Well its now March and the meteorology start of Spring and that was justified last week with the highest ever February temperature since records began of nearly 21 degrees C. not here in the North East I may say but it was rather nice weather. I’m on holiday again soon. Going to Portugal and Spain so hope weather is equally as good .

Well done Olivia Colman for winning the Oscar for best actress and for being a normal human being!

A baby was born in Tokyo recent weighing only 268 grams or 10 ounces. She has now gone home weighing 7lbs.  Some of the  advances in medical sciences are now incredible. I read the other day doctors had operated successfully on a baby while it was still in the womb.

I know I have talked a lot about child obesity in the past . I still dont think enough is being to tackle the problem. But equally as bad is being underweght. I saw a photo of some models at the recent Yves St. Laurent fashion show. They were like match stick people, painfully thin. I know they are only there to show off the clothes but surely an average person would be able to do just as well. Their problem is just as bad as obesity. Cindy Crawford,s daughter Kaia was one of the models. You would think her mother would have advised her better.

OLD FASHIONED WORDs— CONK- This had two meanings, a nose and to breakdown suddenly as in”conk out”

SKEW WHIFF— Meaning not straight or crooked.

SKEDADDLE— Make a quick getaway.

STROPPY–Awkward or badly behaved.


A Donald Trump wig is on the loose in the Uk. It cost £15 to make took 6 months and has gone missing from the workshop that made it for a show.

British MP’s have given themselves a pay rise of about £2000. Civil servants working for them will be given a lower % rise of course.

WEEKLY TRUMP REPORT– NO DEAL -TRUMP-KIM How could two cheats, liars ever agree with each other?

WEEKLY MAY REPORT– MAY remains in her little bubble,how does just delaying everything work. Does she just think she will wake up and Brexit will have gone away.I hope when I wake up she will have gone away.

WEEKLY CORBYN REPORT–CORBYN keeps changing his mind about everything.He says Labour is not an antisemitic party but one of his top supporters everyone is makking too much of a fuss about nothing!

Gradually Corbyn is making certain certain he will never be PM. Im a life long Socialist and certainly doesnt support my beliefs.

HUMOUR–The Chilean word “achaplinarse”means to run around in the style of Charlie Chaplin. Not surprising really!

Ladybirds can fly as fast as racehorses can run. But ladybirds dont have a jockey on their backs!

French toast is thousands of years older than France.

UK house spiders include the Pink Prowler , the Spitting Spider and the Missing Sector Orb Weaver. Wouldnt like to meet that lot on a dark night!

Poem attached      STORMY WEATHER




Well. Ive returned from Amsterdam. I was very impressed, beautiful city and very easy to get around by bus and tram. As most of you will know it is a city of canals lined by beautiful buildings. The people are very easy going and virtually all speak English. Prices are a little more expensive than the uk and there is a huge choice of different types of restaurants and bars. It is a Mecca for famous paintings mainly the Dutch masters and a whole museum of Van Gogh. It is also famous for its Red Light district area where prostitutes display there wares at doors and windows. But it is also an area of great energy and no kind of threatening atmosphere. Certaily a city I would visit again.

Just discovered breakdancing is being considered for the next Olympics. Is it realyl a sport? Having said that surfing and rock climbing are both to be included in 2020. However previous “sports” to be included in previous years were horse long jumping in !00, live clay pigeon shooting in the same year, tug of war from 1900 to 1920 and the most strange of all poetry from 1912 to 1948. How on earth was poetry considered a sport!

The model Edie Campbell was dropped from Milan Fashion show because she was considered too big. Her figures are 32 x 24 x 35 and she is 5ft 10 inches tall. It is is just encouraging young girls to be anorexic.

There are now 733k houses in England  worth more than £1 million and more than half at 396k are in London. There is just a huge North- South divide in wealth.

HUMOUR–The terms “Tory”, “Labour”, and “Prime Minister” all began as insults. So nothing has changed then!

Victorian slang for breasts was “Cupid’s kettledrums”

In Greece between 1920 and 1983 leprosy was grounds for divorce. That was a bit harsh!

