pakastani soldiers have dandruff.

Whoopi Goldsberg  used to be a bricklayer!

Jerry Springer was born in a London Underground station!


Hugger-mugger– secretive or covert

Humdrum–dull , monotonous, routine.

Jiggered–amazed, confounded.

Jim-jams– nervousfeeling, jitters.

Humdinger– Excellent in it’s kind or person.

Jiggery pokery– Trickery or deception


Gowk– Apple core

Fettle- Type of feeling.

Hinny-Affectional name for a man or woman


Gammy– injured.

Clarty–Ditty, muddy

Canny– kind.

Gawkin–looking at somebody with intensity.










Well all the news is about coronavirus. But has anyone bothered to think about other news. For example whats happening about the wars in Syria and Yemen. Are they now fighting the common enemy coronavirus? And the same applies to other wars throughout the world.  Whats happening about the poor refugees in Turkey and Greece. They are sitting targets for the infection.They can hardly self isolate. They have no sorts of protective equipment. The same applies to already poor people in the Third World. The likelihood is the Western World will recover fairly quickly to the epidemic but the rest of the world will take much more time to recover and a lot more deaths

In Europe now Italy and Spain seemed to have peaked as far as deaths are concerned . But it is believed the UK ,France and especially the US probably have another week before their peak. And China and North Korea are well over the worst. I know Trump doesn’t believe the figures China produced and is in conflict with the WHO but the Chinese did  seem to control the epidemic. pretty quickly. I don’t believe  the Chinese either but they can’t have distorted them too much. What worries me generally especially in the UK is that who collated the figures. We at home are told the numbers of deaths are those who have died in hospital but there is a dispute going on that figures of people who die in nursing or old peoples homes are not included. What figures do we believe? Also there 17,000 people who die in a normal year from “ordinary flu”. Are they included in the corona virus death figures? Nearly 10% of over 80 year old’s will die in a normal year. So it is very difficult to quantify the numbers of death.

The other thing that is a worry is the possibility of a long period of lock down.  There is likely to be more mental health problems, heart problems due to a lack of exercise and finally the impact of increased unemployment and reduced living standards.

These are the balances that need to be judged worthwhile for the future.

Finally it is an ongoing problem that the front line staff in the NHS are still being critical of lack of proper protective clothing. And also a lack of ventilators. We are being promised them “soon” but aren’t materialising . The Germany army has sent us 70 in the last day or so. But the biggest “promise” from Boris Johnson and other spokesmen is that we need testing, testing, testing. That was nearly 2 weeks ago. Two days ago we achieved 11,500. That fact is the Government is making idle promises still. we are reminded that Germany are testing 500,000 a day. are there death rate is much lower pro rata than us.

Now for some HUMOUR.

The world’s largest and complete Tyrannesaurus Rex skeleton is called Sue. That’s funny my ex-wife was called Sue!

Britain’s biggest pig is called Boris . He contains enough pork to make 6,000 sausages! (there is a certain resemblance)

According to the Mayan calendar the next time the world is “going to end” is the 3rd of may 7138. I’ve put it in my calendar.

There is a 12% possibility that a game of moopoly will go on indefinitely

Black holes are not black.

Human teeth evolved from fish scales.


Gardyloo—warning when chamber pot was thrown out of a window.

Brabble— To argue loudly about matters of no impotance.

Crapulous—The condition of feeling ill as a result of too much eating/drinking.

Fudgel— Act of pretending you are working when really doing nothing.

Groke— To stare intently at someone who is eating in the hope they will give you some. (I have a dog like that)

GEORDIE WORDS. Words from the North of England mainly Newcastle- upon- Tyne or Tyneside.

Gadgie or Gadje–Non-Roma person or fellow.

Conk– Break down sic conk out

Buck— To improve, get better as buck up.


Howfing— A mean or shabby person , looking like a beggar.


FINALLY A great big cheer for the Doctors and Nurses and other support workers this killer virus. Thank you





Well, this self isolation thing is very strange. Never mind this being a Friday everyday might as well be a Friday. Everyday is the same. It is only the end of the second week of self isolation , with supposedly at least eleven to go. It is going to be a long time. I’m lucky I suppose. I have a garden and because I have moved into a new house there is quite a lot to do. The weather has been pretty good and spring is the time for planting seeds and clearing out all the rubbish from the winter. The only time my partner and I are allowed out is to walk our dogs. Fortunately we are only a few minutes away from the beach so that allows plenty fresh air.

In the UK all is pretty much doom and gloom, same as much countries as present. Death rates are climbing and we are told the peak will probably be reached in about a couple of weeks.The media is full of criticism for the slowness of the government to react to suppl ying PPE (personal protective equipment) Our NHS is doing a fantastic job in difficult circumstances but there is still shortages of masks, gowns gloves. The government makes promises which are not being fulfilled. But the biggest problem is the lack of testing equipment. Germany is testing 500,000 people in the Uk we are only testing about 10,000.  Our PM (our British Trump) said a fortnight ago the key, is testing, testing, testing. He is isolated at present after having been positively tested but not even the frontline staff like doctors and nurses have been tested yet. We are also hopelessly ill-equipped with ventilators. Again they are expected to come in the next few weeks!

It appears the Western world totally underestimated this virus. A fortnight ago Trump the clown was still saying it was just “flu”. He would wouldn’t he!  The Major of New York however is a realist and appears to be leading from the front. Asian countries reacted much more quickly and South Korea, Taiwan, Singapore and even China itself have recovered more quickly.

Enough of the gloom.

AMUSING FACTS–80% of people who are struck by lightning survive , on the other if you are unlucky 20% die!

After the first recorded hurley match the losing side were brutally murdered. A winner takes all perhaps?

in 1920 Clarence Blethen retired hurt from a baseball game after biting himself on the bottom with the false teeth he kept in his back pocket!

A fight between chameleons is more likely to be started by the one with the brighter stripes.

There are at least 600 men in the world with penis. Whose a lucky boy then?

Scatomancy is telling the future by looking at tuds. What a load of shit!

INTERESTING WORDS– COLLYWOBBLES is a pain in the stomach or abdomen.

COMELY is a handsome, attractive person eg wench.

FLAPPER a bold or unconvential in actions or clothes.

FLIBBERITGIBBET a irresponsible person.

FLIGHTY foolish, silly or frivolous.

HOME Please find poem attached. Also BRUCE the labrador wanted to be in on act!


Well. Ive returned from Amsterdam. I was very impressed, beautiful city and very easy to get around by bus and tram. As most of you will know it is a city of canals lined by beautiful buildings. The people are very easy going and virtually all speak English. Prices are a little more expensive than the uk and there is a huge choice of different types of restaurants and bars. It is a Mecca for famous paintings mainly the Dutch masters and a whole museum of Van Gogh. It is also famous for its Red Light district area where prostitutes display there wares at doors and windows. But it is also an area of great energy and no kind of threatening atmosphere. Certaily a city I would visit again.

Just discovered breakdancing is being considered for the next Olympics. Is it realyl a sport? Having said that surfing and rock climbing are both to be included in 2020. However previous “sports” to be included in previous years were horse long jumping in !00, live clay pigeon shooting in the same year, tug of war from 1900 to 1920 and the most strange of all poetry from 1912 to 1948. How on earth was poetry considered a sport!

The model Edie Campbell was dropped from Milan Fashion show because she was considered too big. Her figures are 32 x 24 x 35 and she is 5ft 10 inches tall. It is is just encouraging young girls to be anorexic.

There are now 733k houses in England  worth more than £1 million and more than half at 396k are in London. There is just a huge North- South divide in wealth.

HUMOUR–The terms “Tory”, “Labour”, and “Prime Minister” all began as insults. So nothing has changed then!

Victorian slang for breasts was “Cupid’s kettledrums”

In Greece between 1920 and 1983 leprosy was grounds for divorce. That was a bit harsh!

Most Britons say sorry almost 2 million times in their lives. Sorry about that!

Only 42% of people in the UK walk their dogs the average 20 minutes on a daily basis. 20% claim their dog doesnt like bad weather and 4% claim their dog doesnt like getting dirty. Really they are just lazy bastards. my dog gets 2hours every day com rain or shine.

Have you noticed men tend not to whistle any more. When I was young milkmen, postmen, deliverymen all whistled when they were about their business. All boys learnt how to whistle at school . Those that couldnt were deemed nurds. But funnily enough not many girls could. I still whistle a lot at home but for some reason not in the street .It is highly unusual to hear anyone whistling in public. I advocate bringing it back.

News of Brexit– None. But some MP’s , those with some courage and principles have resigned from their parties. The rest of the sheep are just bleating on as usual. All they think of is themselves certainly not the country.

POEM attached       EXTREMES



Yes I’m still here. People say January is usually a quite month and not a lot happens. Well not in my life. I have been very busy. Enough of the small talk.

Walkers crisp packets at the moment are not recyclable. But the company states they will be by 2025. Thats 6 years. Why are these companies not forced to do something urgently. It takes 6 years to develop a new type of packet. Thats ridiculous!. There just doesn’t seem the urgency to tackle this plastic problem!