Most Britons say sorry almost 2 million times in their lives. Sorry about that!

Only 42% of people in the UK walk their dogs the average 20 minutes on a daily basis. 20% claim their dog doesnt like bad weather and 4% claim their dog doesnt like getting dirty. Really they are just lazy bastards. my dog gets 2hours every day com rain or shine.

Have you noticed men tend not to whistle any more. When I was young milkmen, postmen, deliverymen all whistled when they were about their business. All boys learnt how to whistle at school . Those that couldnt were deemed nurds. But funnily enough not many girls could. I still whistle a lot at home but for some reason not in the street .It is highly unusual to hear anyone whistling in public. I advocate bringing it back.

News of Brexit– None. But some MP’s , those with some courage and principles have resigned from their parties. The rest of the sheep are just bleating on as usual. All they think of is themselves certainly not the country.

POEM attached       EXTREMES



Dont know how long this blog will be as Im waiting for a taxi to take me to the ferry terminal at north shields to catch a ferry to Amersterdam. I live about fifteen minutes away and a ferry leaves every day of the week at 4-30Pm. I have never been to Amsterdam and Im now over 70. Just never got round to it. Considering Ive been to most European countries and half way round the world its taken me long enough. Im told its worth it. Will report back next week.

Whats happened this week/ pretty normal week really. No change in the Uk re Brexit. They now have votes in the Commons and the PM just ignores the result whether she wins or not. Apparently it costs us £800 million a week now due to no decision and probably more when we do leave. The ordinary person has now given up and the politicians are driven by self interest rather having the countries interest at heart. So the stalemate goes on , and on, and ……….Im sure you get the drift!

Meanwhile in the US it is not much better. Trump is declaring a state of emergency to get his money for a wall (or is it a fence or even a hedge now). The poor people of America must be highly delighted that he wants to spend $5 billion on it.

How ironic. A Polish lady of 100 who survived the holocaust was mugged in the street and subsequently died killed by a Polish mugger in the streets of Derby.!

Just discovered the two actors playing Ma and Pa Walton in that good old fashioned US drama The Waltons were having an affair. How dreams are broken.

Sorry got to go my taxi has arrived

Poem attached       THAT,S LIFE


Yes I’m still here. People say January is usually a quite month and not a lot happens. Well not in my life. I have been very busy. Enough of the small talk.

Walkers crisp packets at the moment are not recyclable. But the company states they will be by 2025. Thats 6 years. Why are these companies not forced to do something urgently. It takes 6 years to develop a new type of packet. Thats ridiculous!. There just doesn’t seem the urgency to tackle this plastic problem!

Ronaldo the Portugese footballer was fined £17m for tax evasion in Spain. He had agreed with the authorities to pay £16.5 plus instead of 23 months in jail he was fined £320k. And who says money doesnt talk!!!!!

Alex Salmond former leader of the SNP(Scottish Nationalist party)  who at one time thought he was going to be the first president of Scotland and live in a castle, has been charged with 2 rapes and 9 counts of assault. Now I know you are innocent until you are proven guilty but when you have 11 charges against you , you are likely to be guilty. Oh, how the mighty. fall!

So that great British patriot , Sir James Dyson has decided to take the  HQ of his company to Singapore. Apparently for tax purposes. So money is more important than principles ! What a surprise.

How can we solve the Brexit problem? Well when you have a Prime Minister who was in favour of remaining in Europe leads a pro leave party and Labour the opposition have a pro- leave leader who leads a pro remain party  you have problems. And the balance of power is held by 12 Irish members who are only in it to get as much money for Ireland as possible thats when you have a stalemate.

And there is a similar problem in the USA where Trump can’t get his finance needed to build a wall or a fence or even a hedge to keep those horrible Mexicans out. That is also a stalemate. But in their case 800, 000 Government workers are not being paid.

HUMOUR–Eating 20 million bananas would give you a fatal dose of radioactivity. And by the way bananas are used to make kimonos!