Ronaldo the Portugese footballer was fined £17m for tax evasion in Spain. He had agreed with the authorities to pay £16.5 plus instead of 23 months in jail he was fined £320k. And who says money doesnt talk!!!!!

Alex Salmond former leader of the SNP(Scottish Nationalist party)  who at one time thought he was going to be the first president of Scotland and live in a castle, has been charged with 2 rapes and 9 counts of assault. Now I know you are innocent until you are proven guilty but when you have 11 charges against you , you are likely to be guilty. Oh, how the mighty. fall!

So that great British patriot , Sir James Dyson has decided to take the  HQ of his company to Singapore. Apparently for tax purposes. So money is more important than principles ! What a surprise.

How can we solve the Brexit problem? Well when you have a Prime Minister who was in favour of remaining in Europe leads a pro leave party and Labour the opposition have a pro- leave leader who leads a pro remain party  you have problems. And the balance of power is held by 12 Irish members who are only in it to get as much money for Ireland as possible thats when you have a stalemate.

And there is a similar problem in the USA where Trump can’t get his finance needed to build a wall or a fence or even a hedge to keep those horrible Mexicans out. That is also a stalemate. But in their case 800, 000 Government workers are not being paid.

HUMOUR–Eating 20 million bananas would give you a fatal dose of radioactivity. And by the way bananas are used to make kimonos!

Before humans reached Hawaii the dominant animals were giant ducks.

The longest bout of hiccups lasted 67 years.

In the 1950’s the Cyprus up rising against the British occupation resulted in British soldiers carrying out mock hangings and gang rapes.Compensation has recently been paid out to the victims. This is obviously an admission of guilt.  We were just as bad at civil rights as the countries we complain about now!


VAMOOSE- Depart swiftly (from the Spanish vamos)

SHILLY – SHALLY–To be indecisive.

JUGGINS– Simple minded person

MUCKER– To conceal.

Poem attached                                         that,s life



Yes I know i missed a post last friday. My life is such a whirl. I walk my dog for two hours every day am chairman of a local branch of a organisation called U3A with 300 members . I’m in a walking group,joint leader of a archaeology group, a member of a sports group and psychology group and now I’m involved with school runs and gymnastic classes for a little girl who isn’t even 5 yet. Oh , and I try to write a blog and a poem every week. Good job i’m retired or I wouldn’t be able to fit it in otherwise.

I’m not going to say much about Brexit other than apologise to everyone for the shambles this country has become. we have had two successive Prime Ministers who couldn’t negotiate themselves ou of a paper bag. Our Parliament has become more like a kindergarden of bawling kids. It used to be one of the most democracies in the world we are now a laughing stock. So I apologise on behalf of the man in the street who cant believe what is happening. SORRY!

We had a previous Prime Minister called Gordon Brown who was less than knowledgeable about modern times . Apparently he was always confused about LGBT( lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) and BLT’s(bacon , lettuce and tomato sandwiches) I actually know the difference between the two but I am confused about the number of sexual connitations there are now.

HUMOUR a single lightening bolt produces enough energy to power a family home for a month. Ok, so how do you catch it?

On 28th June 2009 Stephen Hawking hosted a party for time travellers from the future. Surprisingly nobody turned up!

in the year 20860 the Islamic and Christian calendars will finally agree.  pity I wont be around then to see some sort of agreement.

Human teeth evolved from fish scales.

The Uk Government were going to ban the sale of energy drinks to children. Apparently it is not convinced these high sugar high caffeine drinks have any effect on obesity. Even though obesity levels in children are rising year after year. Stupid.

I know i often talk about obscene prices for art etc. Here is another one. A bottle of whisky costing £1.2 million or a glass worth £43,000.  How do you drink a glass coting that much? Do you drink it off in one gulp or do you sip it? OBSCENE


Fiddle-faddle-Wasting time doing trivial thing.

Lickspittle- A grovelling individual.

Kickshaw-Little bits of what you fancy, which do you good.

Rapscallion- A rascal or rogue.

There is more and more evidence of climate change or global warming but when are countries going to take it seriously. we have just had a major conference about it but until the large industrial countries doing something about it things aren’t going to change. It is likely our children are going to suffer the most not those of us who are adults now.

POEM attached      THE UNDERSTUDY    


Those that have read my blog previously will know i have a yellow Labrador dog called Bruce. in a way he dictates my life. He has three walks a day, first thing in the morning, late mornig and evening. So in a way I fit my life around him, or in another way I fit his his life round mine, but when i have to leave him for more than 4 and a half hours I have to make arrangements to have him taken to friends or relations. Fortunately most Labs are very friendly and people like having him. Also when going away on holiday I make arrangements that he stays at a registered dog walkers house. Kennels are pretty old fashioned these days, dogs tend to stay in peoples houses with other dogs and are walked every day. It is not cheap but the dogs are much happier. Dogs have huge benefits both physically and mentally. The physical side is provided by the walking you do. The mental benefit is untold. I live on my own and several years ago and had treatment for cancer( successfully) Radiotherapy for every weekday for 7 weeks. I actually visited hospital 43 times. What kept me going even when I could not be bothered was walking the dog. It was difficult but it kept me focused. Dogs are unrelentingly faithful and just want to be fed, walked and fussed over. Stroking a dog has therapeutic benefits of being calm and relaxed. Also you find when you walking your dog you meet and talk with other dog owners. In fact I find everyone knows my dog’s name but not mine.

After extolling the virtue of dogs i have just read the following facts :- There are 20 million dog owners in the UK and of that number 24% are left alone for more than 5 hours every week day, 16% aren’t walked at least once a day and 47% of dogs seen by vets are overweight or obese. 12% haven’t received any sort of training, These figures are depressing as we all have a basic commitment to look after them properly.

All has gone quite this week so I presume Saudi Arabia has got away with the murder of the journalist in Turkey. They are certainly still bombing civilians in Yemen but thats ok to the US as the other side are being backed by Iran, who are the real big bad wolf!

So all the politicians fine words have been useless. And the rich kids get away with murder (literally)

How can Republican politicians in the US claim victory when they lost The House of Representatives? Surely if nothing else it will slow the progress of new laws by the administration. Or even drop them.But overall Trump claimed it was a great victory in the Senate and the loss of the other house was down to the hostile media. Of course it was.

And Brexit. Well the talks go on, and on,********************* probably ad infinitum.

Right wings parties are certainly on the march all over the world. They have just had a big victory in Brazil which follows good results for them in Germany, Italy, Austria and Sweden and soon in France. The UK and US have already swung right. And what have they all got in common? Immigration. Incoming foreigners stealing jobs!

HUMOUR—-The labourers who built the “Great Wall of China” were fed on sauerKraut.

Eating dogs is legal in 44 US states.

Alan Shepard took a peanut to the moon. When he came back Steve McQueen tried to eat it.

Termites like the smell of biro ink!                                              LOST LOVE



DOnt know why but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking this week as i’ve meandered my way on the fields and beaches of Northumberland with my dog. Temperature has dropped this week and we have had our first frost. Weather on the coast is never too extreme but only 20 miles away they had had snow last weekend. When you have a dog you obviously have to take them for walks no matter what the weather so bad weather does no bother me too much. But lack of daylight does. It is about 7 in the morning when it gets light but it is dark at five. And it will get worse until mid December.

What have I been thinking about? Lots of different things.

It is coming up to 100 years since the end of the 1st world war. Did you know 16 million died and 23 million were injured? Millions of men lost their lives on both sides due to the arrogance and ineptitude of politicians and soldiers. I honestly think some of them should have been charged as war criminals, from both sides. And who won? I don’t really think any side won. Men on both sides were used as cannon fodder.

Why do lotteries pay out such high prices. There was one in the USA over a billion dollars. Why dont they pay out a maximum of £2 or $2, but lots of  prizes. I think £2 million can make the ordinary person happy. Enough probably to buy , say, two houses and three cars and have lots of holidays. A billion pounds actually can make you unhappy. Past winners marriages have broken up and friends and relatives have fallen out as you can be accused of either flaunting the winnings or not sharing them enough. The truth is you cant win. You will probably lose old friends and make new enemies. I dont actually buy any tickets.

The world is swinging to the right. There have been elections in Brazil and Germany this week and in both right-wing candidates did really well. Theses right wing parties are actually nationalists or even fascists with a different name! And are potentially dangerous.

HUMOUR—Martian sunsets are blue

Until 1900 visitors to Stonehenge were given chisels so the could chip off a souvenir.

Elephants like to tickle each other.

WOW –Every leech has 18 testicles and 2 ovaries.

Have you seen the photograph of J Lo almost in the nude. She claims she is making a stand for female empowerment. I think she is doing the opposite.

CHILD OBESITY- In the UK only 1 in 30 children get enough exercise.

PLASTIC———-90% of seabirds have plastic in their stomachs.

A man who lived in a terraced house in Lancs was discovered to have left hundred of paiting in his house when he died. His paintings are very reminiscent of the important British painter LS Lowry. He had never attempted to sell any in his lifetime but they could be very valuable now.

So the Saudis did kill the Saudi Journalist Khashoggi. What a surprise! But none of the ruling Royal Family knew anything about it. No surprise there!!!!!

POEM attached       OLD JOE