Before humans reached Hawaii the dominant animals were giant ducks.

The longest bout of hiccups lasted 67 years.

In the 1950’s the Cyprus up rising against the British occupation resulted in British soldiers carrying out mock hangings and gang rapes.Compensation has recently been paid out to the victims. This is obviously an admission of guilt.  We were just as bad at civil rights as the countries we complain about now!


VAMOOSE- Depart swiftly (from the Spanish vamos)

SHILLY – SHALLY–To be indecisive.

JUGGINS– Simple minded person

MUCKER– To conceal.

Poem attached                                         that,s life



Well it’s a new year! A year of opportunity, a year of good luck, a year of good health, wealth. Who knows, but I believe it it always best to look forward and take any opportunities that arise when they arise. It is no good looking back later and regretting not doing something. It is better trying and failing than not trying at all! I have always believed in looking forward. Learning from the past but not regretting it as hind sight is a wonderful thing!

So good luck everyone and I hope you achieve whatever you really want to in 2019.

A man was given 6 years in prison for manslaughter for killing a girlfriend by driving a boat recklessly. He did not appear in court and has disappeared. But he has claimed £100,000 from the public purse to pay a legal team to prepare for an appeal. No one knows where he is not even his lawyers. So how is he allowed this money? The LAW is a ass.

5 of the 11 suspected of killing the Saudi journalist Jamai Khasihoggi in Turkey are likely to be executed.They deserve to be punished but not the death penalty.But what about the Crown Prince who ordered the killing.Nothing of course.His country is rich in oil so the world turns a blind eye.

The railway system in the uk is a disgrace! So what does the Government do. Puts up the prices of course! Oh, and by the way it is all the fault of the tade unions. I didn’t realise they were responsibile for all the time tables being changed, late trains and lots of antiquated rolling stock. The transport minister Chris Grayling is a joke.

HUMOUR–Mentioning guacamole in your dating profile gets you 144% more responses.

Australia is slightly wider than the moon. But it’s not blue or made out of cheese!

Elephants hear much better with one foot off the ground. But, it doesn’t work with humans because I’ve just tried it.

Haribo sweets contain nine out of the ten amino acids essential for life. So does that mean we could live off Maribo sweets alone?

As I keep mentioning child obesity in the uk is the worst in Western Europe. Yet the Government claims they are doing everything possible. Rubbish, as the Chief Medical Officer suggests we should be taxing the companies that produce junk foods. Instead of voluntary agreements with food and drink manufacturers we need to make them reduce sugar content or just fine them!

But McDonalds are now selling a vegetarian happy meal and Greggs a vegan sausage roll! And apparently they are both selling well. Food for thought.

OLD FASHIONED WORDS– Yex – A burp or a hiccup.

Blatherskite-Someone who talks too much.

Tommyrot- Talking rubbish.

Hogwash- As above

Poem attached      A ticking clock



Well Xmas is over and a new year is dawning, hopefully better world -wise than 2018.

I wish you all a New Year that gives everything you would choose for yourself!

2018 has been a year of totally inept politicians, a year when the wealthy have become dramatically weathier and the poor have become poorer that is the ones who are still alive. And a year when corrupt and non-democratic states have thrived.

Firstly in America I watched Obama giving out Xmas presents at a children’s hospital. ok, he did not achieve a great deal in his time in office (he struggled to get legislation through a Republican majority) But I do believe he was a man of humility and integrity. He got on with children and the ordinary people. So did his wife Michelle. Both came from working class families and showed what was possible in a democracy. Trump is the exact opposite. No way could you ever accuse him of humility or integrity. And his wife is just an acquired trophy. He is without a doubt the most deceitful leader of a western- world democracy.

Then in the UK. , we have a (I nearly said leader) PM who is devoid of reality. She has now overtaken David Cameron in being the worst PM  in my life-time. She keeps saying the same things parrot -fashion, such as Brexit is Brexit and the deal she has negotiated is the best deal possible. Theresa May has been out-manoeuvered by Europe as was Cameron before her. It was not a negotiation , it was a ultimatum!  She keeps talking about free trade, our own laws and freedom of movement. The thing that caused the problem is immigration. No matter how you dress it up the referendum was a response to the UKIP party winning more than 3 million votes in the previous general election. UKIP is a ultra right wing party (bordering on Fascist) whose campaign was solely based on restricting the number of immigrants into the country. And so a Yes or No referendum was offered on staying or leaving Europe. It was very close 52-48%. But at that stage no one knew what exactly they were voting for. Theresa May at that stage was a remainer. But cleverly she did not campaign and kept a very low profile during the vote. Cameron resigned and she became leader as neither Remainers or Leavers could decide who was best. she got the Pm’s job on the basis she was the least worst and was a safe pair of hands. WRONG. As she had only a small majority she arrogantly decided the Labour Party was weak and if she had a General Election she would easily win another 100 odd seats. WRONG AGAIN. She got even less seats. And so as New Year approaches we are in total limbo. If you want my opinion the way forward is that Europe offer us an extra package to actually stay in.

In the rest of the world Putin continues to do what he likes in Syria and the Ukraine, Saudi Arabia and Iran fight each other in the Yemen and millions starve or are killed in indiscriminate bombing.

Erdogan in Turkey continues to gag the press and runs an oppressive state. Myanmar’s army dictatorship displaced 700, 000 Rohingya people.

And most African countries appear to be corrupt and run by despots.

And where was the UN in all of this? Well they were talking about it as usual. But no major actions taken, as usual.

We dont appear to be making much progress in Climate change either. Some countries dont even accept it is happening.

And the plastic problem is getting worse too.

And the Japanese are going to start killing whales again soon.

And so we enter 2019. My personal life is pretty good health and happiness wise, I just worry about the world for the sake of my children and grand children. So as long as we keep our fingers crossed we should be OK. Good Luck everybody.





Yes I know i missed a post last friday. My life is such a whirl. I walk my dog for two hours every day am chairman of a local branch of a organisation called U3A with 300 members . I’m in a walking group,joint leader of a archaeology group, a member of a sports group and psychology group and now I’m involved with school runs and gymnastic classes for a little girl who isn’t even 5 yet. Oh , and I try to write a blog and a poem every week. Good job i’m retired or I wouldn’t be able to fit it in otherwise.

I’m not going to say much about Brexit other than apologise to everyone for the shambles this country has become. we have had two successive Prime Ministers who couldn’t negotiate themselves ou of a paper bag. Our Parliament has become more like a kindergarden of bawling kids. It used to be one of the most democracies in the world we are now a laughing stock. So I apologise on behalf of the man in the street who cant believe what is happening. SORRY!

We had a previous Prime Minister called Gordon Brown who was less than knowledgeable about modern times . Apparently he was always confused about LGBT( lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) and BLT’s(bacon , lettuce and tomato sandwiches) I actually know the difference between the two but I am confused about the number of sexual connitations there are now.

HUMOUR a single lightening bolt produces enough energy to power a family home for a month. Ok, so how do you catch it?

On 28th June 2009 Stephen Hawking hosted a party for time travellers from the future. Surprisingly nobody turned up!

in the year 20860 the Islamic and Christian calendars will finally agree.  pity I wont be around then to see some sort of agreement.

Human teeth evolved from fish scales.

The Uk Government were going to ban the sale of energy drinks to children. Apparently it is not convinced these high sugar high caffeine drinks have any effect on obesity. Even though obesity levels in children are rising year after year. Stupid.

I know i often talk about obscene prices for art etc. Here is another one. A bottle of whisky costing £1.2 million or a glass worth £43,000.  How do you drink a glass coting that much? Do you drink it off in one gulp or do you sip it? OBSCENE


Fiddle-faddle-Wasting time doing trivial thing.

Lickspittle- A grovelling individual.

Kickshaw-Little bits of what you fancy, which do you good.

Rapscallion- A rascal or rogue.

There is more and more evidence of climate change or global warming but when are countries going to take it seriously. we have just had a major conference about it but until the large industrial countries doing something about it things aren’t going to change. It is likely our children are going to suffer the most not those of us who are adults now.

POEM attached      THE UNDERSTUDY    


Sorry , late again. Just seem to have a lot on recently.

The Tower of London has been guarded by Beefeaters (Yeoman Warders) since 1485. One of them looks after the 7 ravens who lives there. There has been a tradition that should the ravens leave the Tower England will fall to a foreign power. My dad was stationed at the Tower during the 2nd World War and he told me they were manacled then so they couldn’t fly away. There are only 37 Beefeaters now and apparently they are considering going on strike re their pension terms. So whose going to look after the ravens? And what happens if they they/

Some local authorities in England are considering giving convicted rapists access to children born as a result of their rape. That is ridiculous! What about the feelings of the woman who was raped?

A long lost Da Vinci drawing was offered to museums at the discounted price of £18 million No museums can afford this price so it will be sold at it’s market price of between £26 -£53 million to a private person.Thats really sad but why cant the private dealer buy it and donate it back to a museum so the public can see ir. Oh and , by the way the last picture, Salador Mundi,  by him went for  £350 million.

A German survey of 130 millionaires found that they think they are something special. they were found to be more extroverted and conceited than the general population. they were more focused on themselves and “getting ahead” than their relationships with others. Hardly surprising !

HUMOUR- During the 1741 general Election angry voters pelted candidates with dead cats and dogs.

Edouard Monet’s cat was eaten during the Siege of Paris in 1870.

Rice Krispies in Germany go “Knisper! Knasper! Knusper!” Must translate as , “Snap, Crackle and Pop .

Sweden makes biofuel from dead rabbits.

The modern politician replies to anything he doesn’t believe in as either “fake news” or doesn’t agree with figures or statistics produced. They don’t have well  constructed and reasoned discussions any more. In fact they don’t actually answer the questions they are asked any more.

A new £50 note is to be issued in the UK soon. It was announced that it would be a scientist such as Alexander Graham Bell, who invented the phone, Frank Whittle , the jet engine pioneer, Jethro Tull, horse drawn seed drill, Patrick Moore, astronomer, Barnes wallis, the inventor of the bouncing bomb. But the favourite is ex Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, who was a food scientist, working on ice cream for two years. SOme scientist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Condiddle- To steal.

Caterwaul- Burst of high pitch screaming.

Fizgig-Someone prone to flirtation.

Pettifogging- Attaching undeserved importance to something.

Trollop- A promiscous woman.

This country now has over 300, 000 homeless people and now have food banks for people who are struggling financially. So how come we now fund overseas aid to the tune of £14 billion.We give £151million to the corrupt leaders of Uganda who distibute to the elite of the country rather than the poor. Other countries receiving aid are- India, £90 million, Pakistan, £402 million, Turkey, £!37million, Myanmar £120 million and Iraq, £82 million. Oh, and China £43million. What we are supposed to get in return i haven’t got a clue.

Now don’t get me wrong i totally believe in helping the poorer countries but it is so important it gets to those who need it most not filtered off by the corrupt and greedy leaders.







Our Foreign Minister is apparently upset with the UAE who have sentenced Durham University student, Matthew Hedges to life imprisonment (minimum 25 years) for spying . Jeremy Hunt has told his wife they are doing everything possible to get him released. But what I would like to know what the british Government was doing while he was held in solitary confinement for 6 months before his 5 minute “fair” trail. He was given a lawyer who could not speak English and did not see any British consulate official until he had had 6 weeks of interrogation. And the UAE is supposed to be an ally!.

There is also the case of Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe, a British-Iranian who has been held in Iran since 2016 also accused of spying. She was a teacher on holiday.

Finally I go back to the case of the Saudi journalist Jamal Khashhoggi , murdered by a Saudi hit squad in Turkey. The ruling Royal family claim it was nothing to do with them. Donald trump has said even IF it is proved they did know they wont fall out with Sadi Arabia.

And what have all three situations got in common? They are all countries with lots of oil. They buy lots of  weapons from us from the UK and US. So individuals dont really matter in the scheme of things.

The only thing  the UN do is to apply sanctions against countries that step out of line. But they rarely work. We have sanctions against Russian for being involved in Syria and invading the Crimea. Sanctions against Iran. The only time I can remember them being really successful was against South Africa In the fight against Apartheid. Generally they dont work and the countries do what they like..


To Betrump, what a coincidence it means to conceive.



Gadzooks- An expression of surprise.

JUGGINS- Someone who is gullible.


A German town has stopped children hanging their Xmas wishlists from Santa Claus on a tree in the market place. This is due to new European privacy laws (GDPR)

A woman who is MD of a on line betting company was paid £265 miillion last year. This sort of salary is obscene . If directors of companies pay themselves such amounts, ( the MD of Persimmon (since resigned) was another who earned over £100 million.) they should pay huge tax bills. When you consider there are more than 300,000 homeless in this country, food banks are now fairly normal in cities it is a fact the rich are becoming richer and the poor poorer!

And Brexit, well it goes on and on and the rest of the counties needs are ignored, lack of police on the streets, (two police, a man and woman were beaten up on a main street while a passer-by filmed it on his phone and thought it was funny), mental illness in children is increasing dramatically, knife crime is growing by the day, the prisons are in disarray and the targets set for cancer treatment are falling wellshort. The ship UK is not a happy ship.

Humour—- each person in a swimming pool leaves behind 8 and 20 teaspoons of urine!

Goats cant cry.

If you tickle a rat everyday it’ll start laughing as soon as it sees you. WOW.

POEM attached          LOST IN LOVE





How things have changed in the Uk in my life time. When i left school my first job was with the NCB (National Coal Board) there were 124 mines in the Northumberland and Durham coalfield. Now there are none , in fact there are none in the hole of the UK. The North East of England in the sixties was virtually all manufacturing , coal mining, heavy engineering and shipbuilding. The area at one time built more ships than anywhere else in the world. And in 2018 fifty years there are no ships built, no pits and no heavy engineering. By far the largest employer is the Nissan (Japanese owned obviously) After them the largest employers are hospitals, local authorities which are run by the state. So that is what has happened not just in my area but the in the whole of the UK.

THE UK now has only 8% jobs relying on manufacturing. Now I know technology has played a large part in this reduction of jobs but it is a frightening situation. And Brexit will certainly not help us.

So what it happening with Brexit. Well nobody knows really. The government and indeed the Prime Minister pretend they know. But after 2 years of negotiation the people are non the wiser. It is a shambles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dont know about you but I have always had a huge fear of sitting next to a very obese person on a plane. Now Im not talking about somebody who is overweight Im talking about is very fat. I even look around in the lounge just before we board to see if I could have a problem. so far I havent.

A 5ft 2in man who was in the window seat had a 23 stone, 6ft 5in sitting in the seat next to him on a 13 hour BA flight from Bangkok to London. He is suing the airline for injuries incurred on the flight. As i say it would be my worst nightmare!

HUMOUR–There are more statues of lions in the world than there are real lions.

It is illegal in Chicago to have weeds more than 10 inches tall.

You can tell if a duck has bird flu by smelling its droppings.

Johnny Cash’s estate once refused permission for his hit “Ring of Fire” to be used in a commercial for haemorrhoid cream

Donald Trump last week cancelled a visit to a 1st World War military cemetery as it was raining.  Were the troops in the trenches allowed to stop fighting when it rained?

The USA are outdoing the UK in murders yet again.

A gun mass murder in the US if more than 4 people are killed. There have been more than 300 this year , basically one a day.

In London there have been 119 murders so far this year involving knife crime.

What a tragic situation and what is being done in both instances. They are talking about it!

The Supermarkets in the UK turned out 59 billion pieces, which includes 810,000 tonnes of single use plastic. So the government claims they are making progress is just not true